How Do I Get Over My Fear of Dogs?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Flashback to 18 years ago. My neighbor’s dog used to chase me when I stepped off the school bus, from the curb to my house 500 feet away. To an 8-year old kid, this was a long run and a big dog. (I forget what breed…it was possibly some kind of hound. Anyway, it had four legs and barked a lot.) I really have no idea why this thing was always after me; I just remember that I didn’t venture outside much as a kid.

The thing got my 4-year old sister one day. We both stepped off the bus, and, as the old joke goes, I didn’t have to outrun the dog, but only my sister. :rolleyes: It got her. I still vividly remember the thing leaping up and slashing her face. She had to get stitches, which didn’t do a whole lot for her fragile juvenile psyche.

To this day, I’m still incredibly uncomfortable around most dogs. (My sister will freeze on sight of them.) I realize that my fear is pretty irrational, since most pet dogs are relatively harmless. Nonetheless, I tend to freeze up or go into a mild panic around them. Hyper animals tend to freak me out, because they seem so darn uncontrollable. (Cats are ok. Horses are ok. Elephants are funny.) What’s worse is that my reaction tends to set dogs off even more, probably because they perceive me as a threat.

I was at a friend’s bachelor party this weekend, and his dog consistently went off at me. It got so bad that I had to sit on the porch for the last hour I was these, as the thing wouldn’t leave me alone. (Unfortunately, my friend wouldn’t put the dog elsewhere, either…most dog owners I know tend to treat them a as a member of the family, meaning guests just have to put up with them. :confused:)

Any of you have any advice on how I can get over this?

2

Damn, that is terrible what happened to your sister, and I don’t blame you for being freaked out. By the way, a dog owner who won’t keep the dog in another part of the house when you’re there is an asshole. Yes, my dog is incredibly important to me, and is a part of my family, but he’s still a dog…

I don’t know what to tell you about getting over the fears. I’m not sure that hanging around other dogs will help. Do your friends have any really mellow dogs you could practice on? You know, just petting them and getting comfortable with them in the same room?

That old chestnut about how dogs can smell fear may not be totally accurate, but they can definetly tell when your uncomfortable, and it can make them uncomfortable too. So they may react differently.

Wish I could help. :frowning:

3

God, I hope I had my dog at the doggie daycare when you were over. I did, didn’t I? he can be real annoying.

4

I used to be very freaked by dogs until I moved into the city, where there are lots of them. My advice would be to get to know one or two who are well-behaved and get to be comfortable around them.

You might want to spend time in a park where there are dogs around so you can observe them from a distance, rather than being forced to pet them right off.

I’m guessing that many of the dogs you meet are at other peoples’ houses so the dog is being territorial and needing to greet everyone coming into the house. To me, this has always felt more threatening than meeting them on neutral ground.

5

Note to Dopers: Cranky is one of the most accommodating people I’ve ever met.

Yeah, I don’t remember seeing your dog anywhere at your party. If he had been loose, your only memory of me would be a guy screaming bloody murder and hiding in your closet. :smiley:

6

We have several fenced off-leash dog parks in our area. If your area has one, this would be a good place to start as you can stay outside the fence to watch the dogs just being dogs. If/when you feel a bit more comfortable, you can venture inside and pet some of the clearly sociable dogs.
One of my daughters used to be quite shy around dogs. She went with us to the dog park and soon got to the point where she now has to greet almost every dog in there. She’s on a first name basis with about 30-40 dogs there now.
The dog park is a good location because it is neutral turf, so there’s no real territory to defend.

7

Go find someone who keeps Havanese. They’re nominally dogs and the least threatening thing you can imagine. Then work your way up. :slight_smile:

8

The same thing happened to my mother (or similar). She realized, when I was about 6, that she had passed her fear onto me and my brother. She didn’t wantus afraid of dogs all our life.

So, she did something which cured our fear of dogs perfectly.

She got a dog. A tiny li8ttle puppy who had to be fed on baby food, and who had to sleep with a hot watrer bottle and a clock 'cause he had been separated too early from his mother. He could barely walk, and he was incredibly sweet and cute. Who could be afraid of that puff of fur?

Of course, he grew, but never so much that all of a sudden there was a big dog in our house. And we all love him. And he is incredibly sweet and gentle.

However, when a dog bigger than him (he is medium-sized) or more hyper than him (he is relatively sedate) comes bouding towards me, I am still terrified. That barely happens, though.

Kind of an extreme solution to your problem, but I assure you it works.

9

That’s great, LaurAnge - thats kind of what I would have suggested too, if you have the means for it. “FAce your fears” and all that. And puppies are SO cute. My SO used to not like dogs at all, but by getting to know mine (at my parents house) he’s more comfortable with them, and I have him at the point where once we move back to Quebec, and get more or less “permanently” settled in, we’ll get one! Besides, my dog is a GOlden Retriever, so he was faced with a big, jumpy one right away, but the pup is just so damn friendly, you gotta love him!

Now, If I can only get him to agree to a cat in this apartment, and not have to wait til then, too… :slight_smile:

10

You can also go the opposite route. Old dogs (assuming they’re reasonably well-mannered) tend to be much more docile. And I’d recommend sticking to breeds that are known for their good behavior (beagles, spaniels, retrievers, etc). Also, I’ve found a decent barometer of a dog’s attitude is its tail. If it’s wagging, he’s playful. And keep in mind dogs will be dogs… for instance, my dog has an annoying tendency to take people’s hands in his mouth. He’s not trying to bite, but more like hold your hand with his mouth. And for people who aren’t familiar with dogs (and some who are), this can be alarming. The point being that what you perceive to be threatening may not be. (Obviously, if in doubt, back away from the dog.)

