She doesn’t think her own perfume stinks, so “Bitch, you stink” might lead her to put more on, to cover up the stink.
Me too. Sometimes you think you’ve achieved perfection, but then a True Master comes along and exposes you for the fraud you are. I bow at your feet, beanpod-sensei.
Can it have (scented) candles?
Strong perfume drives me into a gut-wrenching rage. I complain loudly and indirectly. I hate that I behave that way, but that is how I handle it every time. Even though I know it is childish to handle it that way, when I am in the heat of the foggy, choking moment, I always react that way.
But of course!
Sadly, I think ZenBeam’s probably right though. And BITCH YOUR PERFUME STINKS just doesn’t have the same zip.
I would just keep reminding her that her perfume is strong and has been a problem for the people around her. I’m sensitive to lots of perfumes (especially really cheap or strong ones) and cleaning chemicals, and I’m sure I would have ended up vomiting from too much exposure to a person who douses themselves in perfume on a regular basis. I’ve had to specifically mention to coworkers while I worked in foodservice not to mix the cleaning products improperly, as a few of them were not diluting them enough and it was causing me to have asthma attacks at work. 
They didn’t believe me, and continued to mix them full strength and overuse them anyway.
I have another movie theater story, but it’s not as funny or nice as pbbth’s: I was going to see Mean Girls at a matinee showing with my dad (who’s also sensitive to stuff like this, just not as bad); we’ve been sitting in the theater for about five minutes when an old lady and her perfume scent trail come to sit in front of us. I wait about three minutes, assuming the cloud of perfume might dissipate. It doesn’t. We very politely ask her if she can move down a row, as her perfume is bothering us. She gets all butthurt and starts moaning and complaining about moving, but her moving down a couple of rows doesn’t help, as she’s decided to spray more perfume after she moves. Five minutes later, we’re back in the lobby, asking guest services if they can print us new tickets because I couldn’t bear to wheeze for two hours straight and possibly end up vomiting in the theater. I never did get to see that movie, but I think I saw whatever that football movie with the “average” guy from Philly instead. It was okay.
jjimm, Your style. Never change it.
Pssssst. someecards might be right up your nose…errr…alley.
I don’t agree with telling people to moderate the amount of perfume/cologne they wear - if scents are a problem at work, they need to be told to wear none. I would not leave it up to personal judgement on how much is enough; no one ever thinks their beautiful perfume is making someone else ill. We see it in threads like this every time we have one on perfume in the workplace; some people always come in and say, “Well, I get compliments on my perfume, so I know I’M not causing a problem,” or “I just wear three light sprays every day and just re-apply every time I take a break; it’s not THAT much.” I believe that with everyone who wears perfume in public places, there is SOMEONE smelling their perfume who wishes they had just left it off.
I think you just have to keep telling her, “This is a scent-free workplace; could you please not wear any perfume to work? Thanks.”
While rude and tactless and doubleawesome, so was the carpet bombing of el stinkum. Offense must take the public humiliation. Defense must be applauded for quick decisive handling.
While I’ve always been a fan of the Lysol “Mutually Assurred Destruction” scenario, I second jjimm’s idea. I’ve seen it work best when you type it on a scrolling 50-point screensaver (bold red letters, black background) and password protect the screensaver with your parent’s old phone number and street address…
This is beautiful.
I did get a response to the email I sent about the issue yesterday. It says, in its entirety, “I will send Ellen an email and ask her not to wear so much perfume. Thanks.”
We’ll see if that works, but I’m not exactly holding my breath.* She’s wearing a different kind of perfume tonight, but it’s just as horrible and just as strong. I think those are her two primary requirements when she goes shopping for fragrances.
I swear, the people they hire here just keep getting stranger and stranger. On her first night, this lady started by pretty much rattling off her resume, which sounded fairly impressive. She’s worked in IT at Rite Aid’s corporate HQ and several other really good places. Five minutes later, she said, “You know, this job is in a great location for me. I live at the Y, so it’s only a couple of minutes away!”
What the… ? How do you go from $20/hour jobs to the YWCA? And why, without any poking, prodding, or even the slightest invitation to volunteer that information, would you proudly announce that you live there?
ETA:
-
- Heh. Well, technically I am holding my breath.
ahahaha
She went on break a few minutes ago and one of the guys that works on the edge of her smell zone came over and told me that when I was on break earlier, she printed out the email, brought it over to him and said “Look at this! That son of a bitch don’t like my perfume!”
Of course, she doesn’t know that the guy she showed the email to complains about the smell even more than I do. And she still doesn’t seem to understand that it’s not the perfume I’m objecting to (although it does smell pretty foul); it’s the fact that she puts on a goddamn gallon of it every night!
