Hi Guys.
We are considering home schooling for our children (currently 8, 3 and 6 mos.). I am curious if any of you have done this and what you have learned about it. Also, if you don’t do this for a reason I would also like to hear why. Since we are unsure wether we should I was hoping to get some input on any issues that we might not have considered. Thanks for any thoughts you want to share.
John
One of the things that I worry about homeschooling is socialization. I think that learning to get along with all kinds of people, and participating in sports and other extracurricular activities are very important to the social well-being of a child.
It’s also very important to me that my children can go to any college that they wish. Getting accepted is sometimes not easy, and perhaps would be even harder if your child was homeschooled. This is just a wag, so be sure to check it out when making your decision.
There are countless reasons to homeschool and countless to not, so it really depends upon what your goals are for your children.
trisha
I don’t have any direct experience with homeschooling. I don’t even have kids, so this is not exactly an expert opinion. That said, I’ve had friends who homeschooled their kids, and it’s a damn hard job. They didn’t do it very well. In fact, they had a nine year old who couldn’t read. “He’ll learn when he’s ready.” was their standard excuse. As far as I’m concerned, that’s child abuse.
Yes, I realize that schools today are not perfect. Not all teachers are excellent, and some schools are better than others. Unless the schools in your area are extremely below grade, I’d say send 'em there. It’s one thing to think about homeschooling; it’s another thing to actually do it.
I’ve met a few families that homeschool, and they tend to do really, really great jobs or really, really shitty jobs. It takes an incredible amount of discipline and commitment to make it work.
Have you checked to see if there are any homeschooling groups in your area? They could probably give you info on what resources are available and what the legal requirements in your state are. Plus, they do neat things like go on field trips and arrange for group tutoring, such as for foreign languages.
You’ll also have to consider if you and your spouse have the expertise to instruct an older child. If you’re not so good at say math, it’s going to get pretty ugly when it’s time for algebra.
Socialization can be a problem, but the sucessful homeschoolers I’ve known have made it a point to get their child active in scouts, sports leagues and church youth groups.
College could be a problem, but the homeschoolers I knew in high school got into decent schools with a GED and SAT scores. Havard might be a little pickier. Also, I can see a shy teen having trouble adjusting to campus life, although that could happen to a regularly schooled teen as well.
Best of luck to you!
I WAS homeschooled for a little while, and I have decided not to do it. My grandmother never followed through all the way, and I wound up not getting what I could have had from it. I personally know that I don’t have the energy, time, or will to make that commitment. It’s a big one. You are committing to be responsible for your child’s education - this means planning, preparing, AND execution. It means you will spend long days making sure your children learn the things they need to know, and making sure they do their ‘homework’.
It’s too much of a pain for me.
-Elthia
My sister-in-law home schools her five children and she has been incredibly successful. However, she has to prepare five lesson plans because none of them learns at the same rate or the same way or like a previous child. So her instruction is tailored to each child so that each child is excelling. A serious disadvantage of public schools is that they don’t have the time or resources to focus on each child. If one is falling behind because it takes them longer to grasp a concept, they fall behind.
She is VERY serious about school. The kids wear school clothes and they have dedicated one room in the house just for school. The perception is that your mom will be easier on you, and that is something that you would have to work at.
She buys books through the school district (I think) or through home-school collectives. She had been purchasing lesson plans but I think she stopped. Definitely find the home school association for your state. All states allow home schooling, but the education requirements will vary.
The two oldest girls play on a home school soccer team. They have field trips. There is plenty of socialization. In fact, the kids are more comfortable with people of a variety of ages then most students. The kids go from age 13 to 4, so there is much more variety in their classroom.
If you are concerned about your child not getting an education that fits them in a public school, look into Montessori. We will be sending our son to one in the fall. The focus is on learning by doing, which allows several “subjects” to combine as they do in the real world. They also let the child work at their pace. I’m simplifying, you would need to look at schools and talk to people.
