It’s so cold that my corn flakes turned into frosted flakes.
Minus 7 °F! 
It’s so cold that my shower head was giving me snow.
I’m not so worried about the cold but I swear that wind has teeth!
It’s so cold the stop sign said “Sssssstop.”
I saw a girl at the beach yesterday and her bikini bottom was NOT stuffed up the crack of her ass.
It’s so cold in Chicago, they canceled both performances of Hamilton today.
It’s so cold I saw a polar bear shivering.
-35 F here today, with the wind chill. Brrrrr! Our master bedroom shower pipes froze but fortunately haven’t burst.
It’s so cold, the flashers are only describing their genitals.
With special thanks to Johnny Carson and his writers.
It’s so cold I can see my dog’s farts.
(True story 
)
It’s true. Live in Michigan and got the alert. There was a fire at Consumer Energy and massively hit their ability to provide.
Facebook is lit up with people defiantly saying they will keep their heat turned up so this new “Democrat” governor can learn she “ain’t gonna control me”, etc.
Here’s a possibly-ignorant question I have: I don’t use Consumers Energy, I use Semco. Does the natural gas all come from the same place? Does this alert really only apply to Consumers customers, or everyone?
Cuz if I can keep my thermostat at 70-73 for the next 24 hours, I’m happy to pay for keeping my home nice and comfortable. But if turning the temp down to 65 helps to alleviate a bad situation for residents across the state, I’m glad to do my part.
Here in the south, it’s so cold my cats are velcroed to my lap. I like to pretend they love me when they do this. My feet were cold but now they are just numb. My blood is cut off due to a full lap-o-cat. So, really they’re helping me. What? It could be true. Benevolent creatures that they are.
It’s so cold I drank a Slurpee to warm up.
It’s so cold my wife’s cold cream turned into ice cream.
No idea. I just know the system is under huge strain.
I am doing my small part, but may turn it up a bit tonight from 7-10pm, then way down at night.
It’s so cold I heard someone from Minnesota complain about the cold.
That, my friends, is cold.
It’s so cold I went into a walk-in freezer to keep warm.
It’s so cold I can almost run my freezer at room temperature.