Egads! Perhaps you didn’t see the signs posted all around the hospital that say “scent-free zone”, so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. But as you’re going to start working here full time, I suggest that you rethink your usage of Eau du Mustard Gas. I’m not so sure you’re supposed to rinse your hair and clothes in it. Yes, I know you had it shipped in by the tanker load for $1.98, but that does not mean you need to use it all in one sitting.
For fuck’s sake, lady, you stopped in this room for 4 seconds to shake my hand. How the fuck did you manage to get your perfume stink on my clothes? This is going to be with me until I shower and do laundry. Until then, everything I eat is going to taste like Elizabeth Taylor’s Ass. You funkified my life, bitch.
Ladies, here’s a hint: There should only be one person in the world who knows you wear perfume, and he’d better know your ticklish spots as well. Seriously, you should share your scent with as much reckless abandon as you share your vagina. Any more than that and you’re a stink slut.
There are those of us in the world who can detect the scent of cheap perfume, and it is distracting and atrocious.
I’m not saying that I think paying $100 for a bottle of something by Calvin Klein is “worth it.”
However, that doesn’t mean that paying $10 for something “close” is worth it either. Perfume and cologne are tricky things to get right. This isn’t like walking around in $20 shoes instead of $200 shoes where you’re only going to offend a snob.
Cheap perfume smells like fuckin’ shit. The fact that you bought it might indicate this is lost on you and you should consider yourself one of the lucky one. Just realize that it isn’t true for all of us.
Oh, and men. . .you shouldn’t be wearing cologne anyway. But if you do, same thing.
Man, half an hour later and I can still taste that woman. :mad:
Actually, it’s not that tricky to figure out: If you’re so offensive that you have to douse yourself in scented lighter fluid, take a fucking shower. Or stay home.
Maybe the problem is that she does share her scent with as much reckless abandon an she shares her vagina, and it’s the only way to cover up the wharf-like scent.
I can commisserate. I’ve been stuck in elevators (where I’ve said out loud, “Somebodies got on way too much perfume” - fortunately, thus far, it hasn’t been anyone with whom I’ve had to work) and subway cars where the odor would wilt a titan arum lilly.
I’m going to keep wearing my Nautica, as my woman thinks it smells incredibly sexy on me. But all I do is squirt once in the air in front of me, then walk into it.
I was going to give this woman a pass on how she looks, as she cannot control her genes. But if you’re suggesting she’s a pin-up girl for the 12th Fleet, then I humbly ask you to rethink your stance. shudder
I have many, many coworkers who feel obliged to hose themselves down with perfumes of various varieties. It’s not even always bad perfume.
But I have allergies - perfumes (with perhaps a half dozen exceptions) give me a nasty, nasty headache almost instantly and trigger moderate breathing issues.
Why is it that when I attempt to explain, politely, that I would really, really appreciate it if they could manage to refrain from spraying perfume around MY work area, they inevitably insist “But it smells good!”
Even if it does, so what? You’re giving me a headache and the fucking smell LINGERS - for HOURS. And you’re in MY area.
Oh and for the love of God, don’t EVER lean over and say “You’ll like it better if you just try it on!” and then hose me down with it, too.
!!
Not to mention that if I can SMELL YOU COMING, you have used too damn much perfume. My sense of smell is good, but I’m not a freaking bloodhound, lady. If I can smell you more than oh, about a foot away, you need to bathe. At least twice, and without the eleven scented toiletries I know you have and use.
It goes without saying that if I can taste your perfume, you are delusional.
You’re joking. People have actually done that to you? That’s a punch-worthy offense.
I often wonder if I have allergies to perfume as well, as my reaction goes way beyond unpleasantness. There’s one brand that to me smells like wet, scented toilet paper. It lingers for days. I have to remove myself from the vicinity. I swear, if I met a horny underwear model who smelled like that, I’d get away from her as fast as possible.
Besides, this woman didn’t strike me as being loose of morals. I’d bet that she doesn’t even do her husband, much to his relief. Think Hyacinth Bucket.
I will never understand this about some women, how the hell do they think that dousing themselves with chemicals will attract men? So many of the cheap perfumes that are used by the bucket smell, to me at least, EXACTLY LIKE RAID INSECTICIDE. Maybe these women think that: 1) they will not have to bother bathing that day, 2) it will kill all the cooties crawling on them, and 3) it will get them a MAN. Sheesh!
I feel your pain. Unfortunately, people who wear too much perfume will never change. They don’t seem to realize that even though they got the gift set with the perfume, bath gel, bath soap, scented powder etc. they aren’t meant to be used all at the same time.
Well, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. There are some blendings of a woman’s natural scent with a properly applied perfume that almost automatically just give me a stiffer.
There’s a girl from college who I think I fucked just because she smelled so good. I don’t really know another reason for it. That was 15 years ago. She wore something called “Ani Ani” (I don’t know the spelling, but it’s pronounced “a knee, a knee”.)
Of course the cheap smells you reference in the rest of your post don’t have that effect, but the right scent sometimes. . .
You are, of course, quite correct. A good perfume, properly applied, is wonderful. A light and fragrant aroma wafting from a women, but barely perceptable outside of a small radius, is very romantic. But, the allure swiftly disappears and turns to revulsion when the cheap stuff is poured on!
Sounds like Anais Anais.
But of course, too much of anything is awful. Most of my perfumes are the expensive kind (with an occasional Body Shop oil for variety), but even those - spray, walk through the mist, put the bottle down. If I wear one of my husband’s jackets hours later, he will still know I wore his jacket when he puts it on the next day.
We share walls with a neighbor whose perfume beliefs run to “cheap and lots of it”. There are days when we’d like to be out in our garden, enjoying the good smells of flowers and fresh mulch, but when the wind blows from their house, we’re enveloped in a cloud of godawful choking stink. We have to go back in our house and close all the windows, even on a nice day, to escape the stench. Yuck!
I’m not sure how we’ve connected too much perfume with attracting men. In my experience (and certainly in this case) the worst offenders tend to be older women who are married and likely have grandchildren. It’s not like they’re cruisin’ for some bone. And since most women dress to impress other women, I imagine that they stink themselves for other women as well.
(Men, on the other hand, put on cologne to attract babes. This is also why we do laundry, shave, bathe, and leave the house. If it were not for women, few men would see the wisdom of owning more than one shirt.)
As for my own tastes, nothing smells better than fresh-washed girl, wet hair and all. Best. Smell. In the Universe. Nothing smells better.
I like to liberally douse myself in the Scent of the Day every morning, but since most scents have little lasting power on dry, oil-less skin like mine, I’ve had no complaints.
My sister, however, has a large atomizer of Coco with which she dispenses anywhere from 8 - 16 sprays onto herself, her clothes, and into her bag.