Homeless Guy On I-23.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

3 days out of 5 when I take my exit off the freeway to go home, there is someone standing there with a sign begging for money. I ran into plenty of homeless people when I lived on campus, but I could give them a dollar or something and feel okay about it.

Anyways, this guy has a sign that says,
‘‘HOMELESS SOBER NEED WORK OR FOOD PLEASE HELP.’’

Usually I kick myself that there’s not a drive-thru nearby where I could give the guy a hot meal. Usually acknowledging that fact is enough to assuage my guilt. I think to myself, ‘‘I’ll try to remember next time to stop somewhere before I take this exit.’’ Today this was not sufficient. Today the car in front of me stopped and handed the dude a brown paper bag of food It was pouring down rain. The weather here is abysmal–just absolutely miserable. Nobody in their right mind would be standing on the interstate begging for help unless they really, seriously needed it.

So I did the naturally mature thing. I bawled all the way home. I thought about taking some money out of my savings account, like $50 or so, but I have a bunch of medical expenses coming up in December and I would hate to be kicking myself when I’m out $50. I thought about inviting the guy to Thanksgiving, but we’re having Thanksgiving elsewhere and it’s not my place to do that. I don’t have any work to give him – what? We live in a one bedroom apartment, it’s not like I could pay him to do landscaping or something.

I just don’t know what to do. So I just came home and cried to my husband about it. I’m so pissed because we have so much, but I always feel so inadequate in situations like that. I dream of a day where I could just hand someone my paycheck and say ‘‘here, go make a rent security deposit and get back on your feet.’’

I can’t figure out if I’m being realistic about my financial situation, or secretly lazy and apathetic. I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful in my life about what I have than this Thanksgiving. You know, in the past I might say, ‘‘I’m so grateful for how well we’re doing’’ but this little ghost in my head would add, even though we have less than others. This year I just feel ridiculous levels of gratitude, without the spiteful little mental ghost.

I am an emotional person, but I don’t lose control, I don’t break down and cry, I am not that kind of person, so it was weird that something like that would literally have me sobbing in my husband’s arms. I just wish I could do more. I guess it’s good motivation for deciding on a career track and going to grad school, so I know I’m going to have money to put to good use.

And you know what, I don’t care if I could give the guy $1000 and he’d go and blow it all on booze. I really could give a shit less. What matters is that I was able to give that opportunity, it’s the act of giving that means the most to me. That sounds so ridiculously cheesy, but well, fuck it, I’m a cheesy person.

Sorry, this is kind of pointless (YAY! SO appropriate!) I just wonder if others deal with this sort of internal struggle as well.

2

Nope, it doesn’t matter what their sign says, chances are they make more money than I do by begging when you consider taxes. Sure there’s ones that are honest and really need food and work but they are outnumbered sightings-wise because once they clean up and get a job or get enough money for that day they no longer beg.

3

Don be so gullible:
For a while, I saw a guy holding a “Vietnam Vet–Will work for food” sign every day. He always stood at the same spot–on the sidewalk outside a McDonalds with a big “now hiring” sign in the window.
So apparently this guy is willing to work for food, but not for 6 dollars an hour.

4

I used to drive to work in the mornings, and I often passed a bedraggled-looking guy on a street corner who held up a sign that said HOMELESS DISSABLED (sic) WILL WORK FOR FOOD. One day I stopped off at a little mom & pop diner and got a nice chicken-fried steak with gravy, mashed potatoes and all the fixin’s, a cup of coffee, a slice of apple pie, and some plastic utensils, all packaged up in to-go boxes and loaded into a paper sack. I pulled over and gave it to the man. He opened the sack and saw that all it contained was food. He threw the food against my car and let out a string of obscenities, ending with “If you are too goddamn cheap to give me any money, don’t waste my time.” As I cleaned the mashed potatoes and apple pie off my fender that evening, I felt sad and angry, but mostly sad.

5

olives, I’ve thought the same thing. The line between most of us and being homeless isn’t that pronounced. Take care of yourself and get comfortable, then return the favor when you can. There’s only so much that the average person can do. Just remember to do it when you can do it.

