Burn it - wrap the tightly body in sheet strips, smear with lard/tallow (particularly round the head and feet), wrap again and light one end. The wick effect will slowly (24-48 hours) consume the body reducing it to ash - there may not even be many bones left.
Si
That is why you need to bury it deep. Also, it would make some sense to dig the hole previously to the time you’d actually need it. That way the game warden stumbling across you digging the hole doesn’t find the body next to it waiting to fill it.
Re. Police Dogs. Which woods would they be searching and why? If you are talking the ones out behind the victims barn, then yeah, I’d be worried about them finding the body. Somewhere 200 miles away, not so much.
In my state? Hardly. We recently had a ‘cold’ case they finally ‘solved’ after something like 15 years. The guy confessed way back when but they said it wasn’t enough evidence and it took them all this time to gather enough to finally charge him. :rolleyes:
My ass would be somewhere they couldn’t extradite before they gathered enough evidence, if and when they got off their asses and found the body.
We have the laziest, dumbest cops in the nation here.
I don’t worry about police dogs. I worry about dogs like mine, who’d like nothing better than to stumble out of the bush and present me with a femur that they’d found.
Good dog.
If your dog digs holes 6’ deep, then it is of the ‘prairie’ variety, not a canine.
Another option, based on an indian tribe’s tradition: haul the body way up in a tree and secure it to the trunk/some lines with some sort of net/mesh.
The birds and bugs will find it but no risk of some pesky dog retrieving inconvenient parts of it.
Bonus: up there the winds will blows the odors away quickly, also lessening chances someone will notice.
Good point. We’ll have to get rid of you, too.
FWIW, I would use the mesh bag/chicken wire weighted down with cinder block and then dump the body into some deep water (slash open the belly to allow gas to escape). Or just de-flesh the bones and bury them under a tree as described - the flesh can go into a dumpster a couple of towns over.
Regards,
Shodan
I see a few problems with this, not the least of which are the smell, and the sound of smoke detectors.
I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.
Are you sure you are on the correct thread?
Post #9
Post #21
I was wondering if you two lived near the same cemetery.
Nobody outbid the reserve price?
My first though would be to just bury it somewhere in the forest, then I realize that around here it would be almost impossible to dig deep and fast enough by hand, digging in moraine just isn’t any fun. So I would probably just dump it in a lake or possibly an old mineshaft, not sure if there is any really suitable for it but there are several old mines in the area.
But one thing I remember reading about was a case in the sixties where a murderer disposed of a body by incinerating it in masonry heaters, he had access to a building with three them and managed to completely dispose of the body in one afternoon, as an extra bonus the building itself was about to be torn down so the crime scene was also destroyed.
The police didn’t believe that you could actually do it in that time frame when he later confessed, so they had test it with a pig.
I thought there was something wrong with the way my mind works, but I told two people, not at the same time, a story and they both asked me the same question…
As I noted in the gardening thread, I’ve planted two pansy gardens at the end of the driveway. The property was a state park until 15 or 20 years ago. Anyway, as I was digging holes for the newer plants, I unearthed a piece of shower curtain. My first thought was, “Oh shit, I hope I don’t find a body,” which I immediately realized was morbid even if a state park was a good place to bury a body.
To my relief, both people I told the above asked, “were you worried that you were going to find a body?” so we might all be twisted and broken, but it’s not just me!
Anyway, what sort of person are we talking about? If it’s a stranger, someone with no assocations with me that the police would key in on, well there’s two acres back here that no one ever goes on…
That would have been my first thought too. Thanks, AttackMum.
Many times I remember being in some wild unspoiled spot with my mother and her turning to me with a sparkle in her eyes and saying in a chipper voice with her Australian accent: “This would be a perfect place for a murder”.
So far it has just been a generic body, you know, the kind you just sort of wind up needing to get rid off. In fact, the emphasis seems to be very narrowly on the ‘getting rid of’ part, since some of the chopping up ideas have assumed no CSI investigation.
I’m looking at you si_blakely, and your big corpse doobie. 
If you drive through some of the poorer regions of Appalachia, you’ll see hillsides just off the edge of the road virtually encrusted with decades-deep accumulations of trash and junk. People obviosly never walk about there, let alone clean up. A whole body could be wrapped in a rug and thrown over such an embankment and it would never be found. If one lacks the physical strength to throw a whole body, wrapped pieced are easier to throw for distance and can be distributed over several such sites.
Drop body in piranha tank. Works every time. Hypothetically.
In his novel JPod, Doglas Coupland describes a method where you bury the body just agains the newly poured foundation of a home under construction. Nobody notices the already churned up earth, and the landscaping will finish the job nicely for you. I always thought it was the best combination of feasibility and effectivenes I had seen.
One of the most prolific killers ever caught, Richard Kuklinsky, used a cave with a native colony of rats. He would dump the body and three days later even the bones would be gone. He would video the process too, to prove his “Job” had been completed. For an extra fee, he would bind his victims, make superficial cuts, and have them be eaten alive. It’s documented in the book Ice Man
I know a nice embankment about half a tank of gas (and 3-4 hours) away from where I live. No tolls on the way, all major highways. Drive there in the evening while minding the speed limit, toss the body off, drive back. You’re home before dawn, and even if they find the body it’ll be ages before they link it to the missing person 3 states away. By then memories and physical evidence will be crap.
Alternatively:
Find a relatively open and isolated field a few hours from your house. Drive the body there late at night. Smear with tallow, douse with gasoline. Toss the match and drive off. Assuming you’re not seen in the 10 minutes you’re on site, they’ll never link you to the place. Possibly you’ll start a forest fire, but if you’re a murderer you probably don’t mind.
In either case you probably want to burn the fingerprints and take a hammer to the teeth first.
Ditto for the Fargo dudes.
AttackMum stories:
On a train through Europe with “AttackMum” she watched the ticket-checker work his way forward through the train but never saw him come back and so she automatically assumed that he had been murdered somewhere ahead of us on the train.
I guess I would be “AttackBro2” Since I am Attack from the Third Dimension’s older brother and I have another brother older than myself. And very suspisiously we have the exact same mother.