I’m writing something (non-creative, professional-oriented) and have really been stumbling over how to express this sentence properly. I originally wrote it as thus:
“The logistics of placing swimming pools in a state as dry as Arizona is are complicated.”
That just seemed totally muddy, so I added commas:
“The logistics, of placing swimming pools in a state as dry as Arizona is, are complicated.”
Better, but the is/are proximity there bothered me, so I rewrote it to:
“The logistics are complicated, of placing swimming pools in a state as dry as Arizona is.”
More clear, but still seems somehow stilted.
Is there any way I can tweak this to make it better, or am I trying to shoehorn an idea into a construction that just won’t work for it? I’ve gotten so stuck on this sentence that I can’t think of drastically different ways to express this point. Any ideas welcome.
(NB: I’ve changed the subject matter of the sentence completely for this post but the structure stands.)
My prediction is that if this thread is permitted to run long enough, we will see at least one recommendation for every possible permutation of the words and punctuations supplied by the OP.
Thanks for the great answers, everyone. Sometimes you just need some outside perspective when you’ve been crunching away at the same tidbit for too long. I ended up going with:
“In a state as dry Arizona is swimming pool, logistics are is pool pool Arizona swimming pool in dry dry dry state dry.”
Just kidding; Baracus’ suggestion was most consistent with my overall style so I went with that.
Everyone seems to be overlooking the fact that, like physics, ethics, politics, etc., logistics is a singular noun, not a plural. I.e, there is no such thing as one logistic. So the sentence should read “In a state as dry as Arizona, the logistics of placing swimming pools **is **complicated.”
I grant that this sounds quite awkward, partly because of the proximity of the plural noun “pools,” so I’d suggest the following possible rewrites:
In a state as dry as Arizona, the placment of swimming pools is logistically complicated.
or
In a state as dry as Arizona, logistical considerations in placing of swimming pools are complicated.
Personally, I would start this one with “because,” as in:
Because it is so dry, the logistics of placing a swimming pool in Arizona is complicated.
or maybe
The logistics of placing a swimming pool is complicated because it is so dry.
I don’t like the “state as dry as Arizona” construction, because it sounds a little folksy for what seems like a pretty technical statement. That and it implies there are “wet states” and “dry states”- something we haven’t had since banning liquor was popular…hehehe. But more seriously, it is more accurate to talk about areas that are extremely dry, not states.
Either that, or you could drop the word “logistics” and use something less formal.
Where I come from. logistics is a generally plural noun. I’m slightly surprised to learn that this is not also true in Arizona.
The sentence should be rewritten, not only for style reasons but because I suspect “logistics” may not actually be what is intended here. I would have though that,if anything, a restricted water supply actually simplifies the planning and organisation of swimming pool placement. You can rule out any location that doesn’t have a sufficient water supply, which presumably leaves you with fewer placement options that require investigation, planning and management. If the point is simply that, in parts of Arizona, it’s not feasible to have a swimming pool, why not just say so?
Or, as well as being a singular noun, does “logistics” have a different meaning in the US?
If we’re going to split hairs: it is not the placing that is complicated but the filling.
The draught in Arizona poses problems for those who want to have a swimming pool?