Found at Fark.com
This sounds like Manson all over again!
“Helzer, a former stockbroker who has already pleaded guilty and faces the death penalty, exerted a charismatic hold over an eclectic group of followers including his younger brother, a former girlfriend turned Playboy centrefold model, and a self-described “good witch” who once offered to raise money for Armageddon by appearing in porn films.”
When Armageddon comes, who’s gonna need money? Will they be charging for the premium seats?
I’ve been following this one a bit.
Will someone in the bay area tell me why this flambuoyant, lurid trial isn’t dominating the airwaves and that comparatively mild Scott Peterson case is?
[QUOTE=Jackmannii]
*…and a self-described “good witch” who once offered to raise money for Armageddon by appearing in porn films."*QUOTE]
The Bruce Willis flick?
Well, the pretty one didn’t actually die in this case…
Also, what about the sausage guy who killed the health inspectors?? That wasn’t your run-of-the-mill murder case either, but you don’t hear much about it.
I just want to add that when Armageddon comes, I definitely want to have an armored Hummvee, fully loaded, with about 2 months of food and water and a couple of high-caliber fully automatic assault weapons. Just in case. That stuff doesn’t come cheap you know. Especially 2 months worth of lobster, caviar and foie gras. 
Ok, I may have a sick sense of humor, but that really cracked me up.
The best puns are always those unintentional ones…hehe
That would be Stewart Alexander. He used to be my fucking landlord. The latest weird twist in this tale is that he gave his brother the security camera tape to sell to the media, to keep it away from the cops or some dumb shit. I don’t know why the hell Alexander thought that it would help his case at all, because it clearly shows him shooting the inspectors.
Two hotties, one of them in Playboy, the other wanting to do porn movies, a secret cult practicing magic, a plot to have Brazilian orrphans kill the elders of the Mormon church … what the hell? This trial oughtta be numero uno on everybody’s docket, and isntead this is the first I’ve heard of it. Our media is doing a very poor job of sensationalizing the news nowadays.
But there’s an obvious answer here … no celebrities involved, no hot-button political issues involved (the abortion issue is what drives the Peterson case).
That is some crazy stuff right there! Count me in on the “WhyTF isn’t this making big news?!”
It’s gotta be because of the religious slant to it all. Being that we are in a war, we (The Man) don’t want the news to give a bad impression of us all over the world that we have religious weeners on our side of the playground.
Oh, and it involved porn stars. Porn stars do not make good press.
But it is just to freaking bizarre to believe.
I think what’s driving the publicity on the Laci Peterson case is the seeming normality of the couple. A nice young couple, good family, baby on the way - and then hubby snaps and kills his wife (allegedly). There’s the appeal of thinking this could happen to anyone.
In the Helzer case, on the other hand, normality does not seem to be a factor.
Because these sensational events are distinctly cut and dried. Once reported the news is over.
The Peterson case however presents circumstantial evidence to overcome for both the prosecution and the defense. Many of us can’t make up our minds about this extremely stupid idiot who may have committed a murder that even Sherlock Holmes can’t solve considering the lack of hard physical evidence. Its a drama folks that still has no conclusion.
But when was it reported to begin with? It should have at least been a one-day national story at some point.
And cut-and-dried or not, it’s a juicy story: when you’ve got a Playboy centerfold, a “good witch” who wants to do porn films to bring about Armageddon, and beheadings and dismemberments, that’s news. It should have made the news at all the standard points: arrest, indictments, and trials. And sentencings, though they’re still ahead.
I still don’t ‘get’ why I’m supposed to care about the Petersons. Probably never will.
The Peterson case involves an unsolved murder, a far-from-cut-and-dried verdict, and lotsa sin and vice: mighod, if he’s guilty, he cut up his pregnant wife on Christmas Eve so he’d be free to carry on with that blonde tramp he was seeing!
Crazy porno religious people, on the other hand, who are clearly guilty as all hell, lack the “mystery” inherent in the Peterson case. Furthermore, the story is in some ways TOO lurid, and many papers feel they’d be cheapening their image by gleefully reporting all the details. It’s too “National Enquirer,” you know?
In the case of the Sausage King, it’s open-and-shut. Businessman goes apeshit and murders some meat inspectors for “hounding” him about his business. Normal guy goes unhinged, murders some other guys, on-camera. Worth a few columns and a picture, but why bother? Too trashy. No mystery. No sin. Pffft…
Wow, does that creep anyone else out? I can picture the vacant gleam in her lovely (hang on, let me check my back issues… brown!) brown eyes and everything. That kind of charisma is scary as hell, and I feel like the phrases “fell into the wrong hands” or “used his powers for evil” just don’t cover this kind of bizarre situation.
Now, I don’t want to imply that Playboy’s models are impressionable or easily manipulated into doing things that other less-impressionable people wouldn’t… so I’ll just come right out and say it. Playboy’s models are pretty impressionable. Or at the very least, they can be convinced to do things that other less-impressionable people wouldn’t[sup]1[/sup].
1 - This is not to say that I wouldn’t happily appear nude in a magazine for a sizeable sum.
Several dopers have pointed out good reasons as to why this case isn’t receiving a whole lot of attention. However,
a) The Laci Peterson case is fuck-all boring, and I can’t understand why it gets so much airtime. Then again, I don’t understand a lot of the things that appear to captivate the unwashed masses.
b) There is still plenty of good material in the bizarro cult story, but any pieces done now would have to be heavily analytical ones oriented around “why” and “how.” It still should have received good arrest and trial coverage, as RTFirefly pointed out.
c) I am a sick, twisted snob, and I love it.
The Petersen case is famous because Laci Petersen’s family made a huge media push to find her, and to find her killer. Being constantly available to reporters will get you reported on. The case is still heavily reported because it’s famous, even though the reasons for its fame have dwindled away. That, and we still don’t know exactly what happened, and the case was brought to trial quite quickly
In the Helzer case, I guess Elvin Bishop just didn’t kick up enough fuss. Here’s a report from four years ago: http://www.cnn.com/2000/US/08/09/crime.bishop.reut/ Before her body was found, some suspected Selina Bishop of killing her mother and her mother’s SO. Afterward, suspicion fell on Helzer, and all of the killings were linked. The case is old, the story is clear, and there’s not much to say (especially since the leader of the group pleaded guilty – no trial).
I just have to say I think this thread may have the Best. Title. Ever.
I mean, add in some live chickens and some whipped cream and we’ve got a party!
Not if you came in here hoping to see boobies.
