I have mentioned having a brother a few times before but I have more than one brother.
This particular bro I am writing about right now is the “goody two shoes” of the family who can usually be found dressed up very neat and proper and getting high grades in school.
The other day I was emptying all the wastebaskets in the house and found pot in my brothers wastebasket and I would not have been shocked if it was my other brother or one of my step-siblings, but because it was him I waited until we were alone to ask what was going on.
My brother admitted that he had smoked the pot and simply did not like it and felt guilty because he knew our Mother would be disappointed. He threw it in his wastebasket the same night and had planned on throwing it away.
I then asked if it was his first time smoking pot and he said yes, He never told where he got it and I didn’t push him to say where…
long story short I completely believe him because he is one of the most honest people I know. The pot was not in any type of bag and it was all at the bottom of the wastebasket under trash, so I doubt he was saving it for later.
If I tell my mother she would probably be very dissapointed and I would ruin a reputation that has been 12 years in the making.
I thought I knew for sure that I would not be saying anything about the incident but now I’m not sure just based on that 1 per cent chance my brother is lying to me. BTW I am not usually a snitch but I am strongly considering it because I want this brother to grow up and use his “Bill Gates like abilities” to get rich and he can’t do that if he becomes a pothead.
As an almost 50 something Mom who also tried pot, I say give him a break. Telling at this point will only give him grief. If it comes up again, go for it and inform the units.
That’s not necessarily true, you know. Some of us are doing well with our applied geekiness (I’m doing tolerably well at $70K w/benefits as a FileMaker geek) despite a fondness for the stuff.
I have a younger brother who is incredibly smart. He got the highest score on the PSAT’s in his whole school… and… he smokes the reefer. AND… he gets good grades - AND has other extracurricular activities. I know it depends on the kid, but, if your brother is as smart as you say he is, its likely he posesses some self-control like my brother.
Pot doesnt make everyone lazy… doesnt make everyone stupid.
The way I see it, you are his sibling, don’t tattle. If he was a serious stoner, you AND your parents would notice the difference. Don’t bust him for no reason. It’s not crack- it’s pot. Let him make some choices for himself.
And you’d probably be a jerk for tattling after he already got rid of the stuff. If he tried it, said he didn’t like it and threw it away, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about.
Successful people smoke pot, and people who are failures smoke pot. Most of the time I imagine the two are unrelated.
I agree…it’s just that I have known my share of pot heads and have even gotten into it myself. I can say from experience that alot of the people that I know who smoke pot have either started with more harmful substances or have let it take over their life as in everything they do is about getting high.
Sounds like you turned out okay, though. Like I said, if your brother really just tried it once and threw it away, there isn’t anything to worry about. If you see signs he’s still using it and having problems as a result, that’s a different thing. One of my close friends found cocaine in her sister’s purse last year, and she’d already been concerned that her sister was partying too hard (I think she was 16 at the time). My friend was obviously very worried and I thought she should at least consider talking to her parents, but the sister said she hadn’t used it before so she didn’t. Shortly thereafter, the girl quit hanging out with the wrong crowd and hasn’t had any problems since. If my friend had spoken to her parents, I doubt things would’ve worked out that way.
I’d let it slide for now, but tell him that if you so much as even REMOTELY smell it on him/find evidence in his room again/see a weird look in his eye, you’ll tell Mom.
It’s possible he really did smoke it just once and didn’t like it. I’ve never done it but I doubt I could get past the smell, much less enjoy it.
A single joint does not a pothead make, either. I’ve smoked pot before, but I’m not a pothead, any more than I’m a lush because I once drank a glass of sangria.
It’s your call whether to believe him or not. But my suggestion is that if you even have the faintest suspicion that he is still doing it, sit down and talk to your parents. Telling your parents is not snitching, it’s doing the right thing.
I’d let it go this time. As so many people have said, not all people who smoke pot turn out to be unsuccessful dope fiends. But more importantly, if your brother is as scrupulously honest as you say, why wouldn’t you give him the benefit of the doubt?
Out of curiosity, would you decide NOT to tell if it were your other brother or step-siblings?
There’s a lot more behind the actions of these people you know than the fact that they started out by smoking marijuana. Addictions have a psychological as well as a physical basis. Just because your talented and upstanding brother took one toke and decided he didn’t like it doesn’t mean the Evil Weed will somehow take over his brain and automatically drive him into a cesspool of drug-induced dysfunction.
Seriously, cut him a break on this one. He’s obviously doing good as it is and doesn’t need the extra hassle of having the parents come down on him.
One question, though - what were you doing in his wastebasket? I know you said you were emptying all the trashbaskets, but is this something you do regularly? It just seems strange to me that your brother would dump an illegal substance straight into his wastebasket if he knew other family members would be in there at some point.
Let’s see. . .I was an honor roll student my whole life. I was an all-right athlete. I came from a pretty respectable family.
Then, I started smoking pot at age 15.
What happened?
Well, I graduated top 10% of my class, got almost a full scholarship to college.
I was all-conference in soccer, and captain of the team in high school.
I graduated college and went to a nice mid-atlantic university on full scholarship for graduate school.
And ever since, I’ve been making enough cash to buy a house, and a nice microwave oven.
All this while being a pot-head.
Look, if your brother starts goofing off, getting bad grades, skipping school, stealing from mom, get in there. But like everyone else in this thread is telling you, it’s pretty harmless stuff. It can be abused like anything else though.
Don’t worry about it.
Tell your brother that he should get it out of the trash and try it again because the first couple times, it doesn’t do anything, but it gets to be a lot of fun after that.
You should smoke it too – if you’re over 15 – because its a lot of fun. Just don’t do it in excess.
And THAT’S the kind of stuff your teachers aren’t allowed to tell you, but would if they were.
Whoa. I am so glad you aren’t my sibling. Then again, my little brother went through the DARE program, so I guess it’s about the same. No offense, but butt out of your brother’s business. I have some questions though. Does “12 years in the making” imply that your brother is twelve, or does it imply that he is a senior in high school? Because if he’s a senior, then you really need to butt out. If he’s 12, you may want to pay a bit more attention, seeing as he’ll be living with you guys for a while. However, the fact that he threw pot away would suggest that he’s not a pot-head, you follow me?
FYI, I am a graduate of UC Berkeley (1997), and am now head of my department at work, and I smoke pot very regularly and have for a long time. I don’t let it affect my work, and I don’t hang out with boring potheads. Just because you smoke pot doesn’t automatically make you a loser, no matter what DARE or anyone else says.
This is a very serious situation because as we have come to find out, smoking pot helps fund terrorism and, since there is to be no distinction between terrorists and those who help terrorists, your brother is a terrorist … Of course, by covering for him - thus aiding him - you are a terrorist!
Remain calm; some nice, undertrained interrogators will be along shortly …
