Minor Holiday Rants that Don't Merit Their Own Thread

The BBQ Pit
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It’s that time of year. . . everyone’s stressed out and on edge and you just need to vent. But you feel silly starting a thread about the ribbon that didn’t curl right or the souffle that fell. So here it is, a place to gripe about the minor problems so they don’t mar and otherwise pleasant holiday experience.

I’ll start:

Can anyone tell me when butter cookie dough becomes “pliable but cool?” Because I was messing with it for an hour last night and the closest it got to pliable was “bends before breaking and crumbling.” So my two tone pepperment swirl cookies are going to be more two tone peppermint marble cookies. I curse you 50’s housewives who wrote this recipe.

Also, to my friends C&T. Please come to the Xmas Poker party. We don’t care if you can’t afford expensive gifts. We know it’s been a hard year for you and we don’t blame you. Really. The pleasure of your company is present enough. Or do what you said you’d do at Thanksgiving and bake us something. Even better if you give me the recipe afterwards. Just come and drink egg nog and accept our gifts with the intent they were given. Because we care about you.

Anyone else?

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I haven’t done any christmas shopping yet. I’m working til christmas eve.

I have a christmas work’s do to go to tomorrow which I don’t really feel like going to (I agreed to it because I thought more people that I know were going than turned out to be going)

Had to buy a smart shirt for it. Haven’t bought a smart shirt in, well, ever. I don’t have the build for smart shirts. I am going to look like a tit in it.

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  1. Please don’t make presents for the entire household part of your party. I don’t know some of them, don’t like others of them and am feeling guilty about not wanting to go because I can’t stand shopping for people I don’t like or don’t know.

  2. Give me your parking space.

  3. I want a tree. I know we won’t be home on the day, and it would be killing a tree, but I want one anyway. Why do they have to be so freaking expensive?

4

Ah, here’s where I can whine about this not very important, but nagging issue.

My husband’s aunt and uncle host a Christmas Eve party every Christmas. They are very nice, hospitable people, and I like going there, but they smoke, and we don’t. A couple of other aunts and uncles smoke, too, so it ends up being very smoky in the house, and Jim and I feel pretty crappy Christmas Day (with smoke hangovers) because of this.

I don’t see any solution to this, other than not going, and this is the one time each year that Jim sees all of his extended family. We certainly can’t tell people not to smoke in their own house.

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I pit myself for being a scrooge. I take after my father that way. My wife lives for Christmas, and having me not join in whole-heartedly makes her sad, which makes me sad. So, I have to make myself get the spirit of the season. I am a sad example of a human being for not being naturally Christmas-y.

Merry Kawanzanukkah, everybody!

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My biggest minor holiday pet peeve is the *Celebration of the Season * concert given by my kids’ high school.

Every single, solitary year {and I’ve had to sit through 5 of them and have 4 more to go} the bands and choirs and combined bands/choirs perform 29 Christmas carols/secular Xmas songs and then toss in one (but only one) Hanukkah tune. This year it was “The Eight Candle.”

What, is this supposed to make the Orthodox Jews in the audience feel included? Does the choir director sleep well that night reflecting back on the diverse concert he created? What, exactly, is the point?

The only bright spot it affords is that it gives me a good, real-life example of the definition of the word token.

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The lights in my window won’t stay up :frowning:

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OK this is the pit right? That means I can vent, right?

So I work at a restaurant, a locally owned franchise of a national ice cream parlour/family restaurant. So the dickhead boss heard that Denny’s was packed all day last Christmas and he decided to be open this year.
Now, I’ve been there since May at this shithole. The capitalist fuckwad charges 50 cents a day to each of his employees for drinks, he is known for docking people 30 minutes a shift for their break even if they didn’t break, he sells us our uniform shrts and aprons at a profit, doesn’t offer any benefits or vacation…I could go on and on.

The asshole never had to do a thing in his life, being the son of a well known local rich guy. He got into politics for awhile, but he fucked that up by getting arrested a few times.

Anyway, the only reason I work there is because the job market isn’t so hot where I live, and the pays OK there and I can get as much overtime as I want. I have a 2 1/2 year old and another on the way in a in another 6 weeks or so.

I have the option of either working 9 AM-2PM or 12PM-5PM. I just want to quit so bad, but I cant because my wife isn’t working and we barley get by paycheck to paycheck. If I quit…well…I just can’t. Not till I have something else lined up. I’m afraid my bitterness is going to get the better of me and I’ll end up shooting my mouth off and walking out.

While I’m at it, let me digress to pit the assholes supporting this human scum by going out to eat on Christmas. STAY THE FUCK HOME PEOPLE. FOR ONE FUCKING DAY. At least go have some Chinese or Indian food or something. Those guys will be more than happy to appease your fucking hunger on Christmas day.

