[This is reposted from my journal, I just felt like I had more ranting to do]
Someone out there is trying to sabotage my surgery. They sent an email to my surgeon talking about my bipolar disorder, my past suicidal feelings, and my difficulties with this spring’s dental work (saying I had a very low pain threshhold, which may be true), that I’ve had to call my husband home from work because I was feeling upset, and links to various journal entries of mine. While I appreciate that someone may be legitimately concerned about me, this is really none of their business. My surgeon has postponed my surgery to September 28 as a result.
A few things I’d like to say…
my new medication seems to be working quite well, except that sometimes I feel like I get irritable a little faster. We’re still in the dosage-adjustment stage, though.
my dental work was a couple of months of repeated visits to the dentist, each time doing something which caused me more pain. My dentist also ignored my pain. I had a tooth with an exposed nerve for what, a week? that I was just putting wax on at home–he told the ER people that that tooth had a root canal, when it was the tooth behind it that had the root canal. He left me for weeks after an extraction with an infected root still down in my gums, and it wasn’t until my other dentist discovered it that he even acknowledged that there was anything wrong. I had bone splinters working their way out of my gums for weeks, and he even saw them but wouldn’t do anything about it. My point is that this was an extended and painful and frustrating experience which I don’t think is really comparable with recovering from surgery. I’ve had abdominal surgery before. Generally it was tolerable as long as I didn’t laugh or cough or such, and that time I didn’t even get pain medication.
this surgery is going to be so good for me. It is going to give me back so much of my life. It is going to remove one of the elements that makes me depressed in the first place. It is going to help me get out of the house. Hell I might even get to make some friends.
yes I’ve had to call my husband home on occassion. And you know what? He came home. And he took care of me. And everything was all right. At least I know when I’m feeling unstable and I get help.
Anyway, whoever you are, please butt out. You have no right to interfere with my life. In fact, your actions are the kind of thing that probably would have sent me over the edge into hysterics and depression if I weren’t on my meds. I’m not sure what you are trying to accomplish, but I know myself better than you do. I guess it’s sweet that you are concerned, if that is actually your motive, but it isn’t your place to interfere.
[new stuff not in my journal:]
Just who the FUCK do they think they are? On what planet is it acceptable for some random person on the internet to interfere with my medical treatment?! How DARE they? I’m quite honestly stunned that someone thought this was any of their business.
Opal, I can’t even conceive of why this person thought that they msut do this. Maybe they were trying to be “concerned” for you, though I don’t see concern. Instead, I see a desire to hurt you, using (I would assume) private information about you. Hang in there and let us know how things go.
I don’t know much about the details or even why you’re having surgery, but apparently the surgeon seems to agree with the mysterious guy, if the e-mail led the surgeon to postpone the surgery. I’m suprised that this is news to the surgeon. I’d think he would already know about what drugs you were taking and what medical conditions you were being treated for…I’d think he would have to, if for no other reason than he would know about drug interactions and special conditions he might have to watch out for during and after the surgery.
The surgeon might have postponed the surgery because he realized that there are potential complications he didn’t know about before, and now he’ll be prepared. While an anonymous e-mailer shouldn’t be flinging your medical history around, in this case, he or she may have done some good.
It’s kind of sad that this has happened and you weren’t told who the information came from.
I mean, if it’s legitimate family or friend, you’d think they’d speak to you first, rather than your doctor.
Unfortunately, I’ve been to your site with pics and stuff, and probably lots of people have access to enough information to do this to you. The fact that it might be someone who doesn’t really know you well is pretty crappy.
And I find it interesting that your doctor would postpone the surgery without completely discussing this with you. I’m keeping my fingers crossed, because I think you’ve done your homework on this, and I think it’s just fine that you go forward with the surgery.
Sorry about the invasion of your privacy, Opal. That sucks. I’m guessing this is gastric bypass surgery? That’s a drastic measure, but I’m sure you put a lot of soul searching into it and are ready for it.
While this is a truly shitty thing to do, there’s also a lesson here, perhaps. I know you’re quite open about your personal life, on these boards and on others, including your own page. I mean, it’s not an exaggeration to state you pretty much post all your day-to-day business on the internet. Or at least, that’s what it looks like from the outside. Some of the details you include are raher intimate, such as things about your medical condition.
All it takes is one vindictive, or just plain mean, asshole.
Maybe you ought to be a little more careful about what you reveal.
I am consistently amazed at the way many people reveal the most intimate details of their private lives on the World Wide Web (please note the name, people!) and then freak out when that information is used or misused.
If you want certain things to remain private, don’t talk about them in the most public place available.
This is starting to sound a lot like blame the victim. I really admire and respect that Opal lives her life so openly and honestly. I see no reason people should be afraid to tell the world about themselves, and there is no shame in having bi-polar disorder. If more people were open and honest about themselves, perhaps we’d understand instead of fear these things.
In any case, nothing Opal has revealed about herself gives anyone any excuse to try to use the information against her or to interfere with her decision to have surgery. The person who e-mailed her doctor is the one in the wrong here, no matter the person’s intentions.
Of course, Calliope. But the point is that that person could not have done such a thing to someone who keeps these things to themselves. Whether or not it’s admirable to post intimate details is beside the point: it can put you in a vulnerable position.
My interim post was eaten by the hamsters… I’ll try again:
I (as a relative newbie) am glad that Coldie and Stoid came out on the same side of the fence as me.
This is handing the keys to the jail to any asshole who has too much free time:
Keep your personal info personal as long as you can. I’m not trying to make waves, I’m just suggesting that it is a BAD idea to hang your laundry out where people can see it. You’re INVITING this kind of shit if you post that kind of personal info into the aether. Punditlisa, you once posted my favorite SDMB reply ever. Nice to see you in this thread. Opal, I’m a longtime fan and wish you well. Don’t invite trouble.
No. He knows all of this, and he has gotten a release from my psychiatrist. He is postponing it because he wants me to have one more visit with my psychiatrist before having the surgery, so that she can determine if I have any issues.
I hope it does all that for you, Opal. I really do. But if I had a patient who told me that’s what they expected from their surgery, I’d be very, very leery about proceeding with the operation.
Many people have very unrealistic expectations about their treatments or surgeries, and can be quite disappointed, and even worse off from an emotional standpoint when it doesn’t work out just like they’d hoped.
Qagdop: well all of that would be a result of me losing weight. This surgery will make me lose weight. See, since I’ve been fat, I don’t go out I attend maybe 1 or 2 social events a year. The rest of the time I stay in my house. Therefore, losing weight will give me that part of my life back (leaving the house without feeling so awkward). I don’t see how these are unrealistic expectations.
Man, some people are really jerks. Even if the ass-clown had good intentions, 'fer crying out loud - if they wanted to help you, they could have just called you.
This sux. However, I’m sure that the meeting with the psychiatrist will go fine, and the surgery will go great.
Congrats on making such a big decision - you must be very excited.
