You Are NOT Sicker Than Me! (A rant--CrankyAsAnOldMan, read this!)

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m a family woman. Got a husband and kids. When one of us gets a cold, it usually gets picked up by at least one other person in my house, if not all of us.

Unless, of course, that person happens to be my husband.

He NEVER gets a regular cold. Oh no.

We’ve recently been dealing with a particularly bad cold. All of us had it. No wait–I and the children had colds. My husband is, as usual, shaking hands with his God.

IT’S A FUCKING COLD! TAKE SOME DRUGS AND MOVE ON, DAMMIT!

Man! He doesn’t seem to understand that I know PRECISELY how he feels. I had the exact same thing, for fuck’s sake! There is no need for me to make sure you have life insurance! I know you feel like seven shades of dog fuck! But you are not going to meet your maker because of this damn cold! Unless, of course, you don’t STOP this incessant pissing and moaning. Then maybe I’ll be able to convince the cops that it was the cold that did you in, and not the pillow over your face.

Fuck! The KIDS didn’t even whine like this! And me? I didn’t even miss work! I suppose that’s the reason that he didn’t even notice that I was sick until after I’d already been sick for a fucking WEEK. Yeah. A week.

Yes, I’m a bit snappish. Dealing with HIS whiny ass is MAKING ME CRAZY!

You are NOT sicker than me, dammit! You are AS SICK as I was, and you are progressing NORMALLY. Your symptoms are occuring in the SAME order that they occurred in me, your son, and your daughter. They are GOING AWAY in the same order. So SHUT UP! It will be GONE soon! Just take another hit off the Robitussin bottle and SHUT UP! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

[sub]Don’t misunderstand–I am sympathetic to people with colds. Colds suck. It’s the whining so hard that the kids are looking at you and saying “geez Dad, it’s not that bad!” that drives me up the freaking wall.[/sub]

2

Thank heavens that when the LIONsob is ill he generally goes to bed and sleeps. There is little whining. Of course the Ny-Quil may account for that :smiley: .

Men just don’t do suffering well at all. I would hate to see what a man who pregnant with a case of morning sickness, swollen ankles and raging hormones would be like.
That’s why we have the kids, we can deal we have to. But a man would stay in bed crying the entire 9 months.

Women are the weaker sex my ass !

3

Persephone

Oh, yep, I can empathize. I have no idea why men (myself included) frequently are illness whimps. Pain’s ok, we can deal with pain most times. Illness on the other hand… that’s bad.

Though I think your husband’s disfunction is a bit worse than most I have heard of. For me, when I get sick, I become a major hermit. Don’t talk to me, don’t try and nurse me to health, just make sure the path to the bathroom’s clear of obsticals and the pantry’s well stocked. I’ll be huddled up in bed or sitting bleary eyed in front of the computer going through kleenex and trying to let my body fight this crap off.

Have you ever talked to him about this tendency when he’s healthy?

And one more thing… Bad, Persephone, Bad, Bad, Bad Persephone don’t you be dragging your sick sorry self into an office I’m working in so that I can get exposed to those yucky germs too. Keep your butt home until your healthy.

-Doug

4

Let’s face it…married men are pussies when they get sick. My theory is, speaking from experience, men want to be mothered and when they get sick, it’s about the only time it’s gonna happen. Hell, I know that I hardly ever get sick but when I DO, I’m the biggest, most whiny-ass pussy in the world. And proud of it too!

All kidding aside though, I hope yer hubby gets his ass better soon Persephone…

Bill

5

Ayesha: Oh, you are SO right about the pregnancy thing. OH boy. No way they could do that.

dublos: I wish it were that simple. In my house, I’m the breadwinner. My husband is a stay-at-home dad, except for some weekend nights when he gigs with his band. When I’m sick, I try to stay home if I’ve got enough sick time accumulated at work. If I don’t, and I stay home anyway, I don’t get paid. Trust me–going to work sick is not something I WANT to do. Especially with this last cold. It lasts for over a week. I just cannot miss a whole week of work. If I could afford it, believe me, I would be SO out of there. Oh, and yes, I’ve tried to talk to him about it when he’s healthy. Then he just gets pouty, and goes in to denial. :rolleyes:

xploder: Since you’re one of my best friends, I can say this to you–you’re just a pussy all the time.

::fleeing::

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I guess I really am what I eat!

7

Maybe you should tape hime when he’s sick, like with people who deny they snore. Or better yet, videotape him, and play it at your next party.

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Oooohhhhh Lordy. i’m there with you.

My husband and I both got TERRIBLE flus this winter, right over New Year’s. My boy had a aches, pains, chills, nausea…all the perks. I felt bad for him, pampered him, mothered him like I know he digs…and then, BAM…jarbaby gets the flu. Only along with mine comes 102 fever. So I take the day off of work and just lay on the futon with my codeine.

Boy comes home from work…SHAKES ME AWAKE and says…

wait for it…

wait for it…
WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO MAKE DINNER?

Fantastic. I told him to go fuck himself.

