I was giggling all along, but I completely lost it at Hairy Security Biker Man and the Gay Narnia Tabernacle Choir.
Bravo, Master Wang-Ka. I suspect you’ve spent the entire time you’ve been missing from this board with stories building up inside you, screaming to be let out. Now that the dam has burst, we are blessed with the flood.
I have never wished for reddit style upvotes or facebook likes or Kinja stars… but man. I wish I had some right now.
Great story! Gay Narnia Tabernacle Choir is brilliant.
Glad to have you back.
Although, I would be curious to hear the various accounts of what happened next. A choose-your-own-adventure ending, if you will.
BRAVO! I do have to say that the ending was pretty much what I expected. I mean, how would you know what happened after they left. Now, please tell us about the fur-lined bird bath. I’m still trying to figure out how that works. Feel free to leave the hamster out of it.
He did. He substituted a gopher. Hopefully, not this one.
Anybody want to give a TLDR summary?
Why would you want a summary when you can read it yourself?? Kids these days - so lazy!!!
Hilarity ensued.
I find the prose annoying. After even a short part of the OP my eyes have already glazed over. If there is an amusing story there I was hoping someone would summarise. If not, no worries.
Next time just report it. That looks like junior modding and you managed to derail someone’s thread.
I will admit I have not read the entire story. However I did not agree with the reason given for the report. It happens, many times people report and we don’t see a reason to act. We would rather get the reports and not act on them than miss threads that need action. There is no need to discuss the report made and no further reason to interrupt the thread with anything else on the subject. Carry on.
Some things can’t be summarized.
WWI:
Archduke Ferdinand got shot. Then lots of people got killed. Then the Armistice was signed on Nov 11.
The end.
Writing one bad summary doesn’t prove that it’s impossible to write a good one.
“Memoirs of an amateur Porn Shop booth bouncer.”
… is this a trick question?
If you take requests, do one about the Spouse, the BBQ, and the Branding.
I’ll wait…
Ok, so I’m still waiting on the most credible witness’s version of what happened when Helen returned. por favor.
For someone who didn’t like the original story, yer sure impatient for a sequel.
Truth is, I wrote this tale several years back; the reason for the rapid transfer of chunks last night was simply due to cut and paste, with some judicious editing to ameliorate the raunchier bits to comply with SDMB policy, and tighten things up a little. The original draft is pretty stream of consciousness, and includes many details that do not advance the main thrust of the story.
So to speak.
So I will attempt to prompt to memory – and keyboard – the fragmented remains of thirty year old memories:
Pancho wasn’t gay, nor was he terribly interested in any form of sex not involving women. He was tolerant enough of others, but his main preoccupation was in surfing for crazy women in a sexually liberated atmosphere. So when a couple of women fled the premises in terror… and then, a while later, one of 'em comes back with a change of wardrobe and a sense of confidence… well, this was the sort of thing that would very much capture Pancho’s attention. And enthusiasm. And imagination.
Pancho told me that when Helen came back, she bought some tokens and headed into the back. This much is supported by the testimony of the masses.
Several people attempted to get the adjacent booth, but Pancho was able to beat them to it, and swiftly entered and secured the nest. He then proceeded to put on a show, being as this was what got the lady’s interest in the first place. This drove the lady in question mad with lust, whereupon she exited her booth, entered his, (possibly through the actual gloryhole) and proceeded to sex him to the point of death, ruthlessly and mercilessly. The term “cougar” was not in use at the time, but certainly, this was as savage an example as any porn shop has ever seen!
OK, Pancho is 1. Who’s 2?
An old flame and I used to visit a shop like this on Sunday mornings (he liked the idea of all those churchgoing folks praying for us I think) and, well, be a couple in a booth. I enjoyed it a lot and have been enjoying this saga greatly. Nice to have you back Mister Wang-Ka! Give us more versions of the end of the story, or else tales of what became of Winnie afterward, or anything at all. And as for those who didn’t enjoy the story, well, now they know to get the heck out of your threads (and good riddance).
Workin’ on it. Only so fast I can dredge up ancient wisdom from the dust within my withered skull…
