My last car died from exposure to a female!!
It was a great little Mitsubishi pajero, V6, midnight blue, bullbar and all the fruit. A little “go anywhere 4WD fun machine”.
How did it happen?
I went on a weekend away to a little place north of Broome, Western Australia, with a good friend who i was hoping would become a much better friend. We stayed at a very nice place, fantastic view over a lagoon with the setting sun over the ocean etc.We had a nice feed and a midnight swim. Left to go home the next day, my friend said she would drive if i was a bit tired, fine by me.
The road home was 110 kms of corrugated dirt road but we got there the day before without an incident. We didn’t get home incident free though. A perfectly executed two and quarter turn barrel roll saw to that.
My friend just lost control around a corner. The car got a bit sideways and we hit the soft shoulder, side on, doing about 90 km/h and away we went. 2 1/4 turns later every panel on the car was dented, the rear diff was no longer attached to the car but was resting about 30 metres further down the road. Every window was smashed, none of the doors would open, the chasis was bent like a banana and the roof was caved in to the level of the headrests on the passenger side (my side). I was half flung out through the windscreen (always always ALWAYS wear seatbelts!!!) and my friend smashed the drivers side window with her head!
The worst part was after we stopped rolling. I had to get back in the car to get out because my seatbelt was still on (only my head and torso went through the windscreen) and i had to release my friend from her seatbelt, as she was suspended from it due to the car being on its side. I was just in an accident, i wasn’t thinking straight, i pressed the release button on her seatbelt and…WHUMP!!..she landed fair on top of me! Knocked the wind right out of my sails, adding insult to injury… but only minor injury.
We ended up getting out the hole that I’d made in the windscreen (lucky i did that eh?) and then laughed like two people that had just looked death in the face and called him a pussy! Both of us walked away with only scratches, a few bruises and a sore head. Then we watched as the car that was about five minutes behind us drove straight on by without stopping (may the fleas of a thousand camels infest their nether regions!!). Some people stopped to help us a couple of minutes after that, gave us a lift back to broome and the rest is an insurance claim.
I’ve got a shiny new 4wd now that my GF (different girl to the above story) wouldn’t drive if i paid her to, courtesy of Mr. insurance.