If I didn’t have my little boy, I wouldn’t give two shits about working on Christmas day. I’m an athiest, but I like Christmas as a secular holiday. This is the first year that my son is gonna know whats going on with Santa and everything, and that fat piece of greedy shit is ruining the day for my whole family. My boy is going to be wanting daddy to play with the toys Santa bought , but I’ll be leaving for work. Dinner is at Grandmas at 2:00, so it looks like I’ll miss that too.

I hope that fucker doesn’t get a single customer that day.

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In addition to the “don’t eat out”, please don’t shop on Christmas Day either!

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The fat piece of greedy shit is my boss of course, not Santa :slight_smile:

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You rotten, slimy, peice of shit asshole!! You KNOW it’s fucking CHRISTMAS!! If you don’t want your precious goddamned Mitsubishi Gallant getting a fucking scratch, STAY THE FUCK HOME OR BRING ANOTHER CAR!!! Taking up two spaces in an already packed parking garage on December 10th damn near justifies the keying I saw that kid give you.

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YES! Don’t eat out, shop, go to the movies, bowl, whatever. If your personal or religious beliefs do not include Christmas as a holiday, then use it as a free day to do nothing. If I could justify using the excuse of a Jewish or Muslim holiday to kick back for the day, I sure as heck would!

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Ice cream on Christmas in Pennsylvania, are you fucking kidding me? Maybe your predictions of zero customers will come through.

PucksRaven, I hope you told your friends C&T exactly what you wrote in the OP.

I pit Houston for being so warm at Christmas time. It just doesn’t feel like Christmas when you’re wearing shorts.

Although generally speaking, it is pretty nice when you can wear shorts in late December.

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Well, it’s a restaurant as much as its an Ice Cream place. They’re just famous for their deserts. We do a very good Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner business. I’ts not like a Dairy Queen or something, more like a slightly upper class sit down family restaurant. You’ve seen their Ice Cream brand in your supermarket I’m sure. We’ll call it “Comradely’s” or “Amicable-y’s”, for purposes of my pitting :slight_smile:

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I pit presents. This year the extended family collectively called off the already restricted gift-giving due to lack of money, and it was such a weight off everyone’s shoulders - financially and psychologically. You can look forward to seeing them without worrying about “But I haven’t bought anything yet!”

Take that, Commercialization! I spit upon your…your…glittery displays!

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I pit Auckland for not being warm enough, and for raining nonstop on my two days off before Christmas. It’s summer! Summer means going to the beach for Christmas Day and a barbecue on Boxing Day with friends and family. It means not sitting at the computer wearing fuzzy slippers and jeans and a skivvy like I’m doing right now! Goddam weather, I pit thee!

On the other hand, I take back every pit-like thing I ever thought about my boss, for removing all the Christmas cds from work, and playing some nice blues mixes instead.

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silenus My roommate and I had this problem. I like certain aspects of Christmas (family, baking, parties) more then her and she likes other aspects of Christmas (music, decorating the tree, wrapping) more then me. Generally we find common ground and agree to excell at our preferences. This year the addition of a third stressed out, anti Christmas roommate threw off the balance and left us snapping at each other about not being in the “spirit.” We finally had it out last weekend decorating the tree, agreed we didn’t need to be the exact same amount of excited about everything and all is calm again.

neuroman C&T expressed their reservations to mutual friends of ours, also invited to the party. We told them to pass on the message that just their presence is enough and if they don’t show up we will simply bring the party to them :stuck_out_tongue: Since the party is tonight and I have not received a cancellation call I am assuming they got the message and are taking it to heart.

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I hate drawing pins. I’ve had two in my left foot a one in my right knee already and I just know it’ll be even worse when the damn decorations come down.

I’m beginning to suspect that my wife uses me as some kind of drawing pin “mine field clearer”. I’ve noticed that I have to wander from room to room admiring her handy work - and “finding” stray pins - before she’ll even let the dog back in the house!

And before you ask, for reasons that I’m not entirely clear on, blu tack and cellotape are just not up to the job.

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Hey now! Eating Chinese food on Christmas is a grand and glorious Jewish tradition. I’m looking forward to it. Followed by going to the movies, of course.

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<hijack>
Sounds to me like a liquids issue rather than a temperature one. If you give this recipe another shot, dribble in a bit of extra milk, enough to make the dough very soft, then chill it and proceed.
</hijack>

I’ll be un-original and pit the never-ending barrage of “music”. “Deck the Halls”… the boy band version! “Deck the Halls”… the jazz version! “Deck the Halls”… the reggae version! Worse yet, the powers that be, having thoroughly ruined the familiar standards, are casting their nets ever wider in search of fresh material to corrupt… and they are taking obscure songs that I have long considered my particular provenance. Call me an elitist snob if you must, but I liked the medieval Spanish carol “Riu, Riu, Chiu” a lot more before it got sucked into the Modern Christmas Machine (heard it at a mall two years ago). And I really liked putting on a charming old tune like the Shetlands tune “Christmas Day In The Morning” precisely because it hadn’t been done to death.