Oh yeah-I forget where I heard this, but I always practice it with new dogs and it always seems to go over well. Before you pet a dog, let it sniff your hand.

11

This is actually a really common fear. I have professional dog-training experience, and you’d be really surprised at all the people who love their dog but are basically terrified of other dogs. The only thing I can suggest is what has been suggested previously, especially the fenced dog park, older/mellow dog idea. But don’t get a puppy unless you are 110% certain that you can and will love, care for, train, and afford, both financially and emotionally, to own a dog.

Here are a few suggestions- when approaching a dog, read the dog- tail straight up, legs squared, looking right at you- this is a dominant dog who may not appreciate your invading his turf. Never make eye contact with a strange dog- instead, crouch down, look away, and scratch the dog’s chest. (Petting a dominant dog’s head or neck can seem like a threat.) Always ask the owner if you can pet the dog, if s/he’s friendly, etc. A friend’s older Lab or Golden would be an excellent choice. If a dog comes up to you, tail wagging, mouth hanging open, tongue out, ears relaxed, you’re safe to pet.

Your own body language is probably keying the dog in to how you feel. You’re most likely tense and rigid, making quick or jerky movements- this looks threatening to a dog. Just try to relax- move slowly and deliberately, breathe deeply. Look away from the dog, act nonchalant, like you don’t even notice the dog is there, and couldn’t care less what it does next. This tells the dog you’re not about to do something crazy, but you’re also not a subordinate.

Get a few good books about dog behavior and training- books by Stephen Budiansky, Stanley Coren, Brian Kilcommons, and John Ross are good.

On a side note, anyone who won’t put the dog in another room when s/he’s making a guest uncomfortable or just being a general nuisance is a complete asshole. They’re giving dogs and dog owners a bad name. My dogs are family members, but like any other family member who’s being a pain in the ass, they get told where they can get off.

Good luck. If there are any obedience competitions in your area, maybe you could attend one and talk to some owners- obedience comp. dogs usually have very good manners and “people skills”, since they have to deal with this stuff all the time. Visiting a breeder could also be a good idea- puppies are irresistible, and if the breeder’s a good one who truly wants to promote their breed, they’ll want people to know how great their dogs are.

Also, I hope I don’t get flamed for this, so I’ll issue a few qualifying statements right now: every indiviadual dog is different. There are no guarantees. I like every single breed of dog, and have met good and bad members of a lot of them. It’s just that due to breeding, historical function, owner personality, media hype, etc, etc., that some breeds can be said to be more or less friendly than others. But again, no guarantees- I’ve seen vicious Golden Retrievers, and I own an incredibly sweet, friendly, trustworthy pitbull. So here’s a list of some good breeds to meet, and some not-so-good breeds for people who are afraid of dogs. Mixed-breeds are slightly tougher to predict, but most are absolutely great dogs. (Shelter dog plug inserted here.)

Generally Pretty Friendly:

Golden Retrievers
Labrador Retrievers
Pugs
Cavalier King Charles Spaniels
Newfoundlands
Bloodhounds
English & Irish Setters

Dominant & Territorial

Rottweilers
Akitas
Chow-Chows
American Pit Bull terriers
Airedale Terriers
Chihuahuas (I’m not kidding.)

12

I would second the idea of an old Labrador, they almost all love people and are really laid back. Just check with the owner to make sure that he isn’t arthritic or something like that which might cause him to not appreciate being petted.

13

ratty, honey, irish setters aren’t “pretty friendly”.

they’re nuts.
totally wacko. very sweet, but very dim dogs.

that’s why parent’s vetoed buying us one…and got a Pyreannean Mountain dog instead. think a bigger, dopier, white, Newfoundland.
:rolleyes:
parents, they’re SO logical!

after she died, we got a lab/alsatian cross…which my family still considers really small and cute.

thus i’m TOTALLY unfazed by any dogs, even big mean ones.

so i think a little tiny, cute puppy, which will grow up to be a large and intimidating, but very loveable dog is your best bet.

and while it’s easy to be scared of dogs, it’s VERY hard to be scared of YOUR dog. if you can face a puppy, it’s prolly a plan.

the old dog idea is good too, but if you find it hard to be calm and composed around dogs, it may not respect you enough to take orders from you.

14

I think being afraid of dogs is very healthy.

I don’t get a handle on WHY you want to get over being afraid of dogs. Is it because your friends have dogs and you want to visit them comfortably? I think it’s easier to cultivate new friends!

15

ratty is definitely right about Chihuahuas. They’re known as lap sharks. Also stay away from spitz. They’re very friendly to you, but extremely territorial against other people. Dalmations, too. They’re very stupid and not at all good with children.

I’ve been around dogs all my life, and in fact, when I was a toddler, I was bitten over the eye by one and had to get stitches (I still have the scar 25 years later), but I’ve never feared them (weird considering one scorpion sting causes an absolute neurosis with me regarding them). But I do understand your fear, and I think getting a dog is the best way to get over it.

If I had to pick only one breed, retrievers seem to be the absolute friendliest towards humans. If you live on a farm or otherwise have a lot of open land, a border collie is good, but they’re worker dogs and shouldn’t be kept in the city.

16

I was bit in the face by a dalmation when I was about two. I still have the scar on my left cheek from it.
I LOVE dogs. I’m really sure it’s something more than a simple good/bad experience that makes people scared of them. I’ve met some pretty mean dogs in my days, but the majority of them are sweethearts. Even some of the “mean” ones are nice if you approach them properly. And being able to keep ahold of your jitters around them helps a lot. Animals are very attuned to human emotions, so if you feel edgy, the animal’s going to feel edgy as well. You’ll both be sitting there thinking the other is going to do something to harm you, and that just doesn’t bode well.

I add my vote for getting a dog as the best