I’ve said it for a while. Anger stems from Fear, Fear stems from Powerlessness. Anger is a tool to reclaim power.
Not true 100% of the time, but perhaps most of the time.
Think about when people are angry over politics. Why? Because there are “stupid” people who don’t think they way they want them to. They’re powerless to change that. They’re afraid of what those people want or think or do, and anger comes out to help them regain their sense of power over the situation. False power, but somewhat comforting nonetheless. Feels better being angry than afraid. Fear is too close to weakness (lack of power) Anger is “power”.
When a parent gets angry at a child, or a boss at an employee, why are they doing so? Because they’re trying to regain power over the situation, because they’re afraid that they won’t be obeyed, that their power will be usurped, because they’re afraid what might happen (kid gets hurt by not listening, worker doesn’t do their work, etc).
Yeah, people pissing you off, DrF. How so? Now I’ll be the first person to admit that I get pissed at people too for doing stupid shit. But I recognize that at some level, it is a power issue. I can’t make them do the right thing, I can’t make them not be stupid, I can’t make them stop doing whateverthefuck they’re doing that makes me uncomfortable or unhappy.
So yeah, Anger comes from Fear, but Fear is only a middle step. Anger comes from Power, or the lack thereof.
The big problem with Anger as a tool is that it isn’t a hammer, it’s Fire. It is just as hard to control and just as easy to get burned. Anger has a funny way of completely overriding our moral codes and our personal integrity and telling us it is perfectly ok to do nasty shit to punish the other person and force them to recognize our power.