Wow.
Seaworthy… wow.
You are an asset to this message board.
It is my pleasure to announce the creation of a new spirit- Seaworthy’s Piss Ale™. Because I understand the Doper’s discerning tastes, I used only the finest ingredients:
2 cups* of seaworthy’s urine
1/2 cup warm water
1/2 cup sugar
2 oz. active dry yeast
Brewing is underway, and I will be checking its progress as the weekend progresses. Hopefully, by Monday, we will find out what happens when you ferment your own piss into alcohol. I’ll keep you updated.
*amount of urine is approximate because I couldn’t bring myself to piss in the measuring cup.
Semi Hijack-
What about blood? I’d think it would contain more sugar.
Odinoneyed Freyr
I’m sure you know what Odin did with Kvasir’s blood. Could we denizens of Midgard perform a similar feat?
Heh, the ultimate Bloody Mary! 
I’m not doing blood. I don’t want to bleed for science. But the urine is fermenting quite well. It’s not bubbling as much as it was last night, when it was in danger of bubbling out of the bottle (luckily, I had stretched a balloon over the neck so that the gas had somewhere to go but the brew couldn’t be contaminated by mold or bacteria) but it’s still bubbling. It’s kind of a pale yellowish beige color, and doesn’t smell like piss at all- just yeast. I think I might know someone who will drink it, so we’ll find out if it’s any good. I’m starting to think the alcohol and yeasty taste will kill the urine taste.
Holy fucking mother of god. :eek:
Urine And Alcohol
I admit that I only read this in a work of fiction. However, considering such documented behaviors as drinking aerosol propellant mixed with water, a number of recovering alcoholics who have told me that they while homeless during the winter they literally sold their coats to buy booze, I have no doubt it;s done.
A young woman who has taken to drinking constantly in order to avoid dealing with the fact that she was raped, has spent the night in the infested slum apartment of a woman who’s been a practicing alcoholic for several decades. She wakes up and asks her host how she’s doing.
‘I’ll be allright innaminnit. I just need a little drink to get the motor going.’
‘But, there’s none left. We drank it all last night.’
‘Well, see, I got this thing, this metal pot. Before I go to sleep I piss in this pot. By morning most of pee has settled to the bottom and the booze is on top. It’s not much booze, just enough to get the motor going. I use a straw, so I don’t drink too much pee. It’s not as bad as you think.’
The young woman thinks ‘No, don’t look away. How many years until you have a pot and a straw? When you will be drinking your own urine? When will it not be as bad as you think? Make no mistake, it will come to this.’
At that moment she takes step 1 and rushes off to check herself into detox.
All right, it’s stopped fermenting. This could be for 2 reasons- either the yeast used up all the sugar, or the yeast produced so much alcohol that they killed themselves (I think yeast can only stand like 13% alcohol or something- anything stronger than that has to be distilled).
So that means, it is ready for someone to try it, if I can convince them. Luckily, last night the guy I think will do this if he’s drunk enough came back into town, so we might find out what it tastes like.
It’s still piss colored, now that the yeast have all settled to the bottom it’s not beige anymore. Hang on, I’m going to go smell it. Wow it smells like beer, no piss smell at all. I could probably get someone to drink it and they’d never know. Hmmm…
Make sure that you save some for Cecil. 
:smack: D’oh! What have I started?!
Seaworthy, there’s enough beer on the market already that tastes like piss!
But if you get a contract from a major brewer for this, I demand a cut for creative inspiration.
And nobody’d ask you to. But pig’s blood. You can use pig’s blood, straight from your friendly neighborhood butcher.
I’d do it myself, but I like the necassary equipment and funds to buy said equipment. I think. Not sure what is required for such a project.
BTW Seaworthy, I love you and want to bear your children
I remember seeing something very similar to this happen on one of those crime investigation shows – either Law and Order (or one of its spinoffs) or CSI … but I think it was L&O. They needed to gather evidence on a student at a high school who had committed some crime.
They knew the perpetrator of the crime had diabetes (he left some fluid evidence at the scene, IIRC), but they didn’t know if the boy they suspected of the crime was diabetic.
Unfortunately, they hadn’t enough evidence to compel a blood sample or get his medical records or anything direct like that. But the suspect was on a sports team, so they had the school administration give the sports team a “random” urine test for drugs.
Of course, one of the drugs the school tested for was alcohol, and yessir, one of the samples they received had ethyl alcohol in it. But, as the lab tech explained, they always tested for yeast and sugar in the urine when they got a positive for alcohol, because an infected diabetic could have his or her urine ferment until it gave a false positive for alcohol consumption.
Sure enough, it turned out he had massive levels of sugar in his urine, proving the alcohol was from fermentation in the bladder, not from drinking. And, lo and behold, the alcohol-containing sample was from the kid they had suspected all along.
Bingo! They had proof of his diabetes and arrested him. (Or maybe he was just an accomplice or witness to a crime and they just pressured him to give up the real perpetrator. I don’t recall. But I’m sure somebody else will remember the show and episode that I’m talking about and enlighten us!)
OK that was probably the most disgusting thing I have ever done, but I just tasted it. I think the only reason I am not puking right now is that it tasted like cheap beer. I always thought it was funny when people said this beer tastes like piss, but now I think they’re right. Of course, it makes me wonder how they know what piss tastes like. But I could put it in a beer bottle and put it in the fridge, and someone would drink it without even knowing it was piss.
I am trying really hard not to think about what I just did.
Well I’m flattered, but I don’t think I have quite the right parts to father children.
Remind me not to drink anything from your refrigerator!
But seriously, I don’t think there’s any danger in drinking that stuff since the alcohol should have killed off all the bacteria. But IANAD so could be wrong. Isn’t it funny though how the “ick” factor works - sometimes it has nothing to do whatsoever with what’s actually safe to consume.
So what is the voltage (alc content) of this ekhm beverage? 2%? 5%? 10%?
seaworthy . . . You are the coolest person I’ve ever seen. To pee in a cup, ferment it, and then drink it . . . damn.
Then again, my social group is a bunch of people who dare each other to each/drink the nastiest stuff we can make. Needless to say, no one’s ever drunk fermented urine.
All in the name of science.
I’m not sure, and I don’t know how to measure that. I think an alcohol content of 13% or higher will kill yeast, anything stronger than that has to be distilled. I dunno, Steel Reserve is 8.1% alcohol, and it wasn’t that strong. Mind you, I only stuck my finger in it and put that on my tongue, I didn’t actually take a gulp, that was a little more than I could bear.