How do I eat a hot steak through a straw?

Factual Questions
1

No, it’s a question about having your jaw wired. Get your mind out of the gutter. :wink:

An acquaintance of mine had his jaw broken (And subsequently wired) in a Tae Kwon Do tournament recently, and has a craving for a hot steak. Can anyone here offer any advice for him on how to eat one in his present condition?

Thanks for your time,
Ranchoth

2

Put the meat in a blender that beat it into a pulp

3

  1. Get a thin-walled steel tube the same diameter and length as a drinking straw, and a steel rod that will slide inside the tube.

  2. Use metal file to sharpen around the edge of one end of the tube, until the edge is very sharp.

  3. Punch the sharp end of the tube into the hot steak repeatedly, until it is full of little steak pellets.

  4. Put the unsharpened end of the tube into your friend’s mouth.

  5. Use the steel rod to push the steak pellets into your friend’s mouth.

4

The one approach I do not recommend is the one taken by my brother-in-law. Got his jaw broken defending his sister at a party; some weeks later was at a big to-do held by a club he belonged to and ripped the wires out on the spot so he could eat bbq. Didn’t do him any permanent damage, but still–! :eek:

Urban Ranger’s suggestion is the best, but since a lot of the enjoyment in eating meat is the “mouth feel” of biting into it, I’m thinking your friend really won’t enjoy it that much.

5

Tim Allen grunting noises

That is one HELL of a man there! I wish he lived nearby so I could buy him a beer and get the story.

His name wasn’t Bill Braskey was it?

6

I didn’t realize Tae Kwon Do was so versitile. :slight_smile:

PC