I have often heard that the daddy longlegs spider is one of the most poisonous, if not the most poisonous, animals on Earth, but that it’s harmless because its mouthparts are too small to penetrate human flesh.
My wife is still unhappy about daddy longlegs because, as she says, “We’ve got some big ones around here.”
So, how big WOULD a daddy longlegs have to be for it to be dangerous to people? Would it have to be scaled up so that its body is the size of a ping pong ball? A softball? A football? The Goodyear blimp?
So, tell Mrs. Captor to figure out which kind of “daddy-long-legs” spiders you’ve got around your house–ten to one she’s got nothing to worry about.
And as for “how big would the venomous sort of daddy-long-legs have to be to kill people”, well, IF it were proved to have venom that was toxic to humans (which it hasn’t been, yet), and IF it were proved that its fangs were able to penetrate human skin (which it hasn’t been, yet), then I suppose it wouldn’t need to be much bigger than it already is. Other venomous spiders don’t need to be the size of a ping pong ball to kill people.
An insect scaled up to the size of a baseball would run into fundamental problems with breathing and keeping itself from collapsing in on itself (especially when molting). When you talk about volleyball size, you need some serious mutations to even envision a viable organism. And the size of a large dog? Fuhgeddaboutit. Once you’ve made that many changes, you can’t meaningfully call it an insect anymore.
There was a GQ thread that contained a post where a roach was scaled up to be six-foot tall at the shoulder. The animal underwent major modifications and still couldn’t be seen as a viable lifeform.
So we don’t know, and there’s no reason to think it would be true. Unless someone steps up to the plate and accepts a few injections, we’ll never really be sure.
Actually a substantial increase in size would not be necessary to allow the DLL to become a killer of humans—it already is. Countless safety briefings at Ft. Stewart, GA held by A CO, 124 MI Bn included the DLL amongst the fauna of concern right up there with the eastern diamond back, cottonmouth and the alligator. Several species of mosquito, mutated by US Army issue insect “repellant,” and actually attracted to it, were also routinely mentioned during the springtime. Whereas the attacks of the snakes and alligator were fairly obvious and warranted only a passing word of caution, the Daddy Long Legs’ insidious bite ritual bore detailed description to wit: Due to its notably short fangs, the DLL is capable of delivering a fatal bite only through the cornea. To do this the spider situates itself upon the crown of the head of its victim, sidle down toward the leading edge of any headgear and swing down toward the face and eyes while holding fast with its rear legs. Once the venom was delivered, a brief though agonizing death invariably ensued. Soldiers were instructed to swat any DLL seen to be assuming an attack posture with a hard object.
SNOPES, of course, debunks this myth using a smoke & mirrors argument that “nobody can really agree on what the DLL is—they must be thinking of the crane fly.”
But seriously, the DLL could very easily cause heart failure in me just by situating itself in one of several areas of my body. No venom or increase in size necessary.
OK, they’re not poisonous (that we know of) and the likelihood of their becoming huge mutant super spiders is very low (I knew that!). I was just thinking their mouthparts might not be very fang-arific so that they had trouble nibbling on us.
I’ve seen other spiders that were daddly-longleg size that had very capable looking fangs, but daddy longlegs are basically a ball. It would have to be mouthpart design, and it’s credible to me that the pholcids might have mouthparts not well adapted to human sking piercing.
We are safe for the moment, in any event. However, as a person who was once got a staple lodged in his nose when his brother fired a popgun at him, I feel I must be prepared for anything.
Well the giant evil robotic one from Johnny Quest certainly had the capacity to kill people. Heck, a direct hit from a tank blast only brushed it back slightly.
Derleth the unit in question was a military intelligence unit, they tend not to document most of what they do, and certainly don’t put documents on the internet!
But I was THERE, man! I sat in on those safety briefings while my platoon sargent, a slightly maniacal but highly decorated war veteran, gray beyond his years, fought back tears of horror and disgust as he recounted the MO of this creepy bug! Here was a man personally responsible for saving the lives of millions of Iraqi civilians from starvation during the Gulf War, if his estimates are not doubted; who single-handedly led the devastating electronic warfare attack on the Elite Republican Guard, rendering their radio and guidance systems the artillaery beacons of their own destruction, so I’ve heard! He wouldn’t lie about that spider! He just wouldn’t!
Matchka’s post sounds like the old timers at an Army base in the Deep South giving a hard time to the new kids from up nawth and from big cities. Besides, following the instructions to swat any DLL hanging from someone’s headgear, sounds like an invitation to a 3 Stooges routine, where one guy “saves” the guy being “attacked” by the DLL by bashing him in the face. Lotsa yucks for the Drill Sargents.
“attack posture”?!? Would that be the aforementioned “down toward the leading edge of any headgear and swing down toward the face and eyes while holding fast with its rear legs”?
Uhh, yeah, I’d recommend swatting the spider hanging from your helmet in front of your face too…
The creature you are referring to as the GDLL is not even a spider. And, it is called a “Harvestman”. It was given “Grand Daddy Longleg” as a nickname. Look up “Harvestman” on a search and you will find all you need to know about them. Also, they do not produce venom. They are harmless, and they emit a foul smell for protection. Here… read about them here. http://www.fcps.k12.va.us/StratfordLandingES/Ecology/mpages/harvestman.htm
My grandmother told me that when she was a little girl growing up in Texas (she was born in 1909), the story going around among the kids was that a bite on the genitals from a daddy long legs would turn a boy into a girl and vice versa. I’m not sure what was supposed to happen if you got bit twice.
Well, I’m not sure if you would consider me reliable or not, but I would like to go on record as having, my own personal self, been bitten by a Daddy Long Legs.
I was about 12 at the time, it was sometime in the summer, and I had just come in and was just kind of standing in the hallway when yeouuch there was what felt like a very sharp pinch on my arm. After jumping and yelling, and startling my father (who, btw, also remembers this incident) I looked down to see a DDL clinging to my arm. He quickly became but a smear on the floor.
I seemed to have survived it, so the whole poison thing is apparently bogus, but at least that variety can sure as hell bite.