I think that the “Men are big babys”, legend is just another part of advertisers/sitcoms theme of men can’t multi task, are idiots around the house and are generally helpless, while women get everything done .
Yes there are men like that, I’ve met them.
But they generally don’t have jobs.
Well not for long anyway.
Majority of commercials typically portray men as the weaker, stumbling , whining sex.
IMO both genders have the same tolerance for pain and sickness. Myself, when I’m ill the last thing I want is people fawning over me. I just want to be left alone.
Actually men seem to have the higher tolerance for pain:
The legend seems to be completely the opposite of reality.
Part of the reason for the perception is that people tolerate signs of weakness from women moreso than from men. If a male complains about a cold he is more likely to be seen as a whiner or a baby. Witness the recent thread about what you’d think if you saw a male crying, a substantial portion of Dopers would think that he was unstable or overly emotional.
I’m not really sure about the premise in the OP, but I can tell you this: I don’t have any other choices. The animals have to be cared for whether I’m sick or healthy. Certain things have to happen, in terms of household hygiene. I have to go out and get orange juice and OTC meds and whatnot because there is nobody else to do it. I have to get out of bed and go heat up some soup because there is nobody else to heat it up for me. I would love to lie around in bed all day and have someone else take care of my obligations and responsibilities, but it will never happen. So I don’t think it’s about women can tolerate illness better than men; it’s just that some people have a choice and are able to lean on someone else for support.
I don’t think there is an inherent difference. Anyone who has had to stay home and take care of a small child while sick themselves, though, is going to feel stabby about anyone else slacking off even a tiny bit when sick, though… and women are more likely to be the ones taking care of the kids.
The explanation I’ve read is essentially: “gullible women really respond to that sort of thing”. Or at least advertisers believe they do. When you’re dealing with a product like cold medicine, you have a double-whammy of showing the man laid low (“Colds are serious. Buy our product to make them easier to endure.”), and the tough caretaker woman (flattering the member of the household most likely to do the choosing of cold medicine).
The way most people wear them (without covering their noses), not at all.
IME it’s a matter of practice. Someone like my classmate Ana who had the Worst Periods Ever would think of a high-fever flu as “bothersome”: she’d stay in bed and drink plenty of fluids, worry about classnotes (until she got the message that we were handling it), but not whine. Someone like my Grandparents from Hell, both of whom had stainless steel healths? Seeing someone sneeze twice would send them into a fit; themselves sneezing? The end of the world. And yet, he once walked several miles to the hospital with a burst appendix… being a whiny baby when you have a cold apparently doesn’t mean you can’t also be stupidly macho when it really is ambulance time.
I (and most of the men I deal with) are very infrequently ill or feel bad; mine usually is on the order of once a year most of the time, 2-3 times a year in a bad year, and that’s for maybe 3-4 days each time.
Between allergies, migraines, monthly issues, colds, etc… my wife seems to feel bad in some fashion for about a week and a half a month. She’s usually not sick any more than I am, but seems to have a bunch of vague issues like migraines and allergies that she can’t get any doctors to actually remedy.
So she’s better at working through the discomfort- she surpasses my annual under-the-weather days in the span of 2-3 months.
I can function when I feel like crap, but why? I’d just as soon lay there on the couch watching TV and be wretched, than get up and function and be wretched. What’s the point when it’s like 3-4 days a year in most years?
My take on it is that when a man acts all fussy, it seems un-macho and thus ripe for humour but if a woman acts that way it’s less funny. Hence why you see sitcoms or jokey commercials talking about “man-colds”, etc.
Very true - back when mrAru was active Navy and we didn’t have a roomie, I can remember being sick and my diet for almost 2 weeks was water and microwave popcorn - basically I could drag myself into the kitchen and prop myself up long enough to make a bag of popcorn and refill a bottle of water, and use the bathroom. If he didn’t have a liking for the cases of the damned popcorn from BJs and have a couple different flavors of it onhand, not sure what I would have done once I had gone through the canned soups and stuff in the fridge. Thank ghu the sheep had a large enough paddock and an autowaterer.
I think that you’re programmed as a child on your tolerance to illness.
In my home as a child there was very low sympathy to illness, as was the case with most post war Brits.
Your parents had to carry on as usual during the blitz, so if we were ill it was a case of suck it up and still go to school, or if you were really ill, you stayed in bed, in your bedroom until you were fit to go back to school.
As a kid this was incredibly boring, so you couldn’t wait to get better.