Oh, and Harvard has admitted several home schoolers so far.
So, in summary: it will be a lot of work; done well your child will recieve the best education; don’t worry about getting into college; their are plenty of opportunities for your children to experience group activities.
I know a couple of home-schooled kids. Nice and smart, but they lack the social skills that one would learn at public schools. I would suggest that you send your children to school and see how it works. It really will help them in their futures. And please please please send them to a public high school. they will learn valuable life lessons. The children I know are facing high school at home, and are dreading every minute of it.
The other criticism I’ve heard about home schooling is that many parents are uncomfortable with science subjects, and thus, do not teach them, or teach them poorly.
Considering all the people who believe astrology, homeopathy, Uri Geller, and X-Files, we need way MORE science education in this country, not less.
And considering the high tech explosion: kids who don’t learn science are going to be the janitors for the kids who do learn science. Do you want your kid to be a retired billionaire by age 35 or not?
Of course, in some states[1], home schooling is the only hope some kids will ever have of learning science.
[1] LIKE KANSAS.
When they say it takes a lot of discipline they’re right.
I have been home schooled at various times and basically I was left to my own devices. I haven’t finished any homeschooling I ever started so you have to make sure their doing their work.
It works for some people so look into your options and what you can do. (There also is Cyber Schools where you log on-line and do your work that way some you can do from home others you go to a preset building and have comps there and other people to interact with)
Meet the expert. <g>
I was homeschooled from preschool through twelfth grade. I started junior college last fall. Looking back, I am very happy that my parents made the decision to keep me home. There are a few changes I would make, though. One of these is socialization. I was a shy kid, and being homeschooled, I didn’t have much opportunity to have contact with my peers. This was both good and bad; I never experienced peer pressure, but I also never had a bunch of good friends I saw every day. I think it’s a good idea to get kids into some activities outside the home, like sports or art classes, just so they can learn to deal with other kids.
Another change I would make is math. I was always a grade level behind in math, and am just now catching up. The one thing I would recommend for this situation is Kumon, the ultimate math program. I wish I had started Kumon when I was six. I started when I was seventeen, and it’s been helping me immensely. I’m around the middle of level E now. More information at http://www.kumon.com Kumon is great for non-homeschoolers as well.
For school, my schedule was pretty simple. I just read whatever I wanted. I liked nonfiction as well as fiction, so I taught myself a lot about history and science. My parents took me to the library often, and helped me pick out books. I doubt this would work for every kid; I was kind of odd. This also led to an unbalanced base of knowledge–as I have said, I always scored a grade level behind in math on the annual tests, but always scored about five levels ahead in everything else.
I was very, very worried about starting college last year, since I had had no experience in a classroom, doing structured assignments (I’d never written an essay), and dealing with my peers. But I’m doing pretty good, now in my third quarter, maintaining a 3.9 gpa, and having lots of fun. I’m planning to transfer to Stanford, Berkeley or Caltech next year, and major in molecular biology. I think things turned out pretty well.
Oh, and Karen, you’re right about astrology, homeopathy, and Uri Geller, but I think if you looked at homeschooled kids and public schooled kids, you’d find the same level of belief rates. The overall quality of science education is pretty dismal.
I’m a skeptic, by the way. Carl Sagan and CSICOP are my heroes <g>.
The three things I’d recommend to prospective homeschoolers:
Socialization
Lots of Reading, geared towards the kids interests.
Math (Kumon especially)
{begin Shirley’s daily ramble]
Two of my cousins have homeschooled their kids. Both have done really well.
#1 cousin has five boys. They are expecting a 6th boy this summer. Ages 11-2years. Goes with out saying, they are really good catholics. I’ve always wanted to ask them exactly why they chose home schooling, but we don’t see each other very much and when we do, it’s time to play catch up.
However, the mom and dad are both from large families and she was working on her masters in education, I think. Those boys are extraordinarily well behaved and very focused. The two oldest are now in a charter school, which I would love to know why they picked that as I know dick about charter schools.
