I’m sorry you had to face such a serious situation and glad to hear things are better.
Tt is natural for elderly people to want to stay with their familiar surroundings and avoid change.
However due to frailty and medical conditions, they may have to leave for a nursing home.
It’s better for both them and their family.
I had to face this with both my wonderful parents.
Fortunately they were both mentally alert and prepared to discuss things a bit.
My 83 year old Mum (in apparently good health) was the official carer for my 84 year old Dad (who had many physical problems such as Parkinson’s disease, high blood pressure, rheumatoid arthritis and glaucoma.)
Then Mum was suddenly diagnosed with likely bowel cancer and rushed to hospital (I lived nearby, so went with her in the ambulance.)
Dad had to be transferred immediately to the local nursing home, as he could not manage at all on his own.
Mum was soon in a local hospice and my sister and I visited our parents regularly.
Given the dire situation, they were as content as possible.
They both passed peacefully with a month.
The staff at both the hospice and the nursing home were very caring, as was my parent’s doctor.
It was a shattering blow to have both parents pass within a month, so I want to strongly recommend grief therapy.
I was supported by friends and family, but still benefited hugely from the counselling.
which is why I am bringing this topic up. I am all alone here dealing with this. I have a brother lives across the country and a wonderful lady, a paid caregiver, who will go with me on Friday. There is no one else, and I thank god for her because I don’t think I could do this myself.
Mom is so bad with Lewy Body dementia I wonder if she will even put up a fight. She has hallucinations with the dementia, can’t use the phone, can’t answer th door, is falling down, is incontinent…I mean, it is TIME! She is pending Medicaid but the nursing home will take her right away.
Wish us luck. I am so weary of taking care of her for the past years. Every single day, often twice a day, I sit in fear of the phone ringing, the caregiver calling to say something awful has happened.
Later I may ask what you do about the house, I am so stressed I can’t think. cancel the newspaper, cable TV. What about the bills to be paid yet, I don’t know what happens with Medicaid. Mom doesn’t own the house. So many questions!!! Do you think the nursing home will help me? I have no one to ask.
My older brother at 70 years old had basically lost his mind.Neither know nor care what the proper politically correct word is, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and has what Alcoholics Anonymous calls wet brain. Our mother was caring for him in her home at 88 years old it was more than she could continue to handle. He refused to shave or get a haircut or even bathe. He’d go into the bathroom and come out a few minutes later and swear to Mom that he had showered. SO after a family counsel of the other 5 siblings and Mom I took him to a doctor’s appointment and lkeft him at a state run nursing home. That was a year ago and they are still tring to find a permanent place for him. State of Tenn if it matters.
15 years ago I went to visit my father> I lived in Ft Lauderdale FL and he lived in Minneapolis MN. I found 32 pill bottles on his bedside table. “What’s this pill? dad” I asked. 10:30 he replied proudly. I called a sister in Tenn who was a nurse, she has slipped off to Heaven in the meantime, but she took time to drive to Minn and visit Dad. She found that some of the pills were the same as others prescribed by different doctors. We did get him into the Veterans Hospital’s nursing home facility before he slipped off to Heaven a few months later.