The Scent of A Woman...(and a question for DoperChicks)

Doper-Babes: Is there some sort of Sacred Chick Law that says “Perfume can only be applied once a day, so you have to use plenty?”

Where I work, some woman who gets to work about 3-5 minutes before me (I’ve arrived early and bumped into her, to my disgust) apparently gets her perfume in multi-gallon-containers from Slutco™ judging from the amount she must be using. And the smell lingers. Every day, when I arrive, I can smell her leavings throughout the whole walk in, even though it’s a 2-3 minute walk to the front door in an outdoor parking lot near a highway. Usually by the time I’ve arrived she’s already inside, I could (and on a bet once, did) close my eyes and follow the trail of stink into the building, bloodhound style.

I don’t know what she’s using, but it’s simultaniously icky-sweet and has the skunky, musky odor of dead animals that once were in heat. (Imagine Maple Syrup, Flowers and Cat Piss, mixed.)

Normally, I walk about 20 yards away from the bimbo-shaped trail of stench; parallelling it. A dark spot in each morning is the inevitable moment when, due to basic geometery, I must cross her path and encounter the dark, fetid miasma of her noisesome stench, my nostrils are becoming calloused from the abrasion caused by her .

Luckily, once inside, she’s nowhere near my department, so as long as I don’t use the elevator for 30 minutes or so after getting in, it’s not too much of a problem. (And it’s forcing me to take the stairs which are better for me anyway).

But…why? I’m sure she’s suffocating the others in her office (the windows don’t open in this building). What does she think she’s accompishing? Isn’t gas warfare prohibited by the Geneva Convention? I want to tell her “Trust me, babe. No guy thinks that a woman smelling of a gallon of cat-piss and maple syrup is erotic.”

Fenris

<shrug>

Only if it’s the same law followed by the men who apparently tried to drown themselves in a pool of aftershave before they decided that life was worth living after all and left the house.

I’m sure you know this, but this isn’t a woman problem, it’s a doesn’t-realize-that-she’s-overloading-on-the-perfume problem. If it were a woman thing, then you couldn’t be around any women (and neither could I). Sounds like she’s pretty bad, but unless you say something (or start coughing when you get too near to her) there’s not a lot you can do.

Agreed. Don’t even get me started on the asshole guy who, back in my apartment days, used to douse one of his socks in “Stetson” cologne and toss it in the dryer with his clothes so all his clothes would smell like hot sweaty bulls. And so would anyone else’s who used the dryer for the next day or two. And so would the entire building.

Fenris

Why do people wear perfume/cologne anyway? It’s disgusting. I don’t want to smell humans, regardless of whether they smell like flowers or rotting garbage. It’s distracting and offensive to the olfactory bulbs. I think people should strive to be as odorless as possible.

When someone wears perfume regularly, their nose gets numb to that scent and consequently, they can no longer tell when they have applied enough. They squirt on a little and can’t smell it so they put on more and end up with an application that would be sufficient for the entire county. I have a very sensitive sniffer, so I don’t even wear perfume because it makes me crazy.

I don’t really wear perfume, and when I do, it’s two sprays tops, no matter whether I can smell it or not. I get disgusted when I walk around and smell a trail that seems to be a walking French whorehouse instead of a human.

I’ve always found turning blue and falling to the floor, gagging worked. I had to leave the register once, unable to breathe because one lady had the crap on by the quart. She looked spooked and offended that I ran from her gagging, until my friend pointed out I was badly allergic to perfume.

I spent 15 minutes in a sub-zero freezer trying to breathe after that.

I used to work with a lady like that! She would walk around the building and you could still smell her perfume 10 minutes after she passed by. It was awful smelling stuff and used to give me really bad headaches. I think she put so much on because she was a smoker and she must have thought it covered the smell. Just imagine cat piss, cigarette smoke, and flowers mixed together… not that’s a horrible smell.

Damnit Fenris, I thought this was going to be a thread where I could bitch about how much I hate that movie.

Anyway, I never thought I’d be one of those high-maintenance types with allergies and sensitivities to random things that strangers wear, but I developed one to perfume. If I have to be in the same enclosed room as a douser, I get a splitting headache. I’ve noticed recently that at conferences I’ve been to, the materials ask attendees to not wear perfume (for this very reason)–HOORAY! Anyway, those people who shower in scent are not only annnoying people who don’t like scent, they are also causing true pain and misery to people who are allergic. Sometimes to people walking an entire BLOCK behind them.

Argh, sniffle.

I used to have horrible allergies to perfumes (including scented deodorants, fabric softeners, what-have-you), but have been getting marginally less sensitive as I get older.

I find that at present it is only the synthetic perfumes that drives my sinuses nuts; flower-based perfumes (such as, say, Chanel No. 5) don’t provoke the same degree of reaction. But I still have to stop breathing when walking through the perfume sections in department stores (why do they always put them right by the front door? I always have to make a run for it), or risk watering eyes and nose for ten minutes afterwards.

