How about a "trick or treat" you little motherfuckers?

The BBQ Pit
101

Wow. Nothing like when I grew up…

When I was a kid, we’d all approach, holding hands and giggling, while our parents looked lovingly upon our darling home-made costumes, occasionally waving aside traffic, the cars filled with typically considerate folk who made an effort to look you in the eye and say “Hi, kids!” Nobody had a store bought costume - the idea of just dressing up as some silly comic book character never crossed our minds.

When we got to the homes, we composed ourselves, made sure our costumes were in place, and silently rang the doorbell; little ones in front because Halloween, of course, is for the toddlers - any 8 year-old back in 1976 knew that! :rolleyes: The door would open and we would all sing in perfect harmony, “Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat.”

We would wait with our hands by our side until offered, then hold out our bags when asked, making sure the smaller kids got first dibs on the bigger candy because, remember, Halloween is for the little ones. Hell, as for myself, I never noticed the difference between black licorice, sticky candy corn, and full-sized candy bars - it was all the same to me! (I once heard a rumor about one ungrateful, selfish little boy who actually remembered which houses gave out the “bad” candy from year to year - imagine that!)

Sometimes the home wouldn’t have candy - since we were raised better back then, we instinctively knew to offer the poor folk some of our candy: they probably wouldn’t take it, of course, but our 7 year-old hearts knew that it would make them happy if we just offered, so we took every chance we could to give our candy away to those less fortunate.

After saying “Thank you” while maintaining eye-to-eye contact, we waited until we were dismissed, then filed down the walkway, to the driveway to the street, never walking on their grass, cutting across lawns - how rude! We would then walk with our parents, respectfully answering their questions, waiting until they gave permission for us to approach another house.

… Yeah, these kids today sound horrible, nothing like the Halloweens I remember.

102

So you grew up in Pleasantville? :smiley:

103

Apparently, we all did. :wink:

104

Also, I can’t be the only one who was let off the parental leash by the age of 8, can I? My sis and I used to trick or treat with the neighbourhood gaggle, sometimes splitting off just the 2 of us. I’d like to say this was a result of growing up in BFE Quebec but I’ve seen plenty of elementary school aged children sauntering around with 3 or 4 friends in Lexington too so it can’t just be my lax parents or a rural childhood.

105

We live at the top of a very steep hill in a neighborhood devoid of kids, so when we set up for Halloween last year, we were disappointed to not get a single ToTer.

So naturally, this year, I had the porch light on but didn’t really think about the night at all, per se. Then… “Ding Dong!” Crap!

We ended up getting 7 that night (split among 3 parties) which is 7 more than I was expecting. Hope they were happy with the Weight Watcher chocolates and South Beach Diet Bars…

106

I had a mixed bag. Most surprising, to me, were the two or three who *didn’t bother to dress up, just went around in sweatshirts and jeans.
My favorite costume was a zombie cheerleader, towards the end of the evening. She got a double handful.
And there was one tiny kid–two, three maybe–in an adorable lion costume who actually roared when I answered the door. If there’s anything cuter than a toddler pretending to be a big scary lion, I don’t want to know what it is. :smiley:

107

…speaking of days of yore, when I was a nipper in the 1960’s half the neighbors gave out store bought candy, and the other half gave homemade treats in little wax paper bags or wrapped in celophane. Popcorn balls, cookies, candy apples, brownies. Of course, we did not realize how close we came from being murdered by poison and razor blades back then. :rolleyes: Heck I also remember pretty much being on my own from 7 or 8 years old on.

108

I’m jealous-we don’t have traditional trick or treaters around here anymore. It’s pretty much been phased out in favor of “safer” community activities. It’s rare to see more than a few houses with porch lights on around here. :frowning: Instead, we have “Trunk or Treat” which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like–a bunch of cars arranged in a circle in a church parking lot with their trunks open and full of candy. The one we take the kids to every year had over a 1000 kids this year. It’s turned into quite a big production, they had a DJ, a giant slide, two firetrucks for the kids to climb in, live music, giveaways (they gave away bikes and a dirtbike!) and the kids each got about 3 pounds of candy.

Despite all that I still miss the door to door trick or treating.

109

That would probably have been good for when I was little, and lived in an area that wasn’t suited to trick or treating. (Which is why I went to my cousins’. Well, that and it was more fun to go with them).

110

Our “prize winners” were a bunch of 7-ish year old kids yelling “trick or treat, smell my feet…” as they pounded on the door (no need to bother with the doorbell, I guess…). The leader of the group was a screeching kid who shoved his whole arm into the bowl and started flailing it around trying to grab fistfuls of candy. I said, “Look, pal…” and stared at the adults behind him with disapproval. They just stood there like a bunch of ignorant morons. There was one woman with a baby standing among the other adults who looked as horrified as I was. She let them all go ahead. The kids obviously didn’t belong to her.

