I am so borrowing this for my work status…
Ok, just one nit-pick about a possible anachronism:
Was the word MILF in use thirty years ago?
“The term itself was first documented in Internet newsgroups during the 1990s.”
Thank you! I am satisfied!
This story was one that was close to my heart. That’s what my husband did for a living when I met him, lo those many years ago in our misspent youth. He has a couple of great stories that are better told in person as neither of us has the skill to write as well as…well, this. They’re all along these lines, one involving a tiny Hispanic man and his poor, poor, toy poodle. Another is about the vacuum in the storage closet/bathroom. It was around the same time, early 90’s, so I recognized the setting well.
I feel better now that the tale has been completed!
Bravo!
I don’t blame you. I tried to skim for anything interesting, and ended up at the end with no understanding of what was happening or why.
For what it’s worth, I have heard the “no penthouse letter” rule mentioned multiple times and even have seen mod action (after the question having been put before them) indicating they weren’t going to allow any such postings. Although that was in IMHO.
Personally I don’t mind at all, but I totally expected a “reported” after the first few posts. Then again, I haven’t been here that long either. Give Flywheel a break and… eh, carry on.
You mean give Flywheel a brake, doncha?
::: Stands and claps:::::
Bravo!
So sorry for you both. What sort of things do you find humorous?
I take no responsibility for the attention span of the reader. I tells it like I saw it.
- MAD CHARLIE
Mad Charlie was strictly in it to get his flute played, and wasn’t picky about who was tootling. This may have been because Mad Charlie was one of the ugliest humans I’ve ever laid eyes on, sort of an intersection between a homeless guy, an escapee from the dungeons where dentists practice their early experiments, and the late cowboy actor Jack Elam, complete with eyeballs that almost never pointed the same direction except occasionally, and even then only by coincidence; it happened rarely enough that it was rather visually shocking when you saw him looking at something with both eyes. That, and his personality took some getting used to.
When you got past that, though, he wasn’t a bad fellow, and was a surprisingly nice guy, really. For some reason, he and Arthur were thick as thieves, and it was Arthur who filled me in on what Mad Charlie was up to that night:
After Helen collected her tokens and headed for #4, there was of course a bit of a mad scramble for #5. Mad Charlie won by virtue of rabbitpunching Pancho and literally leapfrogging over Jailbait Brian’s shoulders into the booth, spinning, and securing the door.
In the scramble, Helen, oblivious to any of this, had had time to have a seat, drop some tokens, and select a channel she found stimulating and appealing.
Now Mad Charlie was a regular, and had a firm grip on the protocols and procedures I only began to touch on back in the OP. He therefore ignored most of 'em, dropped trou, and put the square peg through the round hole, so to speak.
Helen, in the adjoining booth, had no grasp whatsoever on the protocols and procedures, and was therefore unprepared to see the Formica Cyclops erupt from the hole in the wall. She promptly panicked and smacked it with her purse.
Now, it seems Helen was one of those women who carries a complete makeup laboratory, twenty or thirty bucks worth of loose change, and perhaps one or two small anvils around with her at all times. This meant that Mad Charlie’s reaction was immediate, and loud enough to rattle the front display window in its frame.
Helen fled the store, and was never seen again.
Mad Charlie’s reaction to Arthur’s tale was, “…s’bullsh’t,” in a low voice, with none of his eyes pointed in my direction…
Quite possibly, nothing.
Master Wang Ka, if you had a patreon, I would totally fund it. What happened to the book?
I did pretty well with the book, but it is sadly no longer in print; the cost of copies outstretched the price I was willing to pay per copy. But it was nice to fulfill the dream for a while.
Hell, big chunks of it are readable here for free…
Or you could just get a blog.
Oh come on! Some (MANY) of us are enjoying this story and have enjoyed his stories in the past; but they are very few and far between. He hasn’t exactly been monopolizing the board for crying out loud.
No shit. I have genuinely enjoyed this thread and found myself absorbed in the story. Hilarious, by the way, and I have to work “Gay Narnia” into my vocabulary somehow! 
Instead of Mr. Tumnus, they have Mr. Tinkus!
Thank you for posting. I enjoyed the story. I haven’t laughed that hard in awhile.
I already believe Mad Charlie got wang-popped, but I’d be interested to hear any other accounts of the evening. This is good stuff.
Four huge bloated indulgent wall o’ text threads current in this forum, two in the Pit, no idea how many elsewhere. Blog.