Dear MilliCal,
I have been thinking more about your question today. In lawyer terms, we call that “analyzing” the issue. Based upon my analysis, and my review of the other posts, I have several new suggestions for you.
First, if you have a baby brother or sister, you can offer to watch and entertain your sibling. Your parents will tell you that you are too young to babysit. You should agree with them: you are too young to babysit, but you get older every day. When you are old enough to babysit, won’t they feel better if they know that you already know the ropes? So offer to “watch and entertain” your siblings while your parents are home. This will give mom and dad time to do other things, like read a book or browse the Dope, without worrying about you and your siblings. Charge at least a dollar an hour. Remember what I said earlier about being firm about your price. If your parents tell you that a dollar an hour is what full-fledged babysitters make, tell mom and dad, “I’m sorry to hear that you think your children’s happiness is not worth a dollar an hour.” Then look very, very sad. I think that will do the trick. If you do watch and entertain your sibling for an hour or two, you must provide good value for your services, so that mom and dad will want to hire you again. So think of some fun games to play.
Second, you can ask for an allowance. Some parents don’t want to give their kids an allowance, because they think that it teaches a kid to get something for nothing. But you should tell your parents that the allowance is a way to introduce you to “fiscal responsibility.” Tell them that with an allowance, you will learn to budget and learn to plan for the things you want, instead of having to wait for birthdays or holidays to get a present. Tell them an allowance will teach you independence, because you will have to rely on yourself to plan for what you want. You should also do some “market research” before you talk to mom and dad about an allowance. Prepare a chart, showing your parents what allowances your friends get, and what their ages are (of course, if your friends don’t get an allowance, you should just skip that part of your pitch). Long, long ago, in a time we called “the 1970s,” I got an allowance. It was hard to wait for something I wanted, but I knew that if I saved up, I could get whatever I wanted. Even if my sister said it was stupid. But what does she know, right?
All the suggestions everyone has given you so far are good ones. They all involve ways that you can sell goods (like your toys on eBay), or provide services (like doing chores or babysitting). My third suggestion is about using the arts to raise money. I have two thoughts: reading and plays. You like to read. How about if you set a goal, and ask people like mom and dad or your grandparents to “sponsor” your reading? Tell them you plan to read ten books this month (or five, or fifteen – whatever number you think is a good stretch for you). Ask them each to sponsor you, so that they will pay you twenty-five cents for each book you read in the month. If you can get four people to sponsor you, that’s a dollar a book. If you read ten books, that’s ten dollars.
The other thing you could do is to put on a play. Perhaps a play about how mom and dad met? You can write the play and ask dad to play himself. (But tell him that he will need to pay a dollar to be in it. It is a MilliCal production, after all.) Then tell mom you’re putting on a play about her and dad; if she wants to see it, the tickets are five dollars. The trick is to make sure it’s a play that your audience will want to see. On my parents’ first date, my dad forgot his wallet, and my mom had to pay for him. We still make fun of my dad for that. If the story of how your parents met is funny like that, your mom will definitely want to see a play about it. Also, make sure to serve refreshments at intermission. You should be able to charge a dollar or so for some punch and cookies.
Good luck!
Your friend,
Campion