My mother is a compulsively neat person. I would challenge anyone to find a speck of dirt in her immaculately clean home. My grandmother is a little more flexible, but still has very strict standards.
Somehow, the two of them neglected to teach me a few things about housekeeping.
A couple of years ago during the holidays, Hubby and I had some friends over for dinner. He reached up and turned off the ceiling fan so it wouldn’t chill the food on the table. (The fan runs constantly to keep the heat from going up to the high ceilings in my dining room.) “Eww!” I gasped. “Look at it-- It’s filthy!”
“Yeah, it is, honey. How long has it been since you cleaned it?”
I stared at him stupidly. “Cleaned it? You have to *clean *ceiling fans?” I would have guessed that the rapid motion would be enough to keep dust from settling, but I would have guessed wrong. Nor did I know you were supposed to move refrigerators and clean under them. I didn’t realize how much dirt gets under them.
I aksed my mother how I could have possibly skipped these lessons in keeping a clean house, and she honestly had no idea. She said it must have been one of those things I ignored.
I can’t be the only one who missed out on learning a few things, and discovered it the embarassing way. Confess, and make me feel better.
I learned the fan thing when we reversed one of our ceiling fans to push the heat down from our loft. Something you may not know–reversing the fan causes all the crap that was on the blades to fly off at high speed. We had just moved in, but I guess the last people in the house didn’t know to clean the fan, either.
I am almost certain that I am ignorant of some dishwasher and/or washer-dryer cleaning ritual that will come back to bite me in the ass later.
My mother didn’t really teach me anything about housekeeping, other than to straighten up my room. She did the cleaning herself for the most part.
So, fast forward to Adult Life wherein I discover that merely being refrigerated does not cause food to keep forever. I rarely get to the “purge the fridge” duties before the items are capable of walking themselves to the trash.
1.) Don’t forget to clean the lint trap after each use. Most people know this, but I’m still surprised to find hat some people don’t.
2.) Every now and then, clean out the hot air outlet leading from your dryer to the Outside World. Despite the Lint Trap, a lot of stuff gets through, and can present a fire hazard.
3.) Check your water hoses every now and thenm, unless you want a Rude (and Wet) Awakening one day.
Besides these, you should Change the Air Filters in your House* a bare minimum of once a year.
You’re lucky your mother taught you some things at least. Mine, on the other hand, didn’t teach me crap. Which is probably a good thing. She can’t clean worth a damn.
Dust after you vacuum. Otherwise the vacuuming puts a new layer of dust on your freshly-wiped furniture.
Hubby still doesn’t abide by this one. I can’t really vacuum much until baby is born, so it’s been his thing. He dusted the other week, then vacuumed, the perplexedly observed later, “What the HELL?? There’s DUST on the dinner table already??”
About three days ago, my in-laws were in town and we were all gathered around the dinner table talking. Somehow in the course of conversation the word “Iron” was mentioned, as in the thing you remove wrinkles with. My five year old daughter looked up and quizically said “What’s an iron?”
Bwhaaa, everyone but my wife burst out in laughter.
I actually was the main housekeeper between ages 12-18 (with two bros 6 and 8 years younger), which I believe explains why I absolutely refuse to do any housekeeping Not Absolutely Necessary.
One of my roommates (who was from India and had grown up with a personal maid) never understood why I considered that the kitchen was a Bad Place for piles of boxed pairs of tennis shoes. “But I’ve only worn them once!” Yech.
Some stuff people tend to forget:
dust those places you can’t see. The carvings on the doors, the top shelves, etc. You never know when the local basketball team is coming to visit
if you put some newspapers on top of the cupboards, then instead of having to wash the whole surface you just have to change the papers. Set a whole layer, then set another layer on top (less likely to get “bald spots” where dirt gets through).
most figurines are cleaned best with either a feather duster or a slightly-humid rag (the duster is for stuff that’s got hard-to-reach spots), don’t wash them.
if you just cleaned your lamps and the room is noticeably brighter… you need to do it more often
At the bottom of the inside of the frig is a drip tray. Wash it occasionally, or mold will grow on it.
