How do I get a co-worker to wear less perfume?

In My Humble Opinion
1

God, I’m suffocating here!

A lady I work with - she sits about five feet away from me, unfortunately - apparently bathes in large vats of cheap perfume before coming to work. When she gets here, the people on the previous shift just scatter to get the hell away from her.

It’s been like this since she started about six weeks ago. After maybe two or three weeks, I just couldn’t take it anymore and, even though it was terribly awkward, I told her about the problem, which basically embarrassed her to the point of speechlessness.

The next night, she had on a tolerable amount. The night after that, it was a little bit more. Another night went by and another dab was added. And on and on and on. Now she’s back up to the full, nauseating strength.

She seems oblivious to “subtle” signs like me making a face every time I sit down or me sitting here with my hand on my face, very obviously pinching my nose shut.

I really don’t want to have to go through awkward confrontations every couple of weeks as long as she’s working here. Any ideas?

2

A Mask with good activated carbon filters should take care of most of it. :smiley:

If it is truly interfering with your ability to work, you already tried asking her. Now it becomes your supervisor/managers problem, talk to them.

3

Well, despite never having taken any management classes or being trained for it in any way, shape, or form, I am her supervisor.

The people up the ladder from me are generally pretty ineffective, which is a pretty raw deal, since I have very little actual power in my position. I have gotten people fired before, but it took weeks of documenting flagrant problems. Little things like this are mostly up to me to resolve, and since my superiors aren’t even in the same building, they don’t have to deal with it, and thus, do not care.

4

Hosing her down with an odor neutralizing spray would probably get the message across.

No?

Well then, I got nothin’. Sorry.

I do sympathize though… got a male coworker that bathes in some sort of aftershave that brings tears to my eyes when he comes within six feet of my desk.

Maybe a second conversation would hammer home the point that her perfume truly is noxious. Or maybe she would get the point if everyone in the office is wearing a clothes pin on their nose. :smiley:

5

I guess the problem is that politely worded critism always speaks of “toning it down a little” or “wear a minimum of scent”. In other words, it is left to the person herself to determine how much is not too much, and she obviously can’t make that decision.

As her sorta boss, I’d say to her (or send out an e-mail): “There have been some complaints about strong perfume/cologne smells in the office. As ingredients in perfume are known to trigger allergies, I propose we set out a rule, for the time being, for everybody not to wear perfume, cologne, bodysprays or aftershave. Thank you.”

Other thread on the subject.

6

[QUOTE=neutron star]
Well, despite never having taken any management classes or being trained for it in any way, shape, or form, I am her supervisor.
[/QUOTE]
The key question is: are you in a position to impose discipline if she refuses to comply? If not, you need to get the support of someone who can, otherwise it’s all talk and unlikely to improve the situation. Are you sure your boss isn’t receptive to such complaints? The higher-ups (or your HR department) might be willing to help out if you ask.

If she can’t (or won’t) stop, is there an option for her to be moved or for you to move to another location farther away?

Document everything: how many days it’s intolerable for you. When you had your conversation. What was agreed. When it became a problem again. How this was addressed?

No more passive-aggressive icky faces and pinching your nose. The next time she wears too much, tell her right away, being matter-of-fact and firm - not apologetic or angry. This is not personal, it’s practical. You need to work, this is complicating the situation, and if she won’t be respectful you have no choice but to do what you really don’t want to do and file a formal complaint (or try to get her moved, or whatever the next step might be):

“Look, I’m sorry to have to bring this up again but you probably do not realize how strong your perfume is. Remember when we talked about this before? The amount you wore next day was fine. If you can stay at that level, then I can live with that. But I’ve noticed every day you add on more and more and it’s just too much. You might not know this but other people have complained too, and I’d really hate for [Mr. Big Mean Boss] to get involved.”

And then if she tells you to eff off or whatever and it doesn’t improve, follow through with getting any support you can from equally-offended co-workers and going up the ladder.

Seriously, she needs to be courteous. It’s not like its a medical condition, it’s a cosmetic. But it sounds like an uphill battle. I wish you luck.

ETA: ooh, I like Maastricht’s answer.

7

[QUOTE=Rachael Rage]
“Look, I’m sorry to have to bring this up again but you probably do not realize how strong your perfume is. Remember when we talked about this before? The amount you wore next day was fine. If you can stay at that level, then I can live with that. But I’ve noticed every day you add on more and more and it’s just too much. You might not know this but other people have complained too, and I’d really hate for [Mr. Big Mean Boss] to get involved.”
[/QUOTE]

I like all of what Rachael Rage said. I might add something like…

“For some people it isn’t a matter of preference. People often have medical reactions to things like perfume. It can cause people to have headaches, allergies, asthma, emphysema, and other respiratory problems. That’s why it’s so important that you be sure to use as little as possible while you’re here at work.”

…or something like that.

I’d really hit it with the medical side so it doesn’t seem like a personal issue.

8

Is it possible that the lady herself has a medical condition and is using perfume to cover her own unpleasant odours?

9

[QUOTE=Rachael Rage]
The key question is: are you in a position to impose discipline if she refuses to comply? If not, you need to get the support of someone who can, otherwise it’s all talk and unlikely to improve the situation. Are you sure your boss isn’t receptive to such complaints? The higher-ups (or your HR department) might be willing to help out if you ask.
[/quote]
No, and pretty sure, respectively. I already sent an email to the higher-ups, so we’ll see.

