Last summer we had wasps in our mail box. Building a nest.
me
It’s a trope on the “Pink Panther” theme song.
Sounds to me like you should lay off of the caffeine.
I got a call from “Revenue Canada” today saying that there is a lawsuit being filed against us, and if I don’t call them back at this 1-855 number, we will have warrants taken out for our arrest. You know that’s a scam, and I know that’s a scam, but can you imagine some 85 year old lady getting that message?!? She hears “lawsuit” and “arrest warrants,” and you know she’s going to go directly into panic mode. All these phone scammers need to FROADIAF. We have more than enough people on this planet; I’m willing to vote for the death penalty for scammers.
I got my very first wasp bite this summer - oh my fucking god, I did not know they hurt like that. If I got more than a couple at one time, I think you’d have to put me in a medically induced coma. And the abominable itching - wow! If I never get another wasp bite, it will be too soon.
God fucking dammit Microsoft, what did you do to your Outlook servers this weekend??? Is it because I still use a Hotmail address??? :mad: I had to remove and re-add the account on my desktop version of Outlook to make it synchronize properly, and I still can’t figure out how to delete messages off the server of the Roadrunner account I connected to the Hotmail account.
Good thing it didn’t sting you. That would have REALLY hurt… 
My computer went FUBAR this weekend and is in a state of perpetual rebooting. One of my friends who is in IT offered to have me over yesterday to fix it, but I told him I wanted to take a crack at it first, as I’d Googled potential solutions while at work.
Well, of course, now I think I only made it worse - can’t even get into the Windows “diagnostic” screen. Where it was probably salvageable before, I’m now not quite so sure there’s anything that can be done. (It told me to partition a drive, and various other things, and now I have no idea how to undo all that. The laptop was a gift / payment from a friend, so I didn’t necessarily get a state-of-the-art one, and so it makes searching for a solution more difficult.)
Meanwhile, I’ve probably increased the amount of work this friend anticipated, that he generously offered. Ugh.
Sometimes, I know just enough to be dangerous.
Agent: the problem with this book is that there isn’t enough history to be historical fiction, and there isn’t enough sex to be historical romance. So which do you want it to be?
Me: I can add more sex. That’s easy. Clearly it’s historical romance.
Agent: TOO BAD, HOMESKILLET, this ain’t no potboiler romance! We’re writing historical fiction here! Now go do more research!
Me: Yes, mistress, may I have some more?
I woke at 3 in the morning because of a nightmare involving undead turtles and sheep. I tried to run, but the undead sheep kept up with me, groaning and looking at me with their gray, dead eyes.
I have no explanation for this. I don’t usually have nightmares and I haven’t had contact with an animal in years and years.
Surely you were able to outrun the undead turtles though, right?
As I recall, the undead turtles weren’t really chasing me. They just stood still and glared at me as I ran past.
Weirdest nightmare I’ve ever had. It took me hours to accept that it was all just a dream.
Well, then the real problem is that your real life is clearly surreal.
Maybe they’re the turtles from a dream I had once. I came out of it with the thought; “While the turtles remain committed to the project, they are, of course, turtles, and do not demonstrate any enthusiasm for it.” I’m unclear as to what the project goals even were, or why turtles should have even been involved.
No, you’re not actually going to leave the country if (presidential candidate) wins. you just love telling people how you’re going to.
So you were Count Dracula’ing sheep?
The cunts that do this are really just stupid fucking cunts IRL. Also they’re training their children to be little stupid fucking cunts as well and that’s why we have this whole new generation of SJW cunts.
It annoys the shit out of me when people say this. I don’t care which candidate it is. I always say I plan to stay and work towards making my country better. I’m already active in local government. I know it sounds smug. Don’t care.
I love the way you assume it is just liberals saying this. Because this is literally a case of “Both sides do it.” I’ve heard plenty of conservatives saying it about Hillary and hard it back in 12 before Obama got reelected.
Do people who use the offensive term SJW hate social justice?