How did the Limp hand come to signify male homosexuality? I know it has meant that all my life, and likely predates me.
And if that seems too simple, then how about this: when and where and how did it come to signify this?
Interesting side story, if you’re interested. Back when I was in grade school, there was this obnoxious boy Terence, who kept kidding me I was gay. I never knew what he was getting at. But anyway, he would do the Limp hand thing, and pretend he was saying hi to me. But he never did it the right way. All four fingers were down. I use to show him, that’s not how you do it. And I would proceed to do it the right way. Pinky up, index and ring finger on the same level. I even had my middle finger down, doing the twinkle thing. Ironic I got it so good, even back then, don’t you think?
As far as I know, gay voice and gay mannerisms are correlated weakly with a childhood weighted heavily toward adult female role models and is irrespective of orientation. I’m not sure that the ‘limp wrist’ is meaningful other than it’s stereotypically feminine and therefore ‘gay’. Then it gets reinforced as a sort of ingroup shibboleth, especially in times and places where being out was dangerous.
I have a photo of my brother-in-law from the mid-60’s. (He didn’t “come out” and leave his wife until the 90’s)
He’s sitting there holding and smoking a pipe and dangling the other hand. I looked at that when I found it in my parents’ collection and thought “how did nobody have a clue?”
Those were different times.
One thing I’ve noticed is that the more macho a culture is, the longer the list of supposedly gay affectations.
So a lot of it comes down to what “real” men are expected to do, and some desire – conscious or otherwise – to not appear feminine. Letting your hand hang limply at the wrist is perceived as a little feminine so men avoid doing that and the association gets stronger.
The somewhat arbitrary nature of this is demonstrated by the fact I have no idea of what the OP means by the “correct” limp hand. In Britain, people did, when I was a child at least, make “fun” of gay people with a limp wrist gesture. But all 4 fingers were down, I don’t know of any other way.
Note that it is also present in only a few women, and IME for women it tends to be one of those “I’m being girly here, teehee” affectations. The very few women I’ve met who did it, did it only when making big eyes at someone.
I would guess this comes from the theatrical tradition dating from a time when women were not allowed on the stage and female roles were taken by male actors who specialised in delicate female gestures such as this. The entertainment business was, and still is, a place where that kind expression is part of the culture. During the times when there was a lot of sexual repression, it was a refuge, and such gestures were a signal of affinity. Its all guesswork, but I once saw a TV program where a female impersonation act was in training. The performance relied on mastering certain key female gestures and the limp wrist was certainly one of them.
