Didn’t you realise when you brought this child into the world, that the day would come when he/she would eventually be given full ownership of his/her own body?
Guess what parents? This is the day.
Did you imagine it would be easy?
Did you imagine you would always agree with every choice? Of course you didn’t !
Can you spell Piercing?
Relax, it’s not like it was back in your day.
Don’t criticize what you don’t understand, your sons and your daughters are beyond your command…to paraphrase BD.
“Patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings.” Bob Dylan
Aha, I am an utterly normal 33 year old soccer mom with three kids, and I got a tatoo around my ankle for my 30th birthday, after wanting one for years. As Michelle said, probably 80-90% of my friends and aquaintances have one, and I really think the stigma that once attached to them is pretty much gone.
Of course, 18 years olds do tend to make impulsive decisions, and it may be that he will regret it later, which is kinda a bitch with something as permanent as a tatoo, but really, it’s not that big a deal, and I really do think you are over-reacting.
Well let me just chime in my “it’s no big deal” to everyone else’s. Aha, there are WAY worse things your son could have done. Ever hear the phrase “don’t sweat the small stuff”? Honestly, this is REALLY small stuff.
And just so you know from whom this opinion is coming, I’m a 38 (almost 39) year old, fairly straight-laced, non-tatooed female. I’ve met all kinds of people, from all walks of life (business executives to bikers) that have had tatoos and have never judged any of them based on the fact that they had one. And I’ve known just as many people who fall into the category of “those you’d expect to have tattoos” (serious, hard-core Harley riders) who wouldn’t dream of putting one on their body. It’s truly not a reflection of your social group anymore. And who really cares what someone else wants to do with their own skin?
I’d suggest that the next time you see your son you give him a big hug and tell him how proud you are of his ACCOMPLISHMENTS in life and how much you love him. Accept him for the PERSON that he is and not for his appearance. Remember, you are not always going to approve of all the choices he makes in life. But as long as he’s not hurting anyone with greed, bigotry, hatred, anger, etc., you should be proud of him and make sure he knows it.
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank
opalcat said
Wow but aren’t YOU a judgemental asshole! Why not just get rid of all forms of
personal expression? How about we adopt a “National Haircut” and “National Uniform”
and try to be as identical as possible?
Now Now Now Do we have a PMS problem here.
The Md was trying to impress me with his tattoo. I wasn’t buying it.
Do you have a Tattoo?
Do You think they are art.
I grew up in a generation of young adults trying to shed their parents ideology. You must understand that our parents just kicked the shit out of the world. Personal expression- What does it mean if you have a tattoo of a satanic fugure eating an angel.tattooed across your back.Hell you can’t even see it there.
Here on page 54 of my Fodor’s New York City Citypack Guide, under The East Village, it says:
The book is copyright 1996, 1997 the Automobile Association, so these trends should have branched beyond New York by this point and into your neighborhood. Still, YMMV.
SanibelMan - My Homepage
“All right. Have it your own way. Road to hell paved with unbought stuffed dogs. Not my fault.”
I have had my tattoo for 5 years now and still do not regret getting it. It is on the lower left side of my back and can only be seen when I’m wearing a bathing suit. I chose a tattoo that was appealing and had meaning to me and put it on my back so it could only be seen if I wanted it to be seen. I know that when I’m 70 years old it will look like shit (if it can be seen at all under my wrinkles) but who’s going to know it’s there unless I tell them. If my son or daughter grow up and decide they want one, they can have one. I will just tell them to pick something they can live with for the rest of their life and to be wise about where they put it. Yes, you can always have them removed but it is expensive, painful, and will leave a scar that will look worse than the tattoo.
My parents still do not know I have a tattoo and will never know unless I tell them. Be glad that your son was open enough to share it with you instead of trying to hide it from you.
He didn’t share it with me. I patted him on the arm last night and felt the clear plastic paper they evidently put around it until its dry. He had to fess up then…
And after I get over this I will be just as supportive for him as always…I just have to get used to the idea.