We’re in love.

jarbaby

9

I guess, though I had never really considered this issue before. When I am sick I do not want to be mothered. I do not want to be pampered. I do not want to be taken care of. And I certainly don’t whine (I hate whining.) I just want to be left alone to cope until I get better (without medication if at all possible, thank you very much.) Drives my wife crazy, sometimes, because she really wants to take care of me.

She likes being pampered when she is sick, and I like pampering her. So that side of the equation works out just fine.

Oh, and I have immense sympathy for the pain of childbirth, but my threashold for pain and discomfort is much higher than my sife’s – almost to the point of self-destruction, at times.

Hey, I never said I was smarter.

10

I’m on day four of the yuck, and I agree with Dublos: Leave me alone.

I’ve been averaging about 14 hours of sleep per day (thank you, Nyquil), and I’m feeling better.

Now, if I could only focus my eyes and my ears would stop ringing.

11

Pers, see practice makes perfect. That was a downright dandy rant! Hope Tim’s feeling better soon, so you can have some peace and quiet! :smiley:

jar, man, with that comment, I hope you took a Tazer to his butt!

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jarbabyj, a most appropriate response.

Now, I believe that your husband and mine are in very similar situations. My husband has sleep apnea as well, so when he does get a cold, it makes it a bit more difficult to breathe at night. I accept and understand this situation as well.

But dammit, GO TO BED ANYWAY. I KNOW you don’t like going to bed early. I KNOW you’re a musician, and your body clock is different than mine. But when you insist on STAYING UP until 3 am ON A WEEKDAY when you’re NOT working, and you’re TIRED as all FUCK, GET YOUR ASS IN BED WHERE YOU BELONG. Don’t stay up and fucking WHINE about how tired you are! You’re falling asleep on the couch! You’re falling asleep at the computer! FUCK! Go to BED! This is an EASY one! Deity helps those who help themselves, and so does Persephone. You want to sit there and whine, without trying to do any of the common-sense-handed-down-to-Moses-as-the-eleventh-commandment-tried-and-true cold symptom relievers? Fine. Whine away. But don’t expect anything resembling sympathy from me. I’ll quit telling you to shut the hell up when you actually try to do something to help yourself. Dammit, even your “I’m-a-big-girl-now-I-don’t-need-a-nap” daughter voluntarily took a nap when she was sick! There’s no reason YOU can’t go to bed early!

Sheesh!

13

Yes…luckily he quickly saw the error of his ways and relinquished the remote for the remainder of the evening. Good lord is there a punishment more severe than making him sit through the Food Network? BWAHAHAHAHHAA

Testify.

Boy feels that if he’s in bed before 11:30 he’s some sort of masculine failure. Well I’ve got news for you, dollface, staying up late and then being bitchy and headachy the next day doesn’t put you high on jarbaby’s ‘spontaneous acts of sexuality’ list.

the permanent CPAP arrives this weekend Persephone, I’ll let you know how it goes! :slight_smile:

jarbaby

14

This is beautiful! I could hear your eyes rolling on this one! The fact that it’s true in my household as well just made it even funnier.

15

…must… move… self…

got to… make house… presentable…
…for …dope…fest…

clunk

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Sartan Hanazelet.

That’s the Hebrew phrase for what you’re describing. It means Snot Cancer.

I have to admit, I’ve suffered form it a few times myself - or rather, I’ve experienced it. My wife was the one who suffered.

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[hijack]

matt, we’re going to your place???

[/hijack]

18

I think I’m the other way around. I hate to even admit it when I get sick, and even when I realise and admit that I’m ill (not often), I try to go on like it wasnt there. I hate medicine, doctors, and being fussed over.
I once got something or other, a harsh lung dealy that had me so weak I could barely walk or move. My family could NOT keep me off my feet, even though I was always on the verge of collapse. I always made it, though. :smiley: So for colds, and minor things like that, I just ignore the symtoms. It’s a good thing I’m tough enough to resist most anything, 'cause if I ever got something severe I’d probably resist it to my grave…

19

Oh, by the Gods you hit it right on with this one.
Just happened to me today as a matter of fact.
My hubby comes home an hour after he left for work because you see he had a headache that was so bad he couldn’t see.
Welcome to a migraine love!
You know these are the lovely migraines that I get, and I am still expected to cook dinner and serve, and they you wonder why I am in the bathroom with my head in the toilet begging to be driven to the ER, or at least take my eyes out of my head, or better yet, my head clean off my shoulders.
He laid in bed all day and acted like he was so close to death that he could have been talking in tounges! Wimp!

Any of you ever have your gallbladder out, or appendix will do.
Gallbladders they make like six insicions all along your side and in your pubic area.
I was up the next day since you know the laundry doesn’t do itself, and of course nobody can find the stove let alone use it.
He had a toe nail removed. Um, you would have thought they removed the whole foot.

Colds, he doesn’t get em. I hate him for that.

Oh, Persephone? How young can someone get that sleep apnea, and can it be genetic? Our four year old takes long long pauses in breathing, and my husband, and my father both suffer. Like my son needs another health problem

20

Dang, I thought this was gonna be a competition in insanity! You know: “I cover myself in feces and masturbate while looking at sonograms of my siblings in the womb, beat that!!” etc.

I’ll take my mental sickness and use it to impress elsewhere… :frowning:

— G. Raven