How could I let this happen? Once more into the breech.

You, sir? You, with the shopping basket full of puppies? You, sir, are an idiot.

And idiots like you should not be allowed to breed. Not even puppies.

Perhaps (for the benefit of you, the reader of this rant), I should illuminate:

My wife and I went to Wally World yesterday to pick up a couple of DVDs or some such non-essential items. As we pulled in to the parking lot, my wife’s radar went off:

“Ooooooooohhhhh! Puppies!”

Actually, I wasn’t all that sure she said ‘puppies’. You see, I’ve learned, over the years, to run - and run fast - when I hear that “Oohhhhh!” sound issuing forth from my wife’s lips. It don’t matter - kittens, puppies, colts, fillies, calves, sheep, hell, even hamsters - my wife tends to collect pets in much the same way some people collect other things - indiscriminately! You might think this rant is directed at my wife. You would be wrong*.

Please allow me to recreate some of the pertinent parts of the conversation which followed the parking of the Jeep:

Idiot trying to unload latest litter of puppies: “Would you like to hold a puppy?”

Wife: “Ooooooooohhhhh! Puppies!”

[I mean, you can just hear it, right?]

Lucy: “NO.”

Idiot: [Babbles incessantly about the cute puppies.]
Wife: [Takes puppy cuteness from the idiot] “Ahhhh, isn’t she cute?”
[Babbles incoherently about puppy cuteness. I think I’m in trouble …]* "How old are they?

Idiot: “8 weeks - they’re completely weaned and on solid food now.”

Lucy: [Looks at puppies. Uhhh, are you talking about these puppies? They’re barely able to move around under their own power … :dubious: ]

Wife: "Have they had any of their shots?

Idiot: “No, still a little too young yet …”

Lucy: [:eek: RED FLAGS! :eek: BELLS! :eek: FLASHING LIGHTS! :eek: ALARMS! :eek: ]

Wife: [levels “The Look” :wink: at me] “Sweetheart …”

Well you can guess the rest. Meet Caliente (I’m guessing it will be ‘Calie’ for short), newest addition to the Ol’ Swayback Ranch.

If you happen to take a minute to flip through the album, you’ll also meet the 2MuddyDogs. I’m just learning how to do this photobucket thingy, so someday I’ll have to see about getting photos of the rest of the livestock (horses, cats, frankenkittys, etc.) into the album.

So, just who is the real idiot here? And, more importantly, who is this rant directed at? ME!!! Hey! I’m 55 winters old, looking at the beginning of #56. I’ve been raising puppies most of my life. And it’s not like I couldn’t see all the warning signs. Weaned, but not old enough for shots? Check.

Reality: This puppy can’t be more than five weeks old. She certainly is not weaned - she is still trying to suckle everything that comes near her muzzle. And, she is just barely tolerating solid food.

And still I folded. Withered under the [del]glare[/del] loving gaze of my wife.

All will end well, I’m sure. We’ve been here and done this all before. (Which makes me all the more an idiot for allowing it to happen yet again!)

The point of all this? Caveat Emptor! Heed my advice my friends: do not get your pets from people standing in front of the local store with a shopping basket full of cuteness …

Oh, and to the jerk with the puppies, would it have really killed you to leave these puppies with mama for another 2 - 3 weeks? You know, like, until they were, in fact, actually and truly weaned?

Thought so.


*Well, maybe you would not be entirely wrong in supposing this - but that is best left lying over there —>>> (You know, next to that pile of my indiscriminately collected stuff …)

Wal*Mart Puppy Man is bad. Your wife is kind-hearted. The puppy is irresistible. I wish people would spay/neuter, but Cali is likely to be in the best of all possible places with your family.

Cali is very, very cute.

That little pup is the cutest! I don’t blame your wife for falling in love at first sight. Your other dogs are beautiful, too. I love this picture, with the two looking at each other somewhat dubiously.

Squeee! Cute puppy bundle of fur !! I guess the other critters tolerate her ok?

Psst… it’s “breach”.

I saw them Friday in Brentwood, CA in front of the Wal-Mart. Did they have a baby and the Mrs. pregnant?

Personally I think these people are just salespeople from a puppy mill and the dogs aren’t theirs.

Yeah, well the ‘e’ and the ‘a’ are almost right next to each other on the keyboard. Besides, almost 90% of the other letters were right - give the ol’ man a brake. Uhhhh … make that ‘break’.

or whatever. :smiley:

You may be right. I just can’t figure out the commission schedule … :smiley:


Callie’s a cutie.

Hey, Lucy, whatever happened to your crazy burn barrel neighbour?

<Nerd Mode>
Save vs. Cuteness: Roll 1 on d20, +4 Will Modifier, -10 Wife Modifier vs. DC 12

She looks like a Rottie! I lurves them Rottsmiler dawgs! Congratulations!

Maybe it was a breech delivery?

Hard to tell at this age — which I agree is somewhat too young to be taken from mama — but the coloring doesn’t look quite right to be a purebred Rottie (specifically, in pic 12 there appears to be a white splash on her right jaw). But there’s probably enough that she’s going to be a double handful; good thing you seem to have a) experience, and b) lots of room.

Definitely a bundle o’ canine cuteness, though.

He is, [del]un[/del]fortunately still with us. And as caarrAzzee as ever.

For those speculating on the breed, we were told Calie is the product of a cross between a Chow father, and the mother is a Shepard/Rottie mix. She’s gonna be a handful.

And before you ask, Tippy is a Rottie/White Lab mix, and the Dozer* is all Black Labrador - all 122 lb. of him (as of 9/14/2008 - but I think he may have put on a couple or ten pounds since then. He is, after all, still a growing puppy of just 15 tender months. Yikes.)


  • Honest, when I named him Dozer, he was 9 lbs. and liked to sleep. A lot. Hence the name. I didn’t realize that there was an implied ’ in front of that “D” (i.e.: 'Dozer. As in BULLDozer, which is what he turned out to be. Warning: Do not stand between this dog and whatever he thinks he wants.)
    On Preview:

Yeah, about 2 1/2 acres of Romper Room inside the fence line. 'Course, she’s gonna have to learn to share. :smiley:

I wanted to finish your post but… Look at the puppy face!

Just be glad you just got away with only one.

And I’m sure he won’t grow much bigger… hee hee hee.

That puppy is a Weapon of Mass Cuteness.

Word to the wise – puppies are not supposed to leave their mamas before 8 weeks, which is why every puppy seller / giver will tell you they’re 8 weeks old. My dog board is full of posts about puppies being offered in front of Wal Mart (for some reason) who were under 8 weeks; most of those threads end in the death of the puppy. I’m not sure if the failure to thrive is due to nutritional deficiencies, or lack of immunities from mother’s milk, but please get a vet involved in the puppy’s care.

I once had a dog that had very similar coloring to a Rott–he was, no lie, half mini schnauzer and half husky. (The husky was the mother.) It’s funny how different breed mixes can look so similar. He was also the most awesome dog ever. I love me some mutts. And I want a dog, too! (stupid landlords…)

Hope your puppy does well.

Mama called first thing this morning and Calie has an appointment w/Vet person on Friday morning. Soonest we could get her in …

Thanks for the superb advice though …