Family #2 homeschooled her kids because of moving around so much in the Marines. The two older ones were HS’d until 9th grade, respectively, and then put in public school. They had alot of socialization on the base, so that wasn’t a problem and these kids have more confidence than me. The middle child, a boy, is extremely smart and articulate. Getting spectatular grades in school. Older boy is, apparently to the family gossip mill, dumber than a box of rocks in book work and he graduates this month. ( I think this is an unfair and refuse to believe it until I see him again.) The baby, who is 11, was diagnosed as being several dyslexic and it was recommended by the professionals for her to be homeschooled because of the one on one attention.
Last winter I ran into an old friend who when I last saw them, had one infant daughter. They now have four kids ( two of each) and the oldest is 13. Somewhere in the middle of conversation it dawned on me that this kid is home schooled. Not because of anything that I noticed lacking, but the fact that she was so well spoken, well read and many other superlatives. Her parents are really into their religion ( whatever it is) and they are very active in their church group.
I can pick out a home schooler like [snaps fingers] that in a conversation. They have lots of confidence, however, they are constantly praised by mommy and daddy and in the real world, that ain’t gonna happen. The sheltering thing is what worries me.
Hubby and I talked briefly about home schooling before we had kids.(For the newbies, we have two, a two year old and 3 month old.)And we are about as religious as a dead squirrel. It was pooh poohed by me as I can barely follow a cooking recipe, much less cover a weekly lesson plan on
“Creationism VS Other Stuff vs We are really just here to carry out alien experimentation.” ( I would definately have a hard time keeping sarcasm out of my lesson plan.) I know and celebrate my weaknesses. ( or should I say, I relish and mustard my character flaws.)–all this before coffee, folks.)
The more I think about it the more I am leaning towards
" After Schooling." Helping the kids with reviewing what they learned and enhance it more on whatever angle I possibly can. (“Look kids, here is a sock puppet of a penis and another one of a vagina…”)
Considering I am paying taxes for my schools, I might as well utilize the education and supplement where I may if I feel it is lacking.
After attending a private catholic school for 12 years, I think public schools really offer alot more.Any place with no nuns is a-ok by me. This is very critical, so pay attention! * The schools will teach our kids to stop, drop,and roll. It is up to the parents to teach them to re-load. *
( For those of you who are sarcasm impaired 
)
[/end Shirley’s daily blathering.]
Time for coffee.
oh, and one more thought that I think makes sense. ( Just read it somewhere the other day.)
You cannot protect your child from everything ( Hanson is everywhere.) and they are going to learn from everyone they meet. Good things as well as bad things. Every epxerience we go through shapes our character and ( I am a firm beleiver in this) everything happens for a reason. It is up to the parent to help them to know how to handle the information they receive and how to react upon it.
I’ll shut up now.
May I add that Kiva’s (homeschooled) reply was more cogent and more clearly worded than most of the responses on any of the week-long take home exams that I graded last semester? Indeed, many of the posters here might work to emulate his/her thoughtfulness (and syntax).
Kiva, when you are thinking about grad school, and when you have realized that Psychology (not microbiology – my brother is a microbiologist!) is really your career goal 
, please let me know!
Eissclam.
Both my sister and half-brother were home-schooled for a portion of thier academic program.
Sister: HS’d from grades 10-12. Went to college, eventually earned M.S. in education. Taught high-scool English and Spanish (her minor). Quit work when she and her husband started raising kids. The most sensible person I’ve even known.
Half-brother: HS’d from about grades 5-8. Went to private and public high-school thereafter. Expelled from two, did not graduate. Trouble with pot and “the wrong crowd.” Is now in the Marines getting his life on track.
Make what you will of that. What I make of it is that individual dynamics can swamp any statistical presentation or eventual expectation based on a general concept of home-schooling.
