How Did I Hurt Myself?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So, I step out of bed the other day and <wham!>, I hit the floor, my foot in agony. Long story short, I have tendonitis in my foot.

Per doc’s orders, I spend a few days on the couch playing PS2 and watching football (oh, the pain…). Now I’m back at work, but things are still a bit shaky. I’m still using a crutch and wearing just a slipper on the foot in question.

Of course, everyone who sees me now wants to know what happened. After the first handful of “tendonitis” answers brought back responses of “Oh”, I thought it might be time to jazz things up. So now, according to who you ask, I’ve hurt my foot:
[ul]
[li]skydiving[/li][li]kickboxing[/li][li]trying to stop a friend’s car when the brakes failed[/li][li]fending off a pit bull[/li][li]kicking out the window of a burning car to get at the infant inside[/li][li]dropping a pan of photo developer on it (note: I have no idea if photo developer is caustic to skin, but neither does my average co-worker)[/li][li]trying to land a 720 Christ Air on my friend’s backyard half pipe[/li][/ul]
I have one or two more replies saved up, but I don’t want to find my supply of BS answers running low at an inopportune time. What’cha got, folks?

2

Saving a child from the path of a runaway car? Maybe a car that was on fire, too. Maybe an orphaned child. That’ll impress them. Maybe.

Kicking the last person that asked how you hurt it? Think there’s some continuity problem there, but I like it anyway.

Hope they help.

Harry

3

Misprint in a sex manual? :smiley:

4

Don’t laugh; I’ve dislocated a knee that way.

Tell them you jumped onto the roof of a speeding car with no brakes, kicked in the window and used your foot to slow it down, all to save an orphan child from a pit bull that was in the truck, which you had to kick until it opened. And on your way home from the community awards ceremony at city hall, you tripped on the curb in front of your house.

5

Tell them it’s still Classified.

You were juggling knives, and missed one.

I like the sex manual misprint. :smiley:

6

Tell 'em you did it masturbating. Their stunned silence will give you peace.

7

To see if you still feel, probably.

8

Having actually read the thread, my response was actually almost appropriate, if (a) you wear emo makeup, (b) you take a lot of drugs and it’s obvious or © you’re actually Johnny Cash.

Of course, you could always say you hurt your foot in a basketball game against evil monsters bent on world domination. And, of course, you won, and that’s why we all still speak English. As opposed to Martian, I mean.

9

All this while delusional from all that photo developer you were drinking on a dare
(hey, five bucks is five bucks)

10

Delivering a gay baby whale.

Exploring the Marianas Trench. (Or, alternatively, by kicking a dead horse.)

11

Jumping across to the next building in a roof top chase.
After standing on the house roof shouting “I am a golden god” you accepted a dare and leaped into the pool but it was only 5 feet deep.
The catcher missed you.
They got your weight wrong at the bungee jump and you shot back up so fast you hit the bottom of the jump platform.
After badmouthing Doug Brien you proved your point to friends by kicking a 37 yard field goal with a sack of potatoes.

12

I think he did that in 1960 but only only time.

13

Lessee…

Injured by a ricochet while shooting a child in a burning car?

1920’s style “death ray” accident.

Yeah, but you should see the kitten!

Playing “kick the can” with a nuclear waste receptacle.

You donated your navicular bone to Doug Brien for a secret transplant sur…oop, shouldn’t have said that.

14

Dude. Ow.

15

beee-yoo-ti-ful.