Reason number 38432 to hate working in cubicles.
The strangled breathing sounds you make while trying not to laugh too loud are almost worse than the laughter itself would have been…
Of course stone won’t fall faster than little Cindee, but don’t you see that’s perfect? Glurge must contain at least one violation of major scientific principles understood 400 years ago. It’s still perfect! Except wasn’t the angel tin, not stone? But that might be on purpose, too! I love it!
Whoa, I just did one hell of a double take and probably have a bad case of whiplash now.
red_dragon60, did you know something we didn’t at this time last year? 
One Christmas Eve, Frank and Judy went to an important dinner party held by Frank’s boss, since Frank was the breadwinner in the family and Judy usually stayed home with their two children, John and Mark.
They had a babysitter watch the children, and as things turned out, both Frank and Judy enjoyed themselves a little too much, with Frank getting angry when the ladle wouldn’t scoop out the last shot of egg nog and putting the whole bowl up to his face. They were asked to leave.
They returned home to discover that the babysitter had already left hours before, and so Frank and Judy stumbled off to bed.
Soon thereafter, John and Mark crawled into bed with mommy and daddy, and both Frank and Judy signed contentedly at the extra warmth the children gave to that cold winter night.
The next morning, Frank and Judy awakened to find the bed soaked in the blood of their children. The babysitter had left the front door unlocked and in the night a Democrat had come into the house and slit the childrens’ wrists. The children had held each others’ hands over the gaping wounds and staunched the blood flow until mommy and daddy returned, but they were passed out by the time the children could painfully make their way up the tall stairway, and the children slowly and painfully succumbed.
Frank and Judy swept up their children in their arms and, covered in blood, rushed to their minivan, only to discover that Frank’s boss’ toddler must have wandered out of the house while Frank and Judy were making a scene in the doorway, and Frank had run the child down, embedding it in the front grill of the minivan.
Then, a loud booming voice spoke out from the heavens: "You have forsaken the teachings of the Lord, and I have taken away everything you hold dear–your minivan, which will be held in evidence until your expensive lawyer gets you off the hook for manslaughter."
Frank and Judy collapsed in the bloody snow, crying tears of regret that they could have transgressed so far from the Lord. Then, the heavens spoke again.
"No, really, I was only kidding. Have a merry Christmas!
Then, from the front of the minivan, a faint wailing could be heard. Frank ran over and discovered his boss’ toddler completely unhurt! At the same time, Mark and John miraculously revived, noted it was daylight, and demanded that they be allowed to open up the X-Box first.
Frank took the toddler home, and became a hero with a guaranteed fast-track to Executive Vice President in time to win a fat golden parachute before the economy went to shit as a result of the Clinton Administration. Mark and John got Halo that very day, and Judy stayed in the kitchen, where she belonged. It was a very merry Christmas indeed.
Please send this touching story to everyone we know. Remember, Jesus loves everyone who tithes ten percent from the net!
OH MY GOD, SDMB IS A PSYCHIC ENTITY!!!
red_dragon60’s Osama and screech owl’s 911 in the same post from one year ago. The vilian and the date and something getting blown up. Nostradamus move over SDMB is here!
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Not same post, same thread. Preview twit.
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