6

I hate the argument that the homeless could ‘just go get a job’. Not sure how it works in the States, but I’m sure it’s similar to here (Canada). Ever tried to get a job without a SIN or Social Security Number, home address or bank account? How about the ones that don’t have a home, no clean clothes, and limited access to a shower? Is McDonald’s or Wendy’s going to hire them? No way. Go work on a construction site you say? Gee, how’s he going to afford steel toe boots and a hard hat?

Sure, there are people out there that take advantage of the system, and maybe 0.5% of the homeless make more then me (unlikely), but before making sweeping generalizations about the entire homeless population, go spend a few weekends volunteering in a soup kitchen or shelter and actually talk to a few of them before you judge.

7

I’ve done that kind of volunteer work, and I think it’s a much better way to help the homeless than giving cash to sign-holding beggars on the street.

8

I gave one of those guys a few bucks once while in a left turn lane; I got a “god bless you” for my money. A minute later, I watched as he crossed the street and got into an Escalade driven by a nice looking young lady. The real kicker was that the Escalade had several other male passengers, all of whom looked as scruffy as the guy I gave the money to. I felt like an utter chump but I still sometimes give a buck or two.

9

I volunteer too, especially during the holidays.

10

Seems like you don’t have money to give, just time.

Like others have said, there are plenty of ways for you to help the less fortunate without just handing them money. If you are so inclined, go volunteer somewhere. Bring your husband too.

You will feel good about it and you will not regret it. I often give my time to good causes - because that’s all I have. No money, just time.

Plus, don’t worry about taking care of yourself first. You can’t take care of others until you’ve taken care of yourself. People who have cars and don’t have to work two jobs or and/or work + school are the sort of people who have time to spare for good causes. Be glad that you have enough money to be able to give your time.

11

Olives, you’re a fine person. I’ve spent time homeless myself, and as you can imagine, it was no picnic. I remember that period (thankfully short) every time I see someone by the side of the road. If I can help out with a couple of bucks, food or a pack of cigarettes, I do…when I can’t I feel awful about it.

Sure, there are those–quite a few, in fact–who have other options, or just want to get drunk. But there are also those who are only trying to feed themselves or their families. I truly think this one (“Need work or food,” not “money”) was legit. But what others have said was true–take care of yourself, and then do what you can for others.
Compassion for the whole world is meaningless without compassion for the self. But it’s still okay to cry when you are unable to help.

12

I’ve seen a panhandler at I-35 and 51st Street in Austin with a sign that reads, “My family was killed by ninjas. Need money for kung fu lessons.” I bet that guy makes more than I do, but that’s showbiz.

I agree with those who say it’s probably best to donate money and time to homeless shelters and actual organizations that can provide responsible assistance to people. Giving money to panhandlers just seems to exacerbate the problem.

13

For a few weeks, there was a young fellow wearing a ragged tie-dyed shirt who stood near the on-ramp of a local expressway with a really cool hand-drawn poster that looked like a Peter Max poster. It said FEED MY HEAD. I was really tempted to stop and talk to the guy, but I never did.

14

Maybe olives could just come up with a snappy one liner to donate to the guy?

15

My husband has taken to putting some money aside every time he is asked for change, and then donating it when he has a sufficient amount. He gets paid for the good things he does, but he takes care of displaced and abandoned children on his weekends.

I do enjoy volunteer work a lot, it is true this is a wonderful way to contribute when all you have is time. I think the most ideal situation would be having some combination of both money AND time. I’m one of those people who wants to make my time count, my career count. Right now I work for a non-profit and I love the people, everyone there feels the same way as I do, a whole mess of people with real, genuine compassion.

Guess I just got ‘‘Save the World’’ syndrome today. I know it’s true that people will take advantage and cheat you, but it seems worth it to maintain a sense of generosity, even if I am getting swindled.

I always think of my uncle when I see homeless people. He’s mentally ill – paranoid schizoaffective – very sick (by sick, I mean he is court mandated to be forcibly medicated to protect the public and himself), and always straddling that line between having a roof over his head and being out on the street. No matter who it is, I just see him, the total unfairness of his life circumstances, how wonderful he is, and how nobody who met him on the street would ever realize it.