With the phonomenal box-office success of the Da Vinci Code, it hardly seems fair that Catholics get all this great publicity. All right, so it is not necessarily GOOD publicity.
But in this day and age it is publicity that counts, good or bad. Was it P.T. Barnum who said “Say what you want about me but spell my name right”? Or am I thinking about Kate Smith, the 250-pound singer who said “Call me anything you want but don’t call me late for dinner.”? Anyhow, you get the idea. Publicity!
So, in case there are any movie producers out among the teeming millions, here is a great idea I had for a Protestant sequel to the Da Vinci Code. I call it the Albrecht Durer Code.
A divinity student researching his doctoral thesis (about the effect of the Diet of Worms on Martin Luther’s legendary constipation) comes across an amazing theory. Namely, that Martin Luther actually married a former nun named Katharina von Bora and had children by her, and may have living descendants today!
But at every turn, his road is barred by a mysterious secret organization known only as the Missouri Synod, who are determined to keed him from learning the truth.
This could be a block-buster. What do you say, folks?
Lutheran, huh? It involves potluck suppers, I imagine?
You need to work this into the plot, somehow. Like some kind of mindcontrol experiment designed to steal our precious bodily fluids and sap our wills.
A monk and a nun? That’s impossible!
I think instead of the LCMS as the enemy, it should be the shadowy organization known as the Lutheran Brotherhood. It was thought they were dissolved, but they’ve just gone underground to protect their secrets.
Don’t think that the Lutherans aren’t up in arms about this book (and now the movie.)
I grew up a Lutheran and my mom still attends. Shortly after the book came out, there was an issue of the Missouri Synod magazine about the book. I read the book a while after that and I don’t remember at all what the controversey was.
Fast forward to this year. I’m helping out at the church doing construction. One day I was stuck in a room doing drywall by myself, and my confirmation teacher - a nutty old engineer/hippie/czech dude - corners me and starts going on about The DaVinci Code and how it’s all lies and everyone’s going to believe it and people are living in a fog.
Or something.
He keeps bringing it up every week. And honestly, I am not paying attention to him or any of the folks who find controversy in the book, so I don’t know what the fuss is about. But he gave me some literature. A whole pamphlet called “A Companion Guide to The DaVinci Code.” Published by the Campus Crusade for Christ.
So the Lutherans are scared too. But I don’t know what for. I read the book on New Year’s Eve of whatever year it came out (2004?) and all I remember thinking was “man those Catholics are some goofy sonsabitches.” Isn’t that what Martin Luther thought too?
Yeah. The Lutherans are scared. And I could give a rat’s ass.