And to continue the hijack, sweet white wines are pretty good at taming the spiciness. One Thai restaurant that I know of (Lotus of Siam, in Las Vegas NV) has a surprisingly good selection of rieslings and other sweet whites. If you order spicy food, the owner may suggest that you drink a dessert wine with your meal. Sounds strange, but it complements the food well.
Do you have an actual cite for these unusual assertions? They certainly contradict my medical knowledge. For instance, foods in the normal process of eating, do not go thru the “voicebox”. I don’t believe spicy food is any more liable to be aspirated than other foodstuffs. Nor am I aware of spicy foods removing the scalp or portions of the skull.
QtM, MD
I live in New Mexico, a state that is either full of masochists or the only source of the One True Chile, depending on your point of view. Here we regularly grow all forms of Little Plants that Want to Hurt You, and eat them.
My first capsaicin overdose was on New Mexico green chile, which are similar to jalapenos, but with a much more pleasing flavor and better texture. NM green isn’t eaten raw often, but roasted and peeled for use in soups and sauces. Or, chopped and put on hamburgers, as I had it. It was hot. Very hot, especially for someone unaccustomed to anything stronger than Tabasco. But, it was good. NM green compliments a good cheeseburger like nothing else does. I didn’t feel any “high”, which some people get from the endorphins released by the body.
The second time I was exposed to an overabundance of pepper was when I was making salsa at the restaurant I worked in. Now, Martha’s salsa recipe is a house secret, but it does include chipotle peppers. These are essentially jalapenos that have been smoked and dried, then packed in a sauce that includes more chile. I put the jar of chipotles in the food processor (forgetting to put the cover on properly), and turn it on to chop them up.
A moment later when the shield worked itself loose, a fragment of pepper flew out and managed to hit me right in the corner of my eye. That stung like nothing else. It felt like part of the Sun had been transported to my ocular cavity and was desperately trying to get out. Fortunately, one of my co-workers noticed me doubled over and bawling like a 300-pound bear with a thorn it its paw, and was able to flush my eye out with saline solution. The area around my eye swelled up for a few days, but was fine afterwards.
Third time I brought it on myself - or rather, I was conned into chile consumption with the promise of money. To win a $5 bet, all I had to do was chew and keep down one of a selection of peppers. I chose the most innocuous sounding one, the jalapeno.
What my friend had neglected to mention was that this was an “ornamental” jalapeno, normally unsuitable for human consumption. This pepper had been bred for an exceptionally thick, tough skin and many, many seeds. Oh, and to be hotter than the fires of Hell itself (to discourage animals from eating it, I assume). Dutifully, I chewed my chosen pepper. I didn’t notice the heat until my jaw stopped working and I reflex-swallowed what was in my mouth. Then it hit me like a fiery freight train driven by a laughing, grinning Satan. It felt like the inside of my mouth and throat had been doused in kerosene and set alight, then rubbed with sandpaper. I’m sure I gagged, but somehow I held on to that pepper.
The fourth, and last, time I ever OD’ed on anything hot, I ate a habanero straight up. Having forgotten my previous experiences, I thought it couldn’t be that bad. I was wrong. When the sensations from my mouth hit my brain, I was transported out of reality. I saw a place beyond all normal comprehension. I learned the secrets of Time and Matter, and how one small orange pepper can stretch a minute into hours. I woke up in pain beyond knowing.
Despite all of this, I have suffered no long-lasting ill effects from my exposure to fiendishly hot chiles. Oh, there’s the long agony of the morning after, when I pray to Jesus to deliver from my sins, or at least rapture my nether regions out of existence, but that’s not so bad.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned that capsaicin is the main ingredient in pepper spray
(please forgive me if this isn’t the best cite, I hate Goggling)
My guess it the beer really doesn’t make it worse, but considering beer is mostly water, it doesn’t do a whole lot to help.
It’s better than water at reducing the burn, but that’s about all that can be said. The thing about water, though, is if it’s cold enough (i.e. loaded with ice), it can help to numb your mouth a little bit. So often times water will lessen the pain, if not actually doing anything to reduce the amount of capsaicin in your mouth (capsaicin is not soluble in water).
Alchohol is the substance of choice for dissolving it, but you’ll want to start dowing shots, or Manhattans, or something that is mostly alcohol. Margaritas work as well, because the acid helps cut the oils from the pepper while the tequila dissolves it. (A screwdriver, cosmopolitan, bloody mary, etc. would work similarly here.) Salt helps as well, which is why if you ever get it in your eye, use saline to flush your eye rather than normal water.
I was riding the El one time back in college, and there was a guy who came on and immediately fell down and started rolling around on the floor in significant pain. His eyes were swollen, his nose was running, his face was red, etc. I had never seen anyone in so much pain. I asked the woman who came on with him what happened, and she said that the guy had been maced with pepper spray. She had found the guy in the middle of the sidewalk after he got sprayed, and decided to help him get to the police. According to her the guy claimed he was maced without cause. Whether this was true was something she was going to leave up to the cops, but she figured that whatever happened, this guy needed help pretty quick. (Looking back, I’m curious as to why she didn’t just call paramedics or something, but whatever).
