How do I become a diplomat? Are there any language requirements (I’m shooting for either England, Scandinavia, or the German-speaking world.)? Age requirements? What exactly would my calendar look like (Monday: meet Prime Minister. Tuesday: Poison water supply, plant nuclear device.)? How much pay could I expect? Is there anything I should know about, like secret handshakes or maybe a decoder ring that I must buy from a catalog?
Are there any diplomats here on the Board? I’d appreciate any answers.
… Thursday: Almost knock ticker off of his bike around Parliament Square because ‘traffic laws do not apply to me, I have diplomatic immunity’ (this actually occurred BTW)
If you’re not too well politically connected, your only option is to get a job with the State Department (in other countries, the analogous agency is usually called the Foreign Office). Fluency in a foreign language is a big plus, but you have a much better chance of getting hired if you speak more than one. Pay is pretty similar to what other civil servants make, although being posted to a place like Japan usually comes with an additional stipend to cover the exhorbitant cost of living there. Much of your time would probably be spent doing things like assisting US citizens in trouble with the host nation government, chaperoning congresscritters on junke- er, fact-finding missions, etc.
Meeting the Prime Minister is something usually done by the ambassador. Unless you went to high school with Dubya or made a sizable campaign contribution, you’re probably not gonna get one of these jobs without 30 years or more in diplomatic service, if then.
Poisoning the local water supply and planting explosives is not very diplomatic behavior. These things, if necessary, are more under the purview of the Central Intelligence Agency or covert military operatives.
There really is a lot more to foreign service with the US Department of State. If you really want to learn more about it, go to http://www.state.gov
If you want to be an ambassador, the easiest way is to suck up to a future president. A friend of my parents was tight with the Clintons and parlayed that in to being the ambassador to Austria.