Speaking of washing machines, occasionally run a empty hot water cycle, adding only a gallon of white vinegar to clean the soap scum out. If the machine has automatic dispensers, run a cup of hot vinegar in each of them.
I remember shortly after moving into our first apartment in college, one of my roommates saw another cleaning the bathtub. “You actually have to wash that?” she asked. “I thought it got clean by itself!” :eek: At that point we realized she had led a pretty sheltered life.
I am the world’s worst house cleaner, but people think I’m a laundry genius. My secret is 20 Mule Team Borax and Fels-Naptha Laundry Soap. Costs you pocket change and you can get anything out of anything with a combination of the two, and maybe some hairspray and vinegar and aspirin.
My mom always taught me to dust first and then vacuum. Dusting knocks all the dust off (what doesn’t get picked up by the duster or rag) onto the floor, and then you can vacuum it up. YMMV.
As for ceiling fans, we never had them when I was growing up. When my husband and I got married and bought this house, we suddenly had ceiling fans. Cool! Except I had no idea how freaking dirty the things got. Yeah, you’d think the constant motion would be enough to keep the dust from settling on them, but no. Talk about rude awakening.
My mom taugtht me about hairspray (for ballpoint pen ink), and 20-Mule Team Borax, but I learned about Fels-Naptha in a book called The Tightwad Gazette. I also got a recipe for a laundry presoak* that works wonders. I can get my huband’s filthy, greasy, grass-stained jeans clean!
1 cup Clorox 2, 1 cup Cascade dish detergent, dissolve in hottest water possible, let stuff agitate for a few minutes, turn off washing machine, let sit a couple of hours or overnight, turn the washer back on and run through the cycle and stains will be gone - I soak the kitchen towels in it every couple of months. Gets them really clean.
My mom taught me to clean pretty well, but she didn’t teach me to cook at all. I was never interested and she never forced the issue (like she did when it came to cleaning). As a consequence, I have had to call her to ask her things like “how long do you have to boil an egg to get it hardboiled?” and “how long does it take to bake a potato?” Oh well. Now I know, anyway.
When I called my mom for that very reason, she neglected to ensure that I’d poked holes in the potatoes. I called her back three hours later to say they still weren’t done, and she laughed at me.
I recommend How to Cook Everything by Mark Bittman for people who don’t know those things. He has a “The basics of” section for just about every cut of meat and vegetable, which includes a section called “When is it done?” It’s great for people whose parents never taught them to cook (and weren’t such good cooks themselves).
I can’t relax if the house is a mess-- I feel guilty and worry someone might drop by. I get this from my mother, I know. One of my favorite stories to tell about her is when we canned vegetables one day. It was really late when we finally finished, and I suggested we go to bed and leave the mess for the morning. Mom was horrified at the notion. “What if someone broke in?”
“They’d probably be too busy killing us to notice a bit of a mess in the kitchen,” I replied.
“Yeah, but what about the police?” she countered. “They take pictures of crime scenes!”
We cleaned up the mess.
In the museum in which I work we use Swiffer, and for those hard-to-reach areas, we use a small paintbrush. Moisture might cause the paint to flake.
I use only Swiffer at home to dust, probably out of habit from using it at work. Never, ever, ever use furniture polish on antiques, just so you know. Even the stuff that claims to leave no residue does. When in doubt, rub it on a mirror. If you can see a smear after it dries, don’t use it.
I’ve got a Dyson, a gift from (guess who?) my mother. Not only does it pick up extraordinarily well, but it doesn’t spit out any dust that I can notice.
Not that it matters-- I live in an extremely dusty area. I shit you not that you can dust one day and the next it looks like you didn’t even touch it.