Thanks. I might try something along these lines if my email proves ineffective.

I could try that angle, though it’s not like she’s in contact with very many people throughout the night - for the most part, only three of us are within smelling range.

I don’t know, but I didn’t smell anything the night that she went light on it. She has never gone without it entirely. If I had to guess, I’d say that she’s trying to compensate for the fact that she is brutally, painfully, practically indescribably ugly to the point where it’s genuinely difficult to look at her face when I talk to her. I’m not trying to sound mean, but I’ve honestly met very, very few people quite so physically (well, and olfactorily) repulsive in my whole life.

10

[QUOTE=sandra_nz]
Is it possible that the lady herself has a medical condition and is using perfume to cover her own unpleasant odours?
[/QUOTE]

Wouldn’t that just make it worse-the perfume just adds to the original odor?
This may sound strange, but I have epilepsy, and often strong smells trigger my seizures (the minor, “auras”). I would have had to bring that up to my boss.

Just explain to your boss that the strong smells make you sick.

11

It is a potential medical problem when people abuse scents. I’d have an asthma attack if I were anywhere near that woman. Getting a general policy of “no or minimal scents” would be a good idea, that way when the next over-perfumer shows up you already have a policy on it.

12

I like **Rachel Rage’s ** suggestion of what you should say to her. As her supervisor, I suggest you treat this like any other “fairly minor but needs to stop” workplace thing, like tardiness or late timesheets. Even better analogies might be excessive chatting or playing music too loud, things that distract coworkers.

I vote strongly against the general email. When it is one person who has the problem, and everyone knows who it is and has been talking about it, the thing to do is to talk to that person. A general email is just stirring the pot.

13

As someone who is allergic to some perfumes, this issue always resonates with me. Unfortunately, the first words out of every single individual’s (male or female) mouth upon complaint has been

But I’m not wearing that muuuuuuuuch!

To which my standard response is now;

“Are you aware that one bottle contains more than one application?”

I’d say that you need to speak to her and cover the annoyance, inconvenience and medical issues involved. Repeatedly, every single freaking day. And while you’re doing that, speak to your superiors, let them know that it is a problem and that she continues to fail to change her behavior, and ask what steps you would be allowed to use if the situation continues.

One surefire tactic, if you’re allowed: Send her home with a warning not to return until she removes the offending perfume. Tell her that she will not be paid for the time she misses. Tell her that being sent home repeatedly could have further consequences. (Don’t say more than “further consequences”, because you don’t know what they are, if you’ll be allowed any, and so forth. You don’t want her complaining that you’ve threatened her job.)

14

I favour the Post-It note style of management.
BITCH YOU STINK
stuck to her monitor when she’s out of the office.

It’s cowardly, and anonymous, and it’s what got me where I am today.

15

Our HR department has a no-fragrance policy because so many people here (including me) are sensitive/allergic to scents. One woman in particular wore a staggering amount of perfume (you could tell immediately if she had been present in any area 10 minutes after she left) and continued to do so even after the policy was put in place, but they must have finally dealt with her directly as she doesn’t wear it anymore.

I agree with everyone else – treat it as a medical issue and take it to HR if necessary.

16

Or you could soften the blow and write it on a cake.

17

I have had a migraine for the last three days and I work in a small office with one other person. She knows very well that I am hypersensitive to fragrance and is courteous to refrain from putting on any cologne until she is leaving the office. I would like to wear cologne myself but it makes me ill.

I used to work in a large office with many people who put on their perfume with fire hoses and fog machines. They would walk past my desk and I would literally have to keep from retching. And they’d keep potpourri and candles and shit on their desks. I got appointed to the building safety committee so I could enforce them not burning their candles because it was a fire hazard – but they still stank. They’d have burned incense if I’d let them.

I’m with Rachael Rage. I’d say that overapplication of fragrance makes many people ill and isn’t going to be allowed, and your office isn’t ventilated enough to deal with the air circulation. Perfume is for after hours.

18

Talk to her again and make sure she understands that you are serious and this isn’t about her as a person, just her choice of perfume. Then the next time she is wearing the perfume go over and ask her to please go to the bathroom and wash off as much of it as possible. She may not think you are serious about the complaint or that you are singling her out because you don’t like her.
Just a quick story since we are on the topic: I was at a movie a few months ago and behind me I heard a light spritzing sound and a few moments later this extreme perfume smell wafted over me. I was gagging and coughing for several minutes and my roommate finally turned around and said loudly to the general group of people behind us, “What kind of asshole feels the need to spray perfume in a crowded theater?” I motioned for her to shut up and not disturb other people but it was too late, the woman was being pointed at by about 6 other people in a circle around her.

19

[QUOTE=pbbth]
I was at a movie a few months ago and behind me I heard a light spritzing sound and a few moments later this extreme perfume smell wafted over me. I was gagging and coughing for several minutes and my roommate finally turned around and said loudly to the general group of people behind us, “What kind of asshole feels the need to spray perfume in a crowded theater?” I motioned for her to shut up and not disturb other people but it was too late, the woman was being pointed at by about 6 other people in a circle around her.
[/QUOTE]

{{{Bows in awe at your friend.}}}

Well played.

20

[QUOTE=beanpod]
BITCH YOU STINK – You could soften the blow and write it on a cake.
[/QUOTE]

Oh, I vote for this.