How do I find a tooth-sharpening lawyer in Ontario?

I’ll leave out most of the details, but I need to find an ass-kicking lawyer who sharpens his or her teeth with a file in the Ontario province. Said lawyer should have a lot of experience in child custody disputes and the like.

Some experience with how the law works in respect to non-citizens trying to assert a claim on a child would also be helpful.

Phil Epstein or anyone from his outfit:

Start there, and if they are not what you are after, they can refer you to someone who will fit your needs.

Thank you!