But this keeps running through my mind. The other night he said, “Dad I’m 18! I am my own man now, ok? so lighten up!” By the way could I have a few dollars? I am going into town."
When I was a kid I was mortified by the idea that somebody would recognize my behavior as the folly of youth. And yet, even self-consciously avoiding the pseudo-individualist trends among my peers and carefully guarding my sense of maturity, I did and said a lot of things that I now recognize as symptoms of teenage stupidity.
It’s not just that the signal-to-noise ratio in a kid’s brain is over the top, it’s that these kids perceive a clarity to their nonsense that does not exist. They are incapable of forseeing that in just a few years they’ll have a completely different view of the world – or, if they don’t they’re in worse shape than you imagined.
So, they wear atrocious haircuts and pay too much for clothing with stupid teenager written all over it. They write vaccuous poetry and manifestos and accuse their parents of being the ones who “don’t get it.” But all of this is fairly harmless. They grow out of it.
Unfortunately, teenagers, in their short-sightedness and self-assurance, occasionally make decisions with lasting consequences. If you were to compile a list of regrettable decisions your kid might make, I think you’ll find that you are lucky if all he did was get a tatoo.
If I’m qualified to give any advice at all, it’s this:
Don’t worry about it.
If it makes you feel any better, make fun of the kid. I make fun of my younger brother all the time. He got a tatoo of his girlfriend’s name on his chest when he was in highschool and guess what? Yep, he’s had it covered over with, of all things, a dolphin silhouette. I said to him, “Why would anyone get a dolphin tatoo unless he was trying to score with 13 year-old girls?” And who knows, it might do the kid some good. I believe that teasing the kid will be a lot more effective than yelling at him.
I’d cut off any allowance I was giving the kid. I’d tell the kid if he thought he was mature enough to make that kind of decision, he’s mature enough to start paying for it himself. A kid who wants to be treated like an adult has no idea what he’s asking. Learn 'em.
Excuse me, may I butt in here and add that this sort of attitude really pisses me off? I scored a 31 on my ACT, and I also have a big-ass tattoo on my upper arm, as well as a pierced nose. So fucking what? Do intelligence and straight-lacedness correlate? Not in this place and time. This isn’t Riverdale, and you can’t tell the geniuses from the morons just by looking at them.
Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh.
NTG, come on, read the rest of the thread, aha’s seen the error of her ways. Opal’s already flamed her for it. For the original opinion, not the changed view.
I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.
I guess the feeling could be compared to that, but I wouldn’t call it painful. More like a minor annoyance. The only really bad thing about it is the smell of your flesh burning away.
Unfortunately it absolutely does in some hiring and career building situations. Course you won’t get anyone in charge of hiring or promotions to admit it, but there are plenty of prejudices in the job market.
And I brought up the ACT on the way to making a point not to insult you. I am sure there are posters that have made higher than a 31 on their ACTs and DON"T have tattoos or nose rings. So that is neither here nor there. Nor did I mention it to raise another thread about correlations between being straight laced and intelligence.
Surgoshan…aha=male not female
But thanks for sticking up for me
I got my first tattoo over 10 years ago. I was WELL over 18 at the time, and married.
My mother totally wigged out anyway the first time she saw it.
And you know, it’s funny.
When my VERY straightlaced, prim and proper “perfect” sister got a tattoo on her arm some 4 years ago, mom didn’t bat an eye.
My sister screams preppy snot. She’s a school teacher. And she has a good sized setting sun and eye tattooed on her arm. You’d never know it was there. She’s not “the type.”
If it’s ugly, or impulse, your boy is going to regret it sooner or later. Having another tattoo to cover it that IS well thought out might solve the problem, and is infinitely cheaper than removal.
If my kid just came home with one, I’d probably wig out too … Dammit, I’m their mother. I want to be there with them!