Bunch of little jerks.

111

I instruct my brothers at 8:00 or so that it’s time to stop ringing the bell and start knocking lest the house has little ones already in bed.

We covered five (all the way around) blocks in two hours and ended with a grand total of 13 pounds of candy between the two of them, plus one candy bar given to me. I solved the ToT and ty issues by letting them know beforehand that any candy received without giving a greeting or saying thanks defaulted to me. The 8 year old forgot twice, and the 11 year old only forgot once.

I’m an evil one: my candy cut is as big as theirs. There’s a reason I’m willing and eager to escort them about. :smiley:

112

I gave up handing out candy four years ago when I first moved here, held a pumpkin carving party the day before and had my place all set and ready with big bowls of candy and no one came.

My roommate came home today with stories of ToTing with his family. Apparently the way it works is, soccer-parents have lists of the best neighborhoods, they shove the kids in one or two of the family’s SUV’s, hit the free candy at the mall or other public “safe” place, then they hit the rich neighborhoods (up-scale apartment complexes are even more efficient) and it’s somewhat of a brawl. Kids literally pushing each other down in the race to get the most loot, with the soccer-parents looking on approvingly. “Don’t let that 4-year-old with the crutches get ahead of you, knock her down!” Costumes optional. “Trick or Treats & Thank Yous” are simply a way of oppressing children’s individuality and self-esteem; therefore currently discouraged. “Just give up the free candy, bitches!”

The whole thing’s gotten pretty sad.

JohnT is evidently whooshing, but his “recollection” of the holiday is a lot closer to what I remember it being like. Okay, we did have the razor blade and needle scare, but mom going through the candy was part of the ritual.

Thinking back on it after all these years I wonder how much that bitch stole. “Oh, this one looks suspect. I better take it.”

113

Those are the ones you give the fossilized, year old Tootsie Rolls to. The regular kids get the mini candy bars.

My mom turns the lights out and stops answering the door after 8:00 or so. She figures all the little kids should be in bed and she’s not going to support the losers that trick-or-treat after they turn 15.

114

They do this around here too and it ticks a lot of people off. You’ll see a huge van stop at the end of the cul-de-sac and it turns into a freaking clown car as about 15 children get out.

Some of these kids have been recognized as not even living within 10 miles of here. Not that that’s a problem, but just makes you wonder how much area they cover.

115

Amen for this thread! I also get the kids that see me handing out the candy, then just reach in and try to get a whole handful!

Getting kids to say TOT is like pulling teeth. For an added frustration, tell them trick.

116

I had the biggest problem with this with the teenagers. I would just hold the bowl of candy close to me, and say “No candy until you say it” (I’d say this with a smile on my face); when they looked at me like I was nuts I said “Yep. I’m grumpy!” But I did not hand out candy without the magic words! :slight_smile:

117

My cousin went as a paper bag every year.

Every year, she’d take a paper grocery bag, cut shoulder indentations and eyeholes, and decorate the front. All of her siblings also went as paper bags.

I never did like her mother, making her kids look like the Unknown Comic.

118

I completely disagree with you. I think that if a person really does need to take a pill or volunteer at a kitchen or do some major activity to get something off their mind, then THAT would be a big deal. Therapy? You think going to therapy for some dickhead kids and fucked up parents would show more stability than simply talking to peers about some insignificant thing via the internet??? You actually suggest going to therapy like that would mean some person was LESS fucked up than posting on the internet? Are you fucking serious? If you are, then you’re an idiot. Posting on a message board is about the equivalent of talking to coworkers in the lobby or some shit.
Have you never bitched about some minor thing to your friends? Or do you just go crying to your shrink anytime some cuts you off in traffic? That makes you somehow better adapted to life than people who simply want to chat about something?

When your friends (do you have any?) bring up something bad that happened to them that day for a topic of discussion, do you get all high and mighty and tell them to go read a book, or feed some homelss and get it out of their fucking skull? Or do you simply share similar experiences with them and share the type of conversation that normal human beings have. Geeez…

Go fuck yourself.

119

I have no problem with people posting petty concerns. Try directing your rage at someone who actually thinks what you’re pissed off about. I have a problem with this specific petty concern being symptomatic of the general plague of arrogant, entitled joy-haters.

120

**Bear_Nenno
**
Bear, sorry I didn’t get back to you a couple of days ago with the end of the joke (the third one ducked). Some kiddies came to the door and then it was time for “HOUSE” so I went off line. I saw later that someone else had replied, so I just let it go. PAX.

And: Happy, Merry HalloThanksHanKwanzanaMas. (sincerely)

And Ensign, maybe you need the chill pill more than B. N.