What did I do?
Recently, as you’d know if you hung on every one of my words, you would know that I’ve taken a job running a department of a nursing home. So, I go into this facility that’s relatively close to my house today. A guy and I are walking down the hallway, talking about stuff, when it happens.
A resident walks out. She’s gotta be about 655437859432 years old (definite hyperbole. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say about 80). Anywhoot, she walks out butt-ass naked.
I saw them. Octogenerian titties. Oh, sweet mercy. The other guy and I looked into a room and kinda…looked at the wall, pretending that we didn’t see what we both know damned well that we saw clear as day.
What did I do to you, titties? Why did I get this vulgar display of “cleavage”?
Did I not pay more attention to you? I pay plenty to you and your kind right now as it is. Did I not nestle enough of your kind? Why would you betray me? Should I pay more attention to your sisters? Less attention? GIVE ME A SIGN!!..or two…
You jiggle. I watch. You jiggle more. I keep watching. You sit there. I watch, slackjawed in your glory (sometimes).
What did I do to you, titties?
why, titties, why?