What are the worst Christmas movies you have seen? To make the list, it should be one that you will never watch again with honorable mentions for ones you may watch but (or because) they are just so bad
St. Cad: I saw one and I can’t remember the title where a man sets a fire that kills a family’s child. The family is later tricked by the pastor into getting gifts for that man’s family because he can’t because he in jail for killing their kid. :eek: :mad:
I swear to god I almost punched that pastor in the nuts through the TV.
Mrs Cad: For cheesiness, you simply cannot beat Santa Claus. No Lupita! Don’t steal the dolly!
Honorable mention: Jingle All the Way. Did the casting director for *Phantom Menace *even watch this film? Jake Lloyd ruined 2 movies and is the only thing worst in PM than Jar-Jar Binks.
If we are allowed to include TV Christmas specials, then, I submit: “Frosty Returns.” It airs tonight if you wish to catch it in all it’s glorious suckitude.
John Goodman is a perfect choice for the voice of Frosty (as was Mason for the first one) and they still managed to get it all wrong.
Then Rudolph’s and Frosty’s Christmas in July would count. For years I thought the evil reindeer was Fireball (from the original Rudolph) returned after a life on meth. To be honest, that misconception was the only thing that made R&FCiJ interesting.
Anyone remember Surviving Christmas, where Ben Affleck wants to live out the holiday cheer he never got as a kid – and so finds the house he grew up in, and pays James Gandolfini a quarter-of-a-million bucks to let him celebrate with the family? It’s worse than you’d think!
The worst I’ve ever seen is The Town That Banned Christmas, which my Dad picked up from a supermarket bargain bin and insisted on putting on. Don’t be fooled by the relatively high 4.5 rating on IMDB. Of the 67 votes, suspiciously ten people gave it full marks, rating it as masterpiece of film (well, video).
If you can, get Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale on Blu-Ray. It comes with Santa Claus Conquers the Martians! One of the best Christmas movies and one of the worst in the same box!
Serendipity. John Cusak meets Kate Beckinsdale in a mall at Christmas and they agree to let Fate decide if they should date each other by seeing if they ever meet again. Two hours of them barely missing each other, while you’re breathless with worry that they never will meet again, like that’s even remotely possible in a shitty Hollywood shitfest of shit.
Two hours spent by me rooting for Fate to force them apart, since <a> they’re too stupid to try Google and <b> there’s no way anyone would not try and bang Kate Beckinsdale at the very first opportunity.
Jingle All The Way is a great movie. No one cares about Jake Lloyd. but you have Arnold and Sinbad and Phil Hartman. a true holiday classic. And biting social commentary on consumer culture
I’m going to reach for something a bit obscure and nominate 1989’s Elves starring Dan Haggerty (Grizzly Adams!). The link is to the Amazon listing for the VHS copy, but you can actually watch the film in it’s entirety on YouTube here. The following is a short plot synopsis from an Amazon review:
I may get hate for this, but Elf with Will Ferrell is a huge piece of overripe crap. Everyone in this clunker except Ferrell is either sleep-walking through his performance or mailing it in. I’m looking at YOU, James Caan. Was this really the only role you could land? Were you unable to get out of some contract your agent signed? Looking bored or angry/bored in every scene is a real downer for the audience. Ditto for Bob Newhart, who I normally like a lot. Ferrell doesn’t have the chops or the talent to carry off a full length film on his own, although he didn’t really seem to be trying all that hard either.
I’ll throw in Scrooged as another film I’ve never made it through. Jeebus Crisp, son of Gosh, who thought that was a good idea?
Scrooged had plenty of redeeming features:
–Bill Murray in top comedic form
–David Johanssen’s ghost cabbie
–Carol Kane: Wonderful!
–It was Michael O’Donoghue’s last major project
–Karen Allen’s greatest performance
–Self-deprecating cameos by Jamie Farr, Robert Goulet and “Mary Lou Retton as Tiny Tim”
–Robert Mitchum’s idea for attracting cats as an advertising demographic: “How about a detective who dangles a piece of string?”
Ultimately, it didn’t hold together all that well, but I’d call it an interesting, ambitious failure on par with any Terry Gilliam project with the same types of assets and liabilities.
:eek: :mad: