In a current GD thread, a poster named lestrange has asserted that members of her family and workplace aquaintances are of the opinion that homosexual same sex attraction does not actually exist. Not merely that gay people have convinced themselves that they have this this attraction (and as a result think they feel it), but that gay people know that they do not have any such attraction, and are in fact repulsed by their own actions. They engage in it anyway “in order to shock and hurt people”. (This is related to a debate over people’s capacity to misunderstand sexuality).
Personally I find it hard to believe that anyone other than a complete moron would believe such a thing. Furthemore, I’ve never heard such a view expressed in my life.
So I put it before the Teeming Millions: have you ever heard someone expressing such views, and if so, how widespread has it been in your experience?
Being in the Bible Belt I’ve heard quite often that homosexuality is a choice, that it’s not possible for people to be born gay. But I can’t say that I’ve ever heard anyone put it as extreme as “repulsed by their own actions” and “practicing it just for the shock factor.” If they’re doing it just for the shock factor, why do so many of them remain closeted? You can’t very well shock people with your actions of you keep them hidden. That theory is about as strong as a wet kleenex.
How does my having sex with (whomever) shock and hurt anybody? I suspect that lestrange has no factual evidence regarding who I have sex with. If people are actually being shocked and/or hurt by anecdotes or grapevine news, I think those are the people who have some serious self-help issues.
But since this is not GD, I will respond by saying that no, I have never heard any such thing.
um yes, i’ve heard it.
mostly about my lesbian friends.
some people (mostly male, it has to be said) think that they don’t REALLY like girls, they just have sex with them to annoy/frustrate/arouse/shock/anger men.
on the basis that pretty girls who could have their pick of the men in a bar, would never choose a girl instead.
uh huh. whatever.
they’re all gay because they want to be interesting. ye-es.
Sometimes the sky is orange…during the sunrise or sunset.
Heh.
Anyhoo, that’s the first time I’ve heard THAT one. What? To shock people? If I was gonna shock people, I think I’d wanna do more than sleep with some chick.
Please reread the OP. Lestrange has not asserted that she believes this - rather that people of her aquaintance do (she herself strongly condemns this)
Yes. Anyone who has heard lesbians being referred to as “man-haters” has pretty much heard it. (Although, strangely, gay men are never referred to as “woman-haters.”)
Not necessarily. Being a “man-hater” might be a reason for a woman to convince herself that she likes women. What I’m looking for is people who think they (gays & lesbians) know that they do not like those of their gender (sexually), but deliberately pretend to, for effect. I hope this distinction is clear to all.
“What I’m looking for is people who think they (gays & lesbians) know that they do not like those of their gender (sexually), but deliberately pretend to, for effect.”
I know that some people pretend to be bi (mostly women) because it’s trendy. Annoys the shit out of me.
If I wanted to shock and hurt people, I would try to implement government regulation of their private sex lives based entirely on a few out-of-context lines from a book written thousands of years ago.
ITR, there is now a small shrine for you built in Southern Delaware.
I have heard this “it doesn’t exist” attitude before. Actually, I’ve heard it in a variety of ways- a lot of times queers of color get “only white people do that” from their communities. Countries where it’s “be closeted or die” also can have the idea that it simply doesn’t exist.
I dunno, brilliant people can sometimes imagine moronic things to validate their own beliefs… I seem to recall William S. Burroughs suggesting much the same thing with regard to heterosexual relations.
I think most people who offer this opinion are perhaps protesting too much, however: “Not only do I find homosexuality unappealling, I don’t believe it’s possible that anyone really enjoys it. It’s just so completely alien to me. And I never get a woody while I’m watching the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Oops, what a give-away.”
(Man to a woman he’s trying to pick up, who has just told him she’s a lesbian):
“Is that a political or a personal preference?”
– Sexual Perversity (in Chicago) David Mamet
It’s only been about 18 years since I saw it, but I’ve always remembered that line.
OK, I know lots of people who say that there is no such thing as being homosexually oriented. I know LOTS more who will absolutely and totally deny that anyone is “born” gay - according to them, being gay is a “choice” and a “lifestyle” rather than an innate orientation. Gays are perverse blasphemers who do it on purpose just to piss off God and the righteous. And yeah, I’ve heard the “only to shock/hurt family & friends” line a few times, too.
I’ve also run into quite a few (older) folks who had never heard of the concept of ‘homosexuality’ until recently. I mean, had NO IDEA WHATSOEVER. They did not know that some men had sex with men, nor some women with women. Not a clue. None. Whatsoever. Never would have occurred to them in their entire lives, until gays started making the news a couple-three decades ago. If they saw two women/men holding hands, they would just figure they were good friends. Seriously.
Did I mention that I live in the Buckle more than several times on this board?
What I run into most commonly is people who simply disbelieve that any gays live here (where ever they are). They are willing to believe that those perverts live elsewhere (like in that freak circus, California), but not right here at home.
I’m telling ya, Izzy, the idea just isn’t anywhere near as universal as you seem to think.
Well being as I am here in Utah, the HOME of conservative, I hear the “gay choice” all the time. There are several local mostly religious groups that are dedicated to “curing” gays. Seems to me like one way to live in hell…
My own mother in law, who is about as surreal as they come, once said “I dont mind gays being gay but why do they have to run around telling people about it?” I tell ya took me about 3 minutes to shake the shock and try to answer that one!