Personally, I would either home-school my kid, or send
him/her to a religious-based Private school that I was familar with. No way, no how would I send a child into today’s Public schools.
I know several families who home schooled. One home schooled till the kids were in middle school. Nice kids, smart, well-behaved, socially adept.
Then there is my ex-sister-in-law (stewardess with an elementary ed degree). She home schools her son–I think in an attempt to make sure he remains attached to her. He is now in 9th grade–can barely read, can’t get along with other kids, and is such a creep I warn my daughter not to ever be alone with him (she’s a year older). I don’t know if it’s the home schooling or the genetics as both his parents are absolute idiots. They are also religious nuts–they actually believe that not only did God create the world in 7 days–but that there is a world wide conspiracy to promote evolution and that dinosaur bones are all phony and part of the scheme to fool people. Oh, yeah, and women should stay home and raise the children.
Public schools can be good or bad. Find an elementary school that emphasizes phonics and some rote learning of basic math and your kid will probably do ok in higher math and reading/literature. High school–well, at least they have different teachers for each subject. My kid’s english teacher last year was fantastic. This year (10th grade) her English teacher pronounces benevolent as bena-VO-lent, pentameter as pent-a ME ter, and couldn’t tell a student the difference between a independent phrase and an independent clause. Sheesh! We’ll be going to the Superintendent of Schools after the year ends to complain about this dim-wit.
Thank you all for your input. This has been very helpful. A couple of thoughts:
We also are concerned about socialization. But our town has a good athletic program and our oldest is already a scout. We recognize that we would need to mke an effort to keep him around groups of kids his age and are willing to make sure he participates in group activities that interest him. Also, sending kids to public schools does not guarantee they will have social skills. I attended public schools and consider myself somewhat socially challenged.
We had not even considered getting into college. I just assumed there would be no bias against home schooled children provided they can demonstrate they are qualified to attend. But this is worth looking into.
Karen Too- both my wife and I are comfortable teaching science. We both have MS degrees in biological fields. I am honestly more concerned about teaching grammar. It has been a long time since I diagrammed a sentence.
Kiva- thanks for sharing your experience. It sounds like home schooling worked for you. Good luck to you wherever you transfer. And stick with Molecular Biology regardless of what some other posters might suggest.
Shirley-the sheltering issue is a big concern. As a parent I would like to protect my children from all harm that might come their way. This would be easier if they spend more time home and less in a public school. But I agree that one cannot protect children from everything forever. So is it a disservice to shelter them when they are young only to have them experience bad things later in life? Or will they be better prepared for these events when they are older and hopefully more mature? I will need to think more on this issue especially.
Let me explain our situation a little so you can have a little better idea where I am coming from. Our oldest son is 8 and in second grade. He seems to be bored in school. He is ahead of his classmates in reading and math. He very much enjoys reading and seems eager to learn. The school stopped teaching phonics about 4 years ago and the most recent standardized tests show that as many as 50% of students do not meet the minimum standards for reading. (the school board has the nerve to brag about the 50% who do) We do not want him to lose his interest in learning. There are also safety considerations. Two years ago a fourth grader brought a gun to school. It is easy to say that you can’t protect your child from everything, But I want my child to come home at the end of the day. So we are considering home schooling at least until he would attend high school. We feel that we could cover the same material in the school curriculum in less time since we would not need to do the administrative things a school does. Our child would then have more time to read and learn about other topics as well as visit educational/cultural institutions like museums.
But it is a very big commitment from both of us. Especially from my wife since she would be spending her days at home with the boys. Not a descisin to be made lightly.
Thank you all again for your responses. I have more to think about now.
John
Wow, high praise. I’m blushing.
Psychology, though, just isn’t for me (although I’m very interested in it). I’m rather obsessed with viral pathology right now. It’s fascinating stuff. I’ll probably change my major ten times in the next four years, so who knows. All I can say right now is that I definitely want to be a scientist.
Sarah