And there was no mum running up and downstairs to see to your needs every five minutes.
As a result your subconscious IMO tends to make you shrug off illness as much as possible if it hits you, and recover quickly.
But a friend of mine was allowed downstairs to sit in the frontroom to play with games and watch tv when it came on, and was given a lot of “My poor little baby” from his mum, and little treats.
Result his subconscious now looks on potential illness as a pleasant time in store, as an adult, even the mildest infection puts him on his back, and he has every allergy known to man, (And some that aren’t)
They say that if you’re happy your immune system is stronger and vice versa, I think that if you pander to your child when he/she’s ill you’re doing them a major disservice for the future.
Not been my experience at all women handle illness better then men. My wife is an exception to any rule relevant to whining, she’s a Finn and Finns never whine. In our circle its about equal who complains and who doesn’t. Though I will say I can tolerate women whining more then I can tolerate men especially where my male friends are concerned, very unappealing indeed.
Oh, not at all. Or rather not necessarily. You can still have all those symptoms and just have a garden-variety cold of some sort and I won’t go to work under those circumstances either. Flu is generically pretty similar, it’s just the severity is approximately times a million ( well, it feels that way ). The way I could immediately tell the last time I had the flu, besides how incredibly ill I ended up getting, was the insanely rapid onset of just a few hours from nothing at all to serious fever/tooth-chattering chills. Colds seem to build much more slowly.
Heck yes…All of what you said is true.
I had the enormous good fortune of having parents who didn’t tolerate whininess for minor ailments but showed unending love and care when the hurt was real. Those lessons tend to stick with you.
I also had flu…real flu…when I was 10. Two weeks in bed. Severe fever, cramps, sweating, joint pain, chesty cough, sneezes, headaches, puking, the squits. Followed by another two weeks of low level symptoms. Took me the best part of two months to get back to normal.
Again. That really helps a boy (and his surrounding family) calibrate their “ill-ometer”
If the OP’ premise is valid (which I am not sure of) my personal take is that it may be a matter of how we communicate. Basically:
Woman/moderately sick, can drag herself to work: says she is sick , works
Woman/more sick: says she is sick, seeks rest and/or treatment
Man/moderately sick, can drag himself to work: works.
Man/more sick: says he is sick, seeks rest and/or treatment.
I see this with my SO and me: she is no crybaby but she mentions when she feels under the weather but is able to function. I do not because no action is required. (and mentioning it would just lead to a pointless conversation).
I suspect the differential between amorphous, at-home, 24/7 work of running a household and caring for children and delineated, off-site employment is indeed the source of the impression. People who have to care for small children can’t take a day off because they’re sick, and those people are much more likely to be women. So when they see their husbands able to call in sick and surf the couch for a day or two, taking on none of the household responsibilities the woman winds up sucking up and doing when she’s sick, it’s very noticeable and resented.
Also, I honestly think women are more likely to talk to our friends and complain about our husbands. My mothers’ group on Facebook discusses the arrival of man colds regularly and with sympathetic frustration. I don’t really imagine a bunch of dudes griping about their spouses in the same way. (BTW, to undermine a gender stereotype, I also think a mothers’ group of 30-40 year old women is probably far, far raunchier talking about sex than any male group in a locker room ever thought of being!)
Of course, that’s all generalization, and I doubt it means women are actually tougher in any objective way.
Support, I think, for those saying it’s because men are expected to be stoic while the weakness of women is excused.
Of those 140-days-for-men and 189-days-for-women, how many were ‘calling in sick to take care of someone else’? (A child, elderly parent, or spouse).
It would be interesting to know if those numbers differed by the gender of the worker.
There are plenty of reliable studies that show men are less likely to seek medical intervention for illness than women.
This is a significant problem, because when they do, the issue is more difficult to treat , more expensive and leads to higher mortality from cancers.
Low level diabetes is another one, men are less likely to be diagnosed early simply because they are less inclined to seek medical assistance and try to soldier on.
There have been many public health campaigns in the UK advising men to get periodic check ups, feel about themselves, and take more problems to their GPs.
The idea that men in general are more likely to take time off when ill is sadly a myth, and unfortunately costs lives, anything that perpetuates or reinforces this idea that men are health wimps is actually pretty dangerous and we should do what we can to dispel it.
Men are largely not incompetent incapable husbands with little ability to plan coherently, not able to operate a household budget, and numerous other idiotic stereotypes. All of us are subject to such stereotypes and societal expectations, this particular one is quite nasty since it can and does lead to serious chronic illness.