I just have to respond to this one. We moved into this house in about 1980 or so. We are in a very rural, woodsy area, and the dirt road that leads to our house continues past our driveway to meander into 80 acres of woodsy swampland. From the first time we explored the area, I have said that it would be a great place to dump a body; nobody ever goes back there–gators live back there, the mosquitoes are thick in summer, there is no reason whatsoever for anyone to go there, and there’s lots and lots of standing water. Too bad I don’t know anybody looking to dump a body, because I have the PERFECT PLACE.
I’m with the wood chipper, but I’d buy it out of state from a newspaper ad with cash.
There’s gotta be some way to put the…pate’…under a concrete slab. Perhaps in the same state where I bought the chipper.
Feeding the chipped remains to a pig is good, too.
Here in Southern California, people have had a multitude of ways to successfully dispose of bodies. We’ve had people buried in Angeles National Forest whose bones are occasionally discovered years later after they wash out in a rainstorm, bodies tossed in the desert where the varmints pick away the flesh in a matter of days and scatter the bones over a wide (sometimes miles wide) area, and of course the Pacific Ocean where merely dumping a body overboard a few miles out in the California current will wash it far out to sea, never to be found again (and a body in dark clothes is next to near impossible to spot in the water unless you’re almost right on top of it).
The guys that buried Hoffa in Giant Stadium were smart. Cops aren’t going to destroy a 100 million dollar structure looking. They aren’t even certain he’s there.
go to a construction site the night before the pilings and foundation are poured. Dump the body in the hole. They’d have to tear down an office building to find it.
The college I went to had a sewage facility as part of its ecology science studies. We toured it once – rather neat. Anyway, it had massive grinders, then the results when through various pools with fish and other lifeforms to chow on the results, and then various pools with bacteria colonies and settling tanks and aeration tanks and what all. In the end they had sludge that got incinerated (on-site) and water clean enough to empty into a river. The entire process took just a couple of days, and the body stopped looking anything like a human body within a minute of hitting the grinders.
I thought at the time that the night watchman could make a pretty penny offering neat and clean disposal services. 
Practical tip: The only catch is non-biological stuff on/in the body. So make sure you remove dentures/filled teeth/artificial joints and the like. For them, well, smash them up well and toss into any dumpster.
Had a friend working on the garbage trucks in my town and he said they’re fitted with a camera that feed through to the cab so they can see what’s going in. Not sure if it’s for safety reasons (to stop the odd drunk or homeless guy getting crushed) or if it is related to the recycling program (council will fine you if you dump non-recyclables in the recycling bins).
There are a lot of places around here to dispose of bodies where they’d rot away long before anyone would stumble across them, if they ever did.
The problem would be transporting them and not leaving any evidence in my car, or getting in and out without anyone seeing me and remembering if they ever happened to be discovered and connected to me in any way.
There are cliffs all along the highway here that drop off into trees and nothingness…anyone driving by who smelled anything would assume it was a wild pig or a dog that got hit by a car and wouldn’t even bother to investigate. We’ve had people go off the road and stay missing for days and even weeks sometimes when they left the road just right and didn’t leave enough evidence that there was an accident.
Seems like it could be fairly easy to just toss a body (or parts) over if you did it just right.
I figure you can’t count on a body staying hidden in the woods. As was pointed out, the police have dogs that are trained to locate bodies by scent.
Also it’s a bad idea to bury a body on your property. Who do you think the police are going to want to talk to first if they find it?
Same thing with using anything that belongs to you like your car or your wood chipper. Television exaggerates but some of what you see on CSI is true. They can work with miniscule clues like a single hair or a drop of blood. And is somebody’s missing and presumed dead and the police find their blood in your car trunk, you’re not going to be able to deflect their interest.
And never get a second person involved in any crime.
That’s one advantage of a career working in prisons - I know all the bad ways to commit a felony.
You people will never get away with it now that you’ve posted your plans on the Internet.
I’d buy a bunch of theseand let my neighbors do the explaining.
I am going to rely on human nature; and that most CSI -type stuff is not usually done.
I’d say drop it off in the most high crime part of the city, especially after a series of drive-bys or other murders. Rarely any security cameras. A culture of non-cooperation with police. Nobody really willing to come forward and say they saw anything, even if they did. What’s one more dead body to the worn out cops in this neighborhood? Even if they suspect something, they’ll start with the leads in that area.
Unless you did something weird to the person while they were alive. Standard shooting/stabbing/clubbing… take the corpse to a bad neighborhood.
Eventually, this entire thread will collapse under the weight of a thousand bad puns and no one will ever know it existed.
That’s not true across the board. Many Catholic cemeteries “rent” the plot for a period of 100-150 years and after the time is up they dis-inter the body with a priest’s supervision and bury the remains in a communal grave.
Obviously, the family is given the option to renew the lease before this happens (if they can be located).
In Pulp Fiction they take the body to a scrapyard that has those machines that crush cars into little cuboids. Put the body in the trunk of a beater, crush it up. There will be some blood for sure, but it will be mixed up with whatever oil and other fluids come out as well.
Only problem it requires that you own one of those crushers, otherwise it requires complicity.
It’s a fair amount of work to dig a hole big enough to fit a person in, and deep enough to not be uncovered by wildlife or erosion. And its unusual enough an activity that if someone sees you digging a hole in the ground, they’ll probably remember it if the cops come asking questions later. And of course it’ll look like someones been digging there recently if someone walks by the spot close to the time you finished burying your victim.
Using an already dug hole at a construction site or graveyard, as others mentioned, is probably a better idea, but such places are usually fenced off and sometimes have security, and sneaking around and climbing fences with 200 lbs of dead people and a shovel without getting caught is pretty risky (err,or so I hear).
Agree the Dexter plan is probably best, but of course its dependent on living on a coast line and owning your own boat.
There’s a scene in Molôn Labé! where someone had to dispose a body. He dug a hole in the ground, poured 50 gallons of Drano in the hole, threw the body in it, and then filled it in.
Hmmm…
I would bury it under the flagstones next to my dirt driveway. It is the most secure and inconspicuous place I can possibly think of. I’m putting that it writing.
Therefore, if I am ever suspected of murder and/or disposing of a body, and that spot is searched but no body is found, I can’t possibly have anything to do with the supposed corpse. QED.
All of you people who are putting so much stock in the body-grinding power of wood-chippers must not have seen Fargo. There’s no way I’ll be trying that!
Depends upon where you live.
This might work in Illinois, but in Las Vegas, we have to use a pick-axe to plant a small shrub (no joke). Digging in the ground here is like digging a hole in asphalt at your local WalMart parking lot!
However, because it is a desert, supposedly Mafia would take people/bodies out to the outer rims of Las Vegas and just dump the body. From the heat and critters, well, you would be just a bunch of bones really quickly. Granted, if you drove far enough away, chances are nobody would ever find the body in your lifetime - but I suppose if it were discovered (thanks CSI: Las Vegas) they could use dental records or DNA to determine the name of the victim and maybe link it back to you, or whomever.
Then there are idiots: a woman left her dead, mummified, husband in a storage locker here - and stupidly forgot to pay one month - the storage locker was opened and contents were auctioned - guess what happened?
I wouldn’t be able to chop one up, but I do know where there is a very big hole. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are already a few bodies down there, but I’ve no intention of climbing down to find out.
And “No!”, I’m not telling you where it is. Find your own hole!