Lately, my coin slot has somehow been getting chafed or irritated. I don’t know if it’s getting dried out by the winter weather or what, but when the water hit it in the shower this morning, I actually shouted out loud! It feels almost like someone sliced it with a razor, like a perfect line of chafing or a paper cut…on my coin slot.
Any ideas how to sooth what’s already going on and prevent it from happening again?
Lip balm. ;D
Try the usual lot of irritation preventing actions: natural fiber underwear, avoid skin-drying soap, keep the area clean. And, “lip balm” comments aside, applying some kind of moisturizer probably wouldn’t hurt.
“Coin Slot”?
Rub Ben Gay on it.
Better yet, toothpaste.
The relevant SNL skit, even though it isn’t particularly funny.
That reminds me of that thread from years ago, where a Doper (Spoofebodiddley?) tried to use toothpaste as a lubricant.
I would, in the short term, recommend a tube of Vagisil or something similar to relieve the irritation. And then a trip to a gynecologist - there are a lot things that can get out of kilter that show irritation as a symptom, like bacterial vaginosis.
He may not have that in stock under the bridge.
Stop leaving your ass hanging out in the breeze is my recommendation.
Wait… you’re female now? Or a male with a “coin-slot”? Last week you were a male. 
I would suggest double penetration.
“Coin Slot” is basically the same as “Plumber’s Butt” though I’m not sure if either term is gender-specific.
Do you have a “coin return” somewhat lower down? And do you accept bills?
SNL sucks ass. Why it hasn’t been canceled yet is beyond me.
Stop accepting wooden nickels? I dunno; I got nothin.
Regular use of toilet paper?
Dear, there’s a reason it hurts. You see, when you play your Pac-Man arcade cabinets in the shower well, I hate to break it to you but those things have wiring and circuitry and often easily warpable wood cabinets so it’s probably best you don’t use them in water. We don’t want you hurt from electrical shock now do we? I have a feeling if you stop doing your world-record high score runs while washing up showers will be a lot more comfortable!
I have no clue what either a “Plumbers Butt” or a “Coin Slot” is.
Damn earworm.
Put another nickel in…music, music, music.
WD40?