I would like to ask advice from all of you out there. I work for the military in the health care field. My job is about 9-10 hour days Monday through Fridays. I usually have the weekends free. During the week in the evenings I usually exercise for about 2 hrs, and usually get home around 9pm and eat, do some relaxing things then bed at around 11pm.
For the past few months I’ve had fleeting thoughts of things I’d like to accomplish in my life before I die. By the way, I’m 40, single male.
This morning I did some soul searching and came up with a list of 12 goals I’d like to start working on: 1)Get married, start a family (well, I’ve actually been working on this, but haven’t met with much success), 2)Learn to play harmonica, accordion, relearn guitar 3)Write a screenplay, ideas of which has been floating around my head for awhile, 4)Prepare for board certification exam 5)Learn some piano pieces… etc.
12 goals in all. My question to everyone is How do I find the time to get all of these things done? I’d also like to get at least 6 hrs of sleep per day.
Well, first of all, no one has ever said that you need to do all 12 simultaneously. I would pick one and tackle that first.
It sounds like your evenings after 9 and weekends are largely free. You didn’t say what you do during these times, just that it was relaxing. Ideally, most of the items on your list are items that you would find relaxing. Would you be losing anything important to you if you devote a couple of nights a week to your list?
ETA: I admire your energy and persistence, spending two hours a night at the gym everyday.
I notice some of your goals are portable and can be accomplished in small doses. For example, how about taking a harmonica with you to work and practicing outside at lunch time? Can you prepare for that board exam by listening to .mp3’s of lectures while you exercise? Multitasking is key.
Are 9-10 hour days required for your job or something that you choose to do… can that be cut back at all to a more normal 8? That could give you time to focus on some of your goals/take music classes, whatever.
Work on these goals one or two at a time. Trying to do them all at once will drive you crazy and you’ll just want to give up. You list a lot of music instruments… I say pick up the ones that you’ve done before, and spend some time on those. It will refresh the music basics in your head, and it will make it easier to translate to a new instrument.
The board exams sounds like something you can hunker down and get done relatively quickly.
I don’t really know about the rest, specifically. In terms of meeting someone, make it a part-time goal. Join a weekend club/activity or something, or go out once every couple of weeks to somewhere you think you might meet someone that interests you. Just make it a bit like an appointment you have to keep once in a while, and fill your time with the rest of it. Your list of goals sounds like great first-time-you-meet conversation material!
Do whatever else it is you really want to do before you decide to get married and start a family because everything else is pretty much shot to hell after that (I kid but not really). To get married, you need to find a suitable female. It seems obvious but it really is the most important thing and some people never really master that objective. You can’t control exactly when things will click but you do have to actively play the odds. That means meeting women and asking them out. A lot of people find it hard but you are going to have to find a way to meet them and then get the guts to move on it. If you are 40 now, it is going to take a while for things to come together if you want a traditional family. Unfortunately, many people have distorted views about fertility. If you want pretty good odds on a traditional biological family, you are going to look for females in the newer model years because female fertility goes straight to hell in the late 30’s and it can make having one biological child difficult or impossible let alone more than that. Your fertility probably won’t be as bad but it is steadily dropping as well. Obviously, if you don’t mind adoption, donated eggs, or other medical intervention, it loosens things up just a little.
Of course, working towards fulfilling some of your goals may help you with this part along the way. Taking classes, going to see musicians playing the instrument you’re learning, etc., are all good ways to meet women, ideally those that share your interests.