Please don’t let this thread die. I must hear the ultimate conclusion of this story.
This lady obviously needs a hit on the head with a clue stick. Someone needs to make it clear to her that:
a. It isn’t a matter of taste, of liking one perfume and not another. No, it doesn’t matter if its Chanel or Eau d’ Cheapo. No, it doesn’t matter if it is eau de perfume or it’s so-called watered down version Eau de toilette. Or, god forbid, one of those “body mists” or “body sprays” or deodorants that commercials always suggest you spray from one outstreched arm in one majestical sweep all the way down to your navel.
b. She can’t be trusted to determine what a “reasonable” of “minimal” amount of perfume is. She has shown that. She should stick to no perfume at all.
When I had this problem with someone I supervised, I used the allergy excuse. My supervisor went so far as to bar her from coming to his floor. The allergy excuse got her to tone it down… a little. There’s still usually a small cloud of stench wafting about her, just smaller than it used to be.
I did some temp work where about 20 drones sat round a table, processing payments. One of the permanent lads had a wee crush on me and expressed this by wearing his bestest aftershave and sitting as close as possible. The more I backed away and shifted chairs during breaks, the more he’d sluice on and the closer he’d sit. I can only assume it was one of those pheromone sprays and he thought that sooner or later I’d succumb. Maybe if he added another litre or two…
After three days of wheezing and hacking failed to provide a hint, I looked him straight in the eye and said - “Your aftershave is giving me asthma, please don’t sit near me anymore.”
I said it loud enough to be heard by the entire table.
I held eye contact until he stood up moved away.
He didn’t come anywhere near me for the rest of the job, but everyone else wanted to be my best friend.
A relative of mine is another offender. She is rather elderly and grew up in a home without indoor plumbing, so she’s in the habit of showering once a week and just having a quick wash and spray of perfume in between.
She gives me clothes - they’re expensive, beautiful and they stink. After half a dozen washes, they still stink to the point where the asthma inhaler is a required fashion accessory. I love her and dread the day she realises that I’ve never, ever worn any of her hand me downs.
Get one of those fabric stink remover sprays and spritz the bitch until she stops.
Have someone call her and then in the middle of the conversation stop and say, “I can’t believe it, but I can smell your perfume through the phone!”
I am going to agree with what Maastricht said about this situation. She clearly doesn’t understand that it’s not necessarily that you don’t like the scent, but that she’s wearing way too fucking much perfume. I had a sorta similar issue with my future MIL that has cleared up within the last year or so, but it was with her obsession with scented everything. I’d visit the house, get knocked over with a different air freshener in every room; what’s worse is that they’d not only be scents out of what I consider a “normal” range*, but the scents would conflict with each other and give me the worst headache ever. I’ve actually vomited and had asthma attacks a few times at her house from the overwhelming scentload effect that had occurred, and she just did not understand why all the scented stuff would be problematic, despite repeated explanations of my medical condition that makes me sensitive to these things; this was coupled with the belief that Benadryl would actually “fix” things or that all we had to do was make sure I took Astelin as a precaution to visiting. After all, it wasn’t bothering her to be around these scented items, why would it be a problem for anyone else? It wasn’t until her husband went into retirement and wasn’t traveling for work all the time that she started to cut back on that and layering multiple perfumes** before going anywhere.
If you can get the higher ups to create some sort of punishment for her making her co-workers ill with this excessive use of perfume, then she might actually listen and understand. Until then, she’s just going to assume that you’re the only person that has a problem with her perfume, and that it’s a matter of scent preferences rather than that she’s wearing too much of it.
[sub]*note: I hate floral scents with a fiery passion when used in solid air freshener form. They all smell awful and don’t actually resemble the florals that they’re based on. It would always be some sort of flowery butthole scent with, say, mangoes and cinnamon or something equally conflicting and obnoxious in the other room.
**This has got to be the dumbest idea ever. Seriously. Spray on one strong perfume, then layer a body spray on top of it? And then you’re going to bring both with you when you go out in case it “wears off”? WTF?[/sub]
I’d like to add another nauseating memory. My mom used to spray herself with perfume on going outdoors. So, just before she’d get in the car with me. A small car, without airco.
She didn’t get it either. :rolleyes:
Or maybe at a certain point, just “a stick”. 
Like I said early on, people like this never get the clue and always think that they’re “not wearing that much”.
Again, the ultimate wake-up call is “I’m sending you home to remove the scent and I don’t want to see you here again wearing perfume.”
Body sprays aren’t meant to be spritzed all over. Any time I used perfume, I’ll spray it lightly in front of me, let it wane, and then “walk” through it. The only time anyone should be able to smell your perfume is when they’re sitting right next to you. It should just be a little hint, not a big cloud.
I’d go to HR on this.