“HOA from hell” is a large majority of HOAs. (Not my Vietnamese-American friend, Hoa. He’s cool.)
The large majority of HOAs are completely benign and just do things like pay to maintain the landscaping and the pool or whatever. The crazy ass ones that we hear about are the exceptions.
My wife worked 15 years for an HOA management company with at least a hundred client associations. Even the ones that were usually benign could suddenly flare up into nightmares, and there were plenty that were in nightmare status constantly. She wasn’t a manager, but he coworkers who were - half their job deemed to be corralling the psychotic inclinations of meddlesome board members.
I love my HOA. Since I bought my house in 2008 they have completely re-sided my house, replaced the deck, and done some repairs on my rook (including raccoon damage). They regularly power-wash the exterior, clean out my gutters, re-stain my deck, and do all my lawn work. The only complaint I’ve ever gotten was to clean up some stuff which I had let go, and they gave me plenty of time to do it. Well worth the monthly dues I pay.
This is what we encountered in our last (definitely last) HOA neighborhood. It wasn’t a high-end neighborhood - houses were in the low 100s, circa 2000-2004. It was a single street neighborhood, just 47 houses. But the members of the board wanted everyone to have putting-green lawns… in Florida… in a neighborhood backing wetlands. Sure, no danger of weeds there. 
They also passed a rule that no commercial vehicles were allowed overnight, which meant our neighbor had to buy white magnetic sheets to cover up the company name on his work van. WTF?? It was a standard size van that happened to be painted with a company name.
I always figured the board members were wanna-bes who were jealous of the higher-end neighborhoods or some crap like that. I was so glad when we sold that house and moved 800 miles away.
My inlaws dealt with a similar situation in their retirement community. New residents were lots younger with more disposable income and they pushed thru upgrades that raised everyone’s fees. Like they voted to heat the outdoor pool. Which led to solar panels on the roof of the community building to heat the water. Which led to structural issues and leaks in the community building - all of which had to be underwritten by the community.
My MIL is sure part of the problem were the men on the board who had been executives before retiring and they missed being in charge, so they took on these projects.
But, yeah, the horror stories are the ones you hear, not the good ones.
The ONLY HOA neighborhood I’ve ever lived in was perfectly fine. It was a subdivision that grew organically, not an Instant Subdivision 
(just add water!) The subdivision owned two plots on a small no-motors lake. Dues went to maintaining the plots, removing seaweed. No onerous “Your door can’t be that color” type crap.
I think the horrible HOAs stem from instant subdivisions. While the company is building the houses, they have rules like “no fences”, because they don’t’ want prospective buyers to see how small the plots are. They enforce cleanliness rules, grass length, etc. They may even set up a “starter” HOA where they run it, but have some homeowner seats. Once they’re done, they already have some of the stupid baked in. Once it’s up to the people,… well, who wants to run an HOA? Someone who has a strong viewpoint on … something, and damnit, they want it that way. It may be that they hate wooden fences, so you can’t put up a wooden fence. If you put up a shed, it makes THEIR lot look smaller, so no sheds. nevermind the temporary type.
That’s exactly how it was in my old neighborhood.
AIUI, while the builder is still actively adding to the development, they are the HOA. Once the development is complete, they hand over to the owners to form a real HOA. I assume the builders must run the elections.
My source is a good friend who does this work, so I acknowledge I could be wrong. This is MA.
And count me among those who will never, ever live in an HOA. I do not want anyone telling me how to use my property.
When I was house hunting it seemed like half the places I looked at had HOAs. Once I’d found a place I liked the first thing I did was ask to see a copy of the HOA rules, which I then read through to see how strict they were. Then I walked around the neighborhood and talked to a few of the residents to see what the HOA board was like. The place I ended up buying didn’t have any of that BS that I’d heard horror stories about, and the board didn’t have anyone who had delusions of godhood, so I decided to go ahead with it.
This was an area where the HOA originated with the developer who built the homes in the mid/late 80s, then turned it over to the residents at some point.
My neighborhood is a bunch of tract houses built through from 1960 to early 70s. I saw in the old paperwork that they had an HOA with a ten year term (or maybe they had to recertify after ten years). They elected a new board in 1970 and it looks like if fizzled by 1980 and no one bothered.
So, do you go around telling stories about your good HOA? I do think a lot of the reason that HOAs get a bad reputation is because you only hear about the BAD stories.
One friend of mine was absolutely pissed when she jumped through all of the hoops and her HOA still rejected her fence to keep her toddler from the retention pond. Another moved into an instant subdivision while it was still being built (30 years ago). Rule was no TV aerials or satellite dishes visible, and it was too new and spread out for Cable to come through. Granted, she survived, but it was a PITA. A couple of stories, and that’s about all I heard about HOAs, even though I have interacted with thousands of people at work, at home, etc. So, I’ve only heard bad things about HOAs, therefore HOAs are bad. I’ve got a gut feeling that a vast majority are OK, but because people only hear about the bad ones…
We had an excellent HOA for 11 years in our Anchorage condo. They followed the rules and were firm but not assholes about compliance. They had a ten year capital project plan and put money away for it. I’ve heard bad stories, of course.
As a matter of fact, just as I did here, whenever I hear stories about bad HOAs I try to make a point of mentioning how happy I am with my HOA, including that I made a point of checking it out before buying the house. I suspect that if more people made a point of doing so some of the bad HOAs would find themselves forced to mend their ways by residents who find themselves unable to sell their homes.
I ruefully lament my very high HOA fees from time to time but I also always point out that my HOA makes good use of them and I appreciate the work they do. They’re very on top of planning out preventative maintenance, upkeep and regularly scheduled repairs. The high fees are just the cost of doing business in my relatively expensive area. My step-brother who owned a place with a comparatively lousy HOA that didn’t take care of things has always praised this one as an example of an HOA that works properly (my parents lived in this one long before I moved in nearby).
We live in a log cabin on 15 wooded acres in a very rural area. No one can see our place from the road. I do whatever I want. I shoot a .50 BMG rifle in the backyard. Even built a barn and ran electric to it without taking out a permit. I love the freedom & independence it affords, and would hate it if anyone gave me shit about anything I do. An HOA, even a somewhat “benign” one, would be completely incompatible with my lifestyle.
Well that’s good because they don’t have them in very rural areas because there’d be no point. Obviously. Mostly they’re for shared maintenance and common areas like a pool or rec room or sewer.
The vast majority of lots of things - institutions, health care plan experiences, professions like law enforcement, physicians, lawyers etc. are OK or good. It’s natural that horror stories are played up, especially when regulators/institutions/professional organizations are failing to crack down on bad actors.
Exactly. My HOA dues are high (they were just increased to $305/month) but considering the services I receive and the work they’ve done on my house I consider it money well spent. Besides the cost of having my house completely re-sided, I was spared the hassle of finding a contractor. When the decision to replace the original wood siding with aluminum was being made all of the affected homeowners were invited to meetings to discuss the payment options (special assessment or dues increase) and we were given a wide choice of color options, with the only restriction (IIRC) was that no two adjoining units be the same color. As a bonus, the company doing the siding also gave me a discount on having my windows replaced with energy efficient ones (which I had ben thinking of having done).
I’m also spared the hassle of arranging for someone to maintain my front and back yards. The HOA has also paid for trimming and in some cases removing trees as part of the service. I recently put in a request to have part of my front porch railing repaired; again, not something I feel comfortable trying to do myself.