I got an evite from somebody I wasn’t really familar with but whom talk to over the net and worked with on a project a while ago(along with a bunch of other guys). Not exactly friends, but not a total stranger either. Apparently he and his wife moved in just up the street from me.
First question: Exactly what is a house warming party? I don’t get out much, so I’m not really familar with that particular kind of party. Does one dress up for a house party? Bring booze? Bring gifts?
Second question: There’s a bit of a qunadry. I already have a prior engagement for the same night. I could cancel but I’m not sure if I want to. What do dopers think about this?
And for the record, I’ve already considered accepting the invitation and then trying to attend both by running back and forth between them, like in every other sitcom, but I suspect it wouldn’t work in real life either.
Housewarming party is not some super-duper killer party – it’s just a regular party that they’re throwing because they just moved into a new place. What to wear: usual party clothes – slightly nicer than everyday but not necessarily really fancy. What to take: A bottle of wine or a fancy box of candy would be fine; the traditional housewarming gift is bread and salt (though Wonderbread and Morton’s would be a little tacky); I’ve given a nice vase and a bunch of flowers to stick in it.
Level of obligation – low. I’d read this as the guy thinks you’re a nice person and wouldn’t mind turning the relationship a little more social, but “dang, sorry, I’ve got other plans that night” wouldn’t be a slap in the face. If you’re skipping the party but would like to get together with the guy and his wife, you could have them over for dinner sometime. Trying to do two parties at once is silly – but they’re not both at exactly the same time, you could go to the nearby party (the housewarming?), explain that you’re headed elsewhere but wanted to say “welcome to the neighborhood,” and stay for an hour or so.
My experience with housewarmings these days is that a gift isn’t expected. A bottle of wine or liquor is appreciated at any party. If you’re feeling especially generous, buy a bottle of wine, wrap it in a nice kitchen towel & call it a gift.
A housewarming party is mainly to introduce yourself to the new neighborhood (provided you’ve invited the neigbors) and introduce your existing friends to the new abode, and create some warm memories associated with the new place.
As for dressing up, I would base that on the tone of the e-vite. If it offered no clues, as a woman I’d wear a casual skirt & nice t-shirt & cardigan. If I were a man, I’d do the standard khakis & casual polo thing. Since you say you don’t know them well, those are neutral outfits for an occasion where you aren’t sure what to wear.
If you have a prior engagement, though, by all means keep it. Let your new neighbors know you already accepted another invitation. If you want to leave the door open for future socializing with them, suggest they come over for coffee/drink or meet you out for coffee/drink sometime soon.