It was my first time ever seeing the results of pepper spray up close. I have seen the packages for it, though, and I don’t think they impress upon those who buy it how awful that stuff really is. Granted, it’s great for self-defense, but it should be used with caution.
Somewhat off-topic, does anyone know of a hot pepper that doesn’t burn your mouth until you stop eating it? I used to go to a Mexican restaurant that had this wonderful green sauce for their tortilla chips. The weird thing was that your mouth only started to burn after you stopped eating the chips/sauce. I’ve always wondered how they did that.
[More hijack, different direction] That reminds me. When I was stationed near Spokane, WA, there was a Mexican Ex-Pat who ran a tiny little restaurant just outside the base. the food was inexpensive and very good, but the freshly-made salsa and chips you got while waiting for your meal were killer. Unfortunately, the come-on for the heat was subtle and slow. By the time you realized you were going to need a glass of milk (or something) to cut the heat, you were enjoying the flavor too much to stop. I got in the habit of ordering a large glass of whole milk to be delivered to the table with the chips.
Man that stuff was good!
–SSgtBaloo[/hijack]
Amen. I recently moved from Albuquerque to Las Vegas, NV for work. What I miss most about home (aside from family and friends) is the food. No one here knows what green chili even is…my last resort is going to be Gardunos…oh lord…
The only silver lining to all of this is that Smiths out here carries Sadies salsa.
Back to the OP – I have eaten one of them straight, and it was damn good…very hot, but damn good.
It’s not harmful at all to your GI tract, except only in one instance, which I’ll describe later.
Oleoresin capsicum is an analogue for a chemical called Substance P. Substance P is involved in the perception of pain, but not in a simple way. Eating oleoresin capsicum causes a burning sensation that is interpreted as pain. However, many linaments contain oleoresin capsicum, and when massaged in, it seems to reduce muscle pain.
In the GI tract, oleoresin capsicum also results in the production of mucus. (You may have noticed a runny nose after eating hot foods). As such, it is very good for the GI tract, as production of mucus protects the stomach lining from acid.
However, this extra mucus does seem to result in diarrhoea. This isn’t harmful in and of itself, unless it’s so significant that it flushes out nutrients. However, excessive use of toilet paper, unlike oleoresin capsicum, is an irritant.
As for Habanero peppers, I used to eat them whole all the time. It hasn’t killed me in ten years.
This one time, at hot pepper camp, I told stories about how I stupidly ate a habanero pepper, then 53 other people told similar stories. It sure hurt alot! 
This is GQ people, not MPSIMS. Any potentially factual information on this subject should have already been presented. I’m not one to get easily ired by questionable forum choices, but I have to call this one. Come on, this is basically a request for “how did eating a hot pepper affect you” type responses. Which is definately MPSIMS content.
I can respect when my thread gets moved, and I learn from it. I expected better from you Philosophr.
The day that “my butthole burned so bad the next day” threads are considered ignorance-fighting explainations, is the day that I’ll give up on the human race and become a Raelian.
Damn simul-post with epepke don’t forget the time change folks.
dnooman, chill!
Geez, what’s a guy supposed to do…try to anticipate the nature of responses he’ll get and post to the forum he thinks his thread will morph into? He asked about potential health hazards. It’s not his fault that all these wonderful stories were the result.
dnoonan, I think the OP had a quite legitimate GQ. In this thread, we’ve explored the cause of pepper heat (capsaicin), its effect on human tissues, the loci of human tissues most likely to be affected, ways of decreasing the pain it causes, and several illustrative anecdotes which show common behaviors which can lead to both advertant and inadvertant painful exposures to capsaicin. I think this is all very good GQ fodder.
So I suggest you go join the Raelians.
QtM, MD
Sorry, forgot the smilie in my last sentence. 
I grow habañeros; roasting and eating at least one annually. One year I shared the sacred harvest ritual with my–then–girlfriend. Rolling on the floor in hazy, endorphin induced, bliss and agony, my precious flower gasped; “Would it burn… if you licked me… you know… down there”? In less time than it took me to reply that I thought it might, her Panties of Empirical Inquiry were boldly shed. I can confirm that indeed, active capsaicin can be transferred from mucosal membrane to other discreet and tender tissues. The ecstacy was hot, lubricious and tingly; such that we celebrated the Rapture and Passion of the Harvest as a fall rite, for quite a few years thereafter.
dnooman, chilI out, as I’ve now morphed the thread into religious witnessing, feel free to ask that it be moved to Great Debates.
The factual questions has been answered.
Please feel free to open a thread in MPSIMS or Great Debates (if you have to witness), but this thread is closed.
DrMatrix - GQ Moderator