As for individuals who overdo it, I have one word: firehose.

You know the words that just crack me up. “there must be something wrong with Al Pacino’s nose because the scent of women smells like rotten tomatoes…” :smiley:

First, it makes me really happy that Wildest Bill listens to the Bloodhound Gang. I don’t know why, but it does.

Second, I am not surprised to see my soul-sister Cranky shares my hatred for that movie. Except the tango scene, which makes me strangely hot.

Third, I hate perfume and cologne. It makes me gag. There is nothing worse than using a ladies’ room stall after a “hoser.” The furthest I’ll go is a shower gel or body lotion with a nice fresh scent - you can’t smell it on me unless you’re really into smelling me. You get the idea.

Fourth, this reminds me of senior year in college. My downstairs neighbors were 5 Eur-Abs named Alexis, Georg, Mustafa, Florian, and Christian (pronounced Christi-AHN). You could absolutely tell when they were getting ready for a big night out by the fumes wafting up the stairs. It used to give one of my housemates migraines.

Fifth, an open letter to the guy who shares my cubicle:

Most people (fortunately) stopped wearing Drakkar Noir around 1987. Apparently you didn’t get the memo. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I have daily fantasies of taking you to the men’s room and hosing you down, and not in that good prison-flick way..

Don’t even get me started on Brut.

Okay, Fenris, I may have an approachable solution to your dilemma. If this cow-orker (moo) is neither in your department, nor in contact with higher ranking orkers that could getcha fired, then approach the offender with this quote handy:

“Nice perfume… must you marinate in it?”

Naturally, you’ll want to weigh the gains & losses of this before attempting it, but I can guarantee it’ll prod the noxious wench to reconsider her dosage.

You should only be able to smell someone’s scent when you are close enough to kiss them.

I wear perfume everyday, different scents and no on has ever commented on my smell. I apply one squirt on my chest and one on my forearms and rub them together. No more ever. I think the trouble comes when people are trying to substitute perfume or cologne for a good bath and deodorant.

BTW I also worked with a woman who you could track throughout the whole building by her vapor trail.

Oh yes Fenris, I can really relate to your rant. I get a headache when I am forced to be around someone who baths in perfume.

I also am one of those people who cannot wear 99.9% of the perfumes on the market. I either smell like a skunk or a men’s locker room. So I don’t wear perfume myself. I also am aware that there are those who are alergic to the smell of perfume so it would be rude to make them suffer.

Your workplace might have a policy regarding too much perfume. You could always have the supervisor talk to Ms. Smelly. Or you could have one of your women friends talk to her. Or as a last choice and not the best one, you could mention it to her yourself, but be prepared to die if she doesn’t take it right.

I hate perfume. It’s disgusting. I have never EVER smelled even ONE perfume that I thought was anything less than severely unpleasant. The only cologne I ever liked was Obsession for Men and then only in the tiniest doses.

Why do people feel that we should smell them? It’s offensive and obnoxious. The most I ever do is put a teensie daub of francinscence oil on my navel. That’s it. I got into that habit back when I was dancing, as I’d often have my midrift inches away from men’s faces, and I’m sure it would have started to smell sweaty after 5 hours of dancing…

In any case, on those rare occassions that I do that, your nose has to be actually touching my skin to smell it, and IMO anything stronger is just rude. It’s like carrying around a radio without wearing headphones.

A previous employer sent out a memo regarding the offense of excessive perfumes. It politely asked us to consider co-workers in one’s decision to use perfume (in other words, don’t do it). The most severe penalty was to be sent home without pay to shower. A couple people were sent home.

There are such things as “soap” and “water” and “deodorant” that work wonders to keep one’s own odors under control. An overabundance of perfume is not really a good thing.

Robin

I agree with Opal about Obsession for Men. Fiance decided he wanted to start wearing cologne. I do not like perfume or cologne, so I told him we had to pick it out together. After sniffing and sampling every cologne on the market (UGH!!!) we finally decided on Obsession.

And as for the rest of the thread, I agree 110%. I hate people who bathe in the stuff, especially when it smells like some sort of bug repellent. Like OFF.

Ah yes…EW.

I don’t wear perfume for the same reason I don’t wear makeup. I’m lazy.

I don’t like perfume for a different reason, mainly that I like how people smell all by themselves. Clean people don’t smell strong, but they do have individual scents and I like that. Perfumes get in the way.

ug! i hate it when i can smell someone. smell is one of my more delicate senses, that being said. . . i hate elevator rides with people wearing the crap-o-licious smell-er-up-ers. and guys wear too much smell-bad just as often as women do, so dont be blaming the rank air on the female gender. it must be some cultural thing? i dunno.