Don’t dose BAD CAT without the advice of a vet. As Bad as BAD CAT is, I have a feeling you would be SAD if you killed BAD CAT accidentally.
Actually though, you can get psychoactive drugs for cats. I know you’re thinking “BAD CAT hasn’t got a brain in his head, how can he have mental problems?” But if BAD CAT’s behavior is compulsive, kitty prozac might help.
Setting that aside, have you found any thing that BAD CAT does not like? I had a cat who was immune to water guns but the crinkle of plastic grocery bags put the fear of god in him. I’ve heard of other that have had success with pennies in a metal can (shaking them).
I will say that I have a BAD CAT myself, who over the last 17 years has trained me to never, ever leave a glass unattended. We also leave the garbage in an unreachable locale (under the sink – with a babyproof lock, when he was younger.)
Thanks for sharing this! Max-cat and I are temporarily staying with my parents, and my dad is constantly complaining about Max-cat’s naughty behavior. I can’t wait to read this to my dad so he understands what a well-behaved and sweet boy Max-cat is.
First of all what you are going to want to do is truncate BAD CAT’s legs (rubber bands work well for this). In the future BAD CAT will roll from side to side for exercise. For BAD CAT’s psychological health, you will need to provide him with an uninterrupted supply of peyote. But in order to control his inevitable panic attacks, you will want to fit him with a gas mask with a steady supply of oxygen and nitrous oxide. This will weigh him down and may constrain his range of movement, so it would be convenient for both you and BAD CAT to strap him to a box fitted to a wheel chair. This way you can take BAD CAT for nice walks around the neighborhood, maybe you two can bond a little. If BAD CAT suffers allergies when exposed to outside environment, you will want to fit his gas mask with a hypoallergenic filter. If this doesn’t work, 1mg of liquid benedryl per lb of body weight can be administered. BEWARE THIS MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS AND/OR FELINE SEDATION.
Ping pong ball + bathtub + cat= much amusement for both humans and cat. And will burn some of that kittenish energy. I’m a fairly new cat owner myself, (only 5 years now) so I know a whole heck of a lot more about dogs.
But if they’re anything like dogs, even at a year or two old, they still continue to be very puppyish(kittenish), even though BAD CAT is older, he’s still physiologically a kitten. So he’s got a TON of energy, and he sounds like he’s just a more energetic cat than some.
I’m lucky, lazy Maisie, the cat that owns me, is just that…SUPER lazy. BAD CAT sounds like the aussie of cats (or maybe the Jack Russel of cats :)). Like other posters have said, you need to channel that energy, find fun things for him to do.
But then, being the lucky human owned by a lazy cat, I could be completely clueless and have NO idea what I’m talking about
Yes, he may slow down a bit in a while. It’s good if you can start teaching them manners while they are still wee things. But if BAD CAT didn’t show any early indication of this, then how would you know?
Darling Daughter used to move and have to give the latest cat to me. And she didn’t bother in those early days of ownership to discipline her kitties so they came to my house with all sorts of bad habits. (No bad cats; just bad habits.)
I had one of those water glass spillers, too. I kept a glass of water at the head of my bed on the bookshelf and when she was ready to be petted in the morning she’d dump it on my pillow and head. Soon I realized that when I responded in any way to that she was achieving her goal. I actually steeled myself to ignore her when she sneaked up and did this. Within a week she’d dropped the habit.
Perhaps cat could use a little more attention. Make it a regular thing - same time, same place so that he has that to look forward to.
No sense jumping up or raising your voice. It just make the scene more chaotic and wastes energy. It may also be reinforcing.
Speak softly, but firmly, and set him down. Speak softly, but firmly, and set him down. Speak softly, but firmly, and set him down. No further attention. Eventually it will work unless he’s psychotic.
I’ve had good luck with that, too. Cats like things that move, and are stealth hunters. A ping pong ball in a bathtub will keep bouncing and rolling long enough for the cat to study it, attack it, and start it bouncing again.
Smart cats will wait at the drain end of the tub for the ball to roll back to them.
I hissed and clapped loudly to deter my cats from doing things I didn’t want them to do - now that they’re old, they don’t jump on the kitchen counters or coffee table at all (they’re not allowed on my food prep or food eating areas). My cat was easy to train - she had a desire to please her co-habitational human. My husband’s cat was not, since she lacked that desire, but my will overrode hers. I think half of cat training is breaking them to your will, and the other half is taking away their opportunities to be bad.
BAD CAT does all the things that Cookie Monster wants to do, and would do if she were not SPECIAL NEEDS. Cookie Monster meows at food, but a simple cardboard box cover, even with a hole in it, will foil her. Cookie Monster waits at the garden door and stands at the hinge bit not the opening bit - then looks surprised when it doesn’t open how she expected it to. Every single time, for five years. Cookie Monster pulls at doors that should be pushed to make them swing open, and looks shocked when instead they close on her nose.
So yeah, BAD CAT is a genius. Encourage this genius, don’t drug it away.
That said, have you tried him on the 'nip? It can go one of two ways: it might calm him down like smack, or it might make him crazier like coke. But it’s worth a try.
Also there’s a thing called Feliway that you plug in to the wall, and it releases calming cat pheromones - my cat specialist vet swears by it.
Currently, BAD CAT is running up and down the halls, as is his morning normal. Then he plays Hitler, gathering up all his mice and batting them one by one underneath the oven. After a few hours he becomes NICE CAT for much of the day, but resumes BAD CAT around dinner. Very late night he resumes NICE CAT, but cannot sleep with us, as he morphs into BAD TUNNEL CAT shortly after the lights go out. This results in cold noses and whiskers in inappropriate places and we DO NOT WANT.
BAD CAT agrees. He is no longer running the halls, he is standing with his front paws on the laptop in my lap, and his butt right up in my face, and purring. He calls this ‘love.’ One good thing about BAD CAT is that he does purr and cuddle between bouts of badness.
Nevermind, time to be Hitler again. Mouse genocide. Time to call the UN.
We have the pheromone collar. It worked for a few hours, because it frightened him. Then he acclimated. The bastard.
Catnip= BAD CAT
Have I mentioned that during the summer BAD CAT used to push out the window panels next to the air conditioners and hop out the window to sleep on said a/c units? Which would have been funny except we live on the second floor of an old Victorian and the windows overlook a 50’ drop. Thus, BAD CAT inspired many many emergency phone calls from frightened neighbors and more than one rescue attempt from workmen with ladders.
I just realized this could be read in such a way as to suggest we love BAD CAT because he acts like Hitler, and by extension, we are condoning the actions of Hitler. :smack:
I feel compelled to tell you that we do not, in any way, support Hitler or genocide, even that of stuffed mice.
Please do not medicate BAD CAT without advice from a vet. Human drugs are not safe for cats and in the worst case could result in kidney failure.
I knew someone would recommend getting a second cat. This can go horribly wrong. My own BadCatLite terrorized my GentleCat for the first few months after they were introduced. Eight years later, they tolerate each other but they do not play together or interact much.
Disciplining a difficult cat is not always effective. My wife yells at BadCatLite and she stops what she’s doing for about 10 seconds. As soon as my wife looks away, BadCatLite resumes her activities. That’s why I think it is better to provide more interesting alternatives for the bad behavior. Your BAD CAT wants to run, chase, stomp, attack, etc. so give him more suitable targets (i.e. not the garbage or your drinks) for this behavior.
Also, the garbage can live on the back porch forever. We used an outside-style garbage can to keep our 17-year old CRABBYTABBY out of the trash. We thought it was working until a few days after Thanksgiving. She showed us .CRABBYTABBY removed the lid and was able to get out of a full sized 50 gallon garbage can with a turkey skeleton in her jaws. The garbage has lived outside for the last year and a half.
As a multi pet owner, a heavy stainless steel kitchen garbage can with a step-on-to-open lid is great. I block it with my body so my dog can’t watch me dump trash into it 9if he figures it out, I’m doomed), and my cats would have to grow many inches to be able to both step on it and reach the top simultaneously. It’s great at blocking odors, too.
I’ve had to modify the laundry chute door in the bathroom. I bought a metal dealy that makes it nearly impossible for a cat paw to sneak into. My girl cat (not a bad cat, just a curious cat) got down the chute one day. It’s no inconvenience to humans; it makes the door stick shut a little more is all.
I have a semi-bad cat. He’d steal food of my plate if allowed, but thankfully he stays out of my liquids. I drink all my water out of a Camelbak water bottle (come to think of it, I’ve sipped wine out of it too); maybe a closed bottle would be better for your drinks?
Hissing or a little canned air (never spray directly at the cat, canned air isn’t really air it’s a bunch of nasty chemicals) to back me up is my way of saying “no no bad kitty, stop it”.
But I agree with the others. BAD CAT sounds like a treasure and it would be a shame to rein in his free spirit.
I still say the best revenge on a bad cat is… another cat. Preferably younger, faster & more Nermal-y. You have a male, so get a female. They punch faster.
Yes, you’ll hear horses running up & down your halls all night long, but it takes a years for paws to wear out floors. Happiness in Cat Ownership is looking at an exhausted cat looking back up at you with a look that says, “What on Ogs Green Earth did I ever do to deserve this…!?”
That said, I’m not sure how you can stop your cat from training your neighbors, but I hear Orville Redenbacher makes a very good pop-corn.
Does BAD CAT play much by himself? I have a cat that’s a lot like BAD CAT, and he’ll play a bit, but far more if he has access to new toys on a regular basis. He’ll play a little bit with old toys (or rediscovered toys) but a new one will keep him busy for hours and hours.
It helps that I now have another pet (a small dog, who he adores and plays with constantly) but before that I used to buy him new toys and dole one out a week or so. His favorites are the little fluffy poofball things that he can toss, chase, carry around, and so on. Laser pointer time was also a good idea because we would just play until he was exhausted.
My cat also likes the trash can or scrounging for food, but (anymore) only when he’s hungry. Once I put him on the auto-feeder with 1/4 cup three times a day, he stopped that behavior entirely. It helps that he’s figured out how to get the next serving out by slowwwwwly fishing it out one kibble at a time which occupies his time for about three hours a day. He can’t get to any thing but that next serving, so in the end it’s the same amount of food except one extra meal when I fill the feeder.
He also likes dog toys. His favorite toy for a long time was this stuffing-free floppy animal. Only the head was stuffed. He would bite the neck and carry it all over the house. Frequently he would leave it in my bed or near my computer chair as a gift.
Some behaviors – like trying to sneak outside, or being occasionally crazy – I haven’t found a fix for. He doesn’t care about being squirted or scolded at all. However, he has gotten much better with time. When I first got him, I had to lock him up in the basement at night for the first year because he would either bug the crap out of me all night, or yowl endlessly at the bedroom door. I’d often do it during the day, too, because of the garbage thing. Now he’s mostly fine, but it’s taken nearly two years to get to that point, working up slowly.