One of the last times I got ink in Spokane, a mother and daughter came in. The girl had wanted ink for a while, and Mom finally caved and agreed to pay for it … IF she could go with her daughter and approve.
Mom ended up getting one to match. Neither could be seen when in normal clothing, since it was beneath the sock line.
In the meantime … time to cut the apron strings.
I just haven’t been the same since that house fell on my sister.
Well, I guess you can mark me down in the, “opinionated and pre-judging elitists,” column, right next to the opinionated folks who try to shout down and insult them what don’t hold their point of view.
For what it’s worth, when folks write stupid shit on toilet stalls with permanent markers we call it ‘vandalism’.
Dr. Watson
“The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.” – Oscar Wilde, 1893
Well, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that. Obviously it’s true that appearance is a highly unreliable indicator of people’s faculties, or even their personalities. But it is also a fact that a person’s appearance is a form of communication. Every `look’ has associations, positive and negative, of which the person was aware when the look was chosen. The problem arises when a person wearing the look accepts the positive associations and bitches about the negative ones. Such forms of self-expression have social consequences, and if you are not willing to accept them, then you should choose a look whose perceptions you’re comfortable with. It is irrational and egotistical for one to expect the world to change its opinions to suit one’s own kink. Now, of course, it takes a certain egotism to fly your freak flag. By all means, do so. As for myself, my individuality is something I value because I have made sacrifices and paid social consequences to maintain my integrity. When I let my colors unfurl, I don’t squawk if somebody calls me a freak.
A person who gets a tattoo knows what the social consequences are. Some people will call you stupid, for example, and that may indeed be an unfair prejudice. I myself assume that anyone I see wearing a Hooters t-shirt is missing certain faculties, though I know that this is an unfair prejudice as well.
Let she who is without thought crime throw the first stone.
In any case, because of the growing acceptance of tattoos and piercings, and because they are becomming more associated with young people than with the traditional sailors and bikers, it’s very complicated to make judgements about a person from tattoos. For example, tattoos no longer express disdain for the opinions of the squares. Almost nobody sees body art as a way burning bridges to square-John society. On the contrary, most seek acceptance by society.
But in the new world of body art, a few patterns emerge:
[ul][li]First of all, a person who gets into it almost has to be tollerant of others, because it attracts all kinds, from Nazis to wacked out Bhuddists. Tollerance is often a symptom of a higher intelligence, though it has also been known to arise from stupidity not very rarely.[/li][li]A crude home-made tattoo is a sign of low intelligence, possibly brought unnaturallylow through the use of inhalants. There is such a thing as an art of tattooing which tends to redeem some of its social consequences, but not for these people.[/li][li]Certain cliches that arise in tattoos indicate a lack of creative faculties in a person. These include red roses, evil clowns, skulls with snakes coming out of the eye sockets.[/li][li]A person with a tattoo of a trademarked cartoon character is most likely a moron. A tattoo of Yosimite Sam indicates a sub-moron.[/li][li]Subtlety and abstraction are favored by sharper minds. Gaudiness will tend to indicate a lesser mind.[/li][li]Celtic knotwork can go either way, because even though it may indicate an interest in the intricate artwork of an ancient people, quite often it indicates that the person is a `yuppie’ who shops at Structure and Pier 1 and who got the tattoo when knotwork was trendy in their set.[/ul][/li]
Now, come on, neuro-trash grrrl, don’t tell me you don’t have your own set of associations with different types of tattoos, and what they say about the person wearing them.
I have a question for the tattoo people. Why are they always green? I’ve seen tattoos that were other colors and they looked cool, but the vast majority seem to be green. Why?
The only green in any of my ink is in the leaves or as part of the pattern. All of the blackwork on mine is BLACK. The reds are red, the oranges orange … I sound like a box of Froot Loops. My husband’s tattoos are all black where they’re supposeed to be black.
Clarify, maybe?
I just haven’t been the same since that house fell on my sister.
