Hollywood has gotten it wrong once again

I saw a preview for a movie last night on TV. The movie’s title eludes me, which is a pity because it is high on my list of movies not to see. The tagline was something like “What does it take to eliminate police corruption?” And then the screen fades to a shot of ex-aikido instructor Steven Seagal pummelling a hapless member of the screen extras guild. I presume that the movie’s premise is that martial arts are an effective tool to eliminate the dishonesty that has taken root in some of our men (and women) in blue.

I believe that the correct way to combat police corruption is by citizen oversight committees, additional training in ethics in police academies, better supervision of police departments, “sting” operations to detect dishonest police officers, and possibly other practices that those better-versed in the subject than I could put forward. It is clear that violence is not the answer. A better movie would have been to see Mr. Seagal poring over police reports, starting a press campaign, and sacrificing hours of time travelling to different community groups and/or police training seminars discussing the harm to society and lack of faith in our institutions arising from the fraudulent practices of a few bad apples. The movie could end with a stirring speech by Mr. Seagal exhorting us to enforce moral values and teach them to our children.

I put it to the intelligent and academic minds of the SDMB. If you had a choice between those two movies (the Hollywood version - a mindless slugfest; or my revised version - a thoughtful examinations of the important issues), which would you go see? Please be honest. No sucking up. I can take the truth. I am confident that my cogent arguments will help you make the right choice.

Mmm. I think you may have overestimated the abilities of said Mr Seagal. Still, miracles can happen, I suppose.

Ah, yes…sure to be another Segal classic, we bring you Exit Wounds. Be sure to keep an eye on Segal’s partner, rapper-cum-actor, DMX. Does it GET any better?

How about after he pores over all the reports and figures out who the corrupt ones are, he kicks their asses in a flashy display of martial arts wizadry…then, as they’re laying in pathetic heaps on the floor, breathing their last few breaths, he extols the virtues of honesty? All while shirtless, of course.

That I’d go see.

I hate to be the ugly American or Doper or whatever, but when I go to the movies, chances are I’d rather see a steroid laden, ponytail wearin’, pretentious, cro-magnon whompin’ the snot out of a few punks, then see some poindexter reading a ream of regulations.
If every scene of Dirty Harry consisted of our intrepid inspector filling out police reports, I wouldn’t have felt too lucky, if you see what I mean.
Your version might sell as a book though. Get on the horn to Doubleday quick.

Serpico did it a little better than Seagal could I’m sure :slight_smile:

Let me take a wild guess at the plot of this new movie. He’s ex-CIA, now cop. Corruption is running rampant, he is ignoring it. Corruption causes harm to his family. Steve gets pissed. Single handedly saves the world. Just a WAG.

Based completely on the storylines offered I am going to go with Segal.

Though, of course, Arnold’s methods are to be preferred (for the most part, IMO citizen oversight committees cause as many problems as they solve and internal stings without evidence of specific corruption are a truly bad idea) in real life, I will take something with entertainment value (which Segal has, if he doesn’t speechify) over “The Formation of a New Committee”.

Now, with a top notch screenwriter and director there may be a good movie in there, but it would probably be overwhelmed by its inherent congratulatory self-importance (see A Gentleman’s Agreement for an example of this).

Given the choice, I’d stay home and watch Space Ghost. But that’s just me.

[slight hijack - okay, maybe a medium size hijack]This movie was shot in Calgary - if you look closely, you can see me waving to the helicopter that was shooting the action scenes on the bridge. No, wait, I was behind the helicopter. Well, imagine looking down from the bridge and imagine me waving to you. Hi there![/slight/medium sized hijack]

Unfortunately, Mr. Seagal can’t pronounce many of those fancy book learnin’ words.

Well, the good thing about sacrificing hours of time travelling is that you can always make it up later :slight_smile:

They tried to make a movie with balance in 1939: The Hunchback of Notre Dame. At the end of the movie, Maureen O’Hara’s character is aknowledged to have been saved by both Charles Laughton’s pouring molten lead on the mob, and Edmund O’Brian’s printed pamphlets. Do you remember the hot lead shooting out of the gargoyles’ mouths? Do you remember anything about 15th century printing processes.

And that was a great movie. What hope can there be for some piece of drek with Steven Segal? If Segal were to play Quasimodo and turn to a statue at the end of the movie and say “I wish that I were made of stone like thou,” we’d need a flashing title at the bottom of the screen to say “Steven is the one on the right”

Add Dana Carvey to either movie and I’ll be there in a second.

However, I prefer not to think while in a movie theater. It disrupts my making out session. :slight_smile:

I’ve seen the commercial a zillion times and I have to ask: is it just me, or does DMX look like a Blue Man in one of the shots?

Well I wouldn’t be so sure that it still won’t end this way. Anyone who’s seen On Deadly Ground (or was it Fire Down Below?) knows what I mean. He gave a speech at the end about protecting nature or something.

I think it was Fire Down Below. Something about oil drilling or mining. SS played environmental arse-kicker Jack Taggart.

The tagline? “Beneath a land of wealth and beauty hides a secret that could kill millions. Undercover has never run so deep.” Sounds good.

It was On Deadly Ground, actually. Bad guy was the oily Michael Caine. Said speech went on ad nauseum. Luckily, it was well after the movie had ended, and most of us either were gone or were happy to leave at that point. :smiley:


Jabootu’s Bad Movie Dimension (Devoted to the savoring of films at the very bottom of the Cinematic Bell Curve! All Hail Jabootu!) has an absolutely killer review of On Deadly Ground. At the bottom, you can read Mr. Segal’s entire speech.