Nitpick: “I’ll have the roast duck with mango salsa.” To me its even funnier that the caveman orders something trendy like that.
Oh come on, Lissa.
Everyone knows the caveman orders Roast duck… with mango salsa!
Regarding lawyer commercials, for years I’ve been tempted to call up the worst offenders and ask, “What can I sue someone for?”
Receptionist: “Ma’am, were you the victim of an accident?”
Me: No, but I’m still hoping to win a lot of money for suing someone.
R: Well let’s see what we can do. Did you witness an accident?
M: No, but the idea of having an accident traumatizes me. Who can I sue?
R: We’ll have to be more specific.
M: Your commercial says you can get me fifty thousand dollars. I want it.
R: Call us back when you’re the victim of something.
M: I just told you I’m traumatized by the idea of accidents happening. I want to sue everybody who has a lot of money! Your commercial said you’d get me fifty thousand dollars and I want it!
And so on. But I’m still too young to be that much of a crank.
There are several-but one (for a local ambulance-chaser0 is particularly bad: it shows the guy 9a lawter0 solemnly intoning a list of medical disasters-he reads from a list:
“hove you ever had mis-daignosed cancer, or been the victim of medical errors?”-“I can get you what you deserve!”
-the ad closes with a (solemn) disembodied voice intoning: “When Blotnick, Blotnik&Schmuck takes a case, people listen”!
Memo to: Axe Shower Wash Truck Driver
Re: Road Hazards.
It has come to our attention that in a commercial, repeated way too often, two people smooching while rolling down a hill roll onto a road, causing our company truck to fall off a cliff, totalling said truck, contents, and probably driver.
This is to inform all drivers that our new policy is, in all such cases, to run the morons over.
No one will ever miss them.
Yep. I sure can. I just moved away from Shreveport a couple of weeks ago. Though I don’t think their ads annoy me as much as all the various ones that were produced/distributed by a company called LifeWise – apparently the more you talk about them in your ad the the less you have to pay them. I don’t care what company distributes a commercial, I really really don’t, and I don’t understand why any of the companies who use their services are willing to waste half their commercial praising somebody else’s company!
I just saw the new popcorn commercial with the CGI Orville Redenbacher. Good lord, that’s the creepiest thing I’ve seen in a while. His skin tone, his facial expressions, his movements - they were all just a little bit off, so that he looked like a cheerfully crazed re-animated zombie. I didn’t like it.
[nitpick]The song is by Royksopp, called “Remind Me”, and is an original song. It’s not a cover of “Always Something There To Remind Me” by Naked Eyes- if that’s what you were saying. If not, I apologise. My reading comprehension is dwindling due to the flu, but I’m taking a shot, anyway.[/nitpick]
I’m on the e-mail list for our mayor’s weekly newsletter. He likes to brag about how he scurries around for Economic Development, which he abbreviates.
Nobody likes talk about it, but many of the young workers have left town, seeking work; the result is that the average age here is now over 60.
I saw an ad with a succession of men who didn’t realize that their high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. could cause E.D. A voiceover steps in with a pitch for Viagra, or one of its competitors.
Then it occurred to me. My city’s residents are so old, the mayor’s office has a Director of E.D. 
One city councilman disrupts every meeting to say he has some old business he needs to bring up.
I’m going to mention those Apple commercials with the two guys: one supposedly young and hip (the Apple user) the other an overweight older guy (the PC user).
The point of the commercials is to highlight that Apple computer users are, well, young and hip compared to PC users. However, the message I receive is this: Apple computers are for kids who want to play, PC’s are for adults who want to work.
If you want to goof off and make Youtube videos of your latest drunken rant - get an Apple.
If you want to run your hedge fund - get a PC.
Not necessarily a “horrible” set of commercials, but the message they’re sending is not the message people are receiving.
The other airport one hes standing in front of the poster complaining on his cell phone to someone at the airport about it, i think he goes “yeah, im standing right in front of it”. On the first ad after seeing the poster he gives his “i should just let it go” look so i thought it was a nice follow up.
I know, it’s awful! I felt a little nostalgic when they began running an old ad from the 70s with a box of microwave popcorn inserted in the foreground, but whatever goodwill that ad had engendered has been crushed by the new ad. I love their popcorn, but I’m not buying it while that monstrosity is on the airwaves.
Awful lawyer ads: We have one that shows the lawyer talking about his wonderful self and then shows him in silhouette with an Amercian flag waving in the background. He’s not running for office, is this supposed to make me want to hire this guy? Kraft Macaroni and Cheese has nothing on this guy because his commercial is the cheesiest.
Orville Reddenbacher: I just saw the new ad recently, I thought “oh my god, that’s the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Oh c’mon. I was going to post that in the next “commercials you actually like” thread. I remember when maxpad ads gave you the idea they should be worn tied to the head while going horsebackriding. I remember when we couldn’t have ads about condoms. I remember when we had ads about condoms but only if they didn’t talk about sex. I think it’s great they have the balls to come out and say pee. (And not every nervous 15 year old knows how to use a pregenacy test. Maybe they should. And if it it takes an authoritative to the point commercial, so be it.)
As long as you are nitpicking, I hope you know the song “Always Something There to Remind Me” isn’t original with Naked Eyes, it’s a Burt Bacharach/Hal David song that goes back to the 60s, and was covered by everyone from Dionne Warwick to Jose Feliciano to Johhny Mathis before Naked Eyes did their cover in 1983.
Special-K
Setting:
A pretty, open air restaurant. Three, thin, early 30’s, pretty women sitting around the table.
A 4th thin, early 30’s, pretty woman walks up. The others comment on how wonderful she looks (meaning she’s lost weight and looks wonderful, and oh howIwishmyfatnesscouldlooklikeherohmygodImustweigh110lbsI’vegottagoonadietIwannalooklikeherthebitch…)
Anyway, They ask how she’s managed to look so good and she tells them that basically it’s from eating Special K for breakfast. Then the announcer voiceover tells us that we’d all be so much prettier and thinner if we only ate Special K.
My problems with this:
-
All the women are thin and beautiful. They’re all acting like they think they’re fat slobs and need to lose weight. Nothing like inspiring women and girls to feel better about themselves.
-
The voice over says (I might be slightly off here)
“Studies have shown that women who eat breakfast like (as in such as) Special K weigh (as in pounds) less.”
But, due to the lack of verbal punctuation, the voiceover sounds like…
"Studies have shown that women who eat breakfast like (as in prefer) Special K way less (as in they like something better).
Next time you see it, check out the artwork. I nearly died.
One of the major banks (I want to say Wells Fargo, but I’m not sure right now) has been doing a series of rotoscope commercials. I think the concept of rotoscoping is pretty cool, but it serves absolutely no purpose where these commercials are concerned, and frankly, I find it a bit creepy. Drives me nuts.
Conversely, I’d like to throw my support behind all of the Geico caveman commercials (with the exception of the one where the caveman is being interviewed on a news program).
There’s one out for some kind of mouth guard, for people who grind their teeth. Which I understand is a problem for some people, but the very instant the commercial starts they kick in with the horrible, horrible noise of someone’s molars grinding together. Worse than nails on a chalkboard, and it makes me shudder as I grope for the “mute” button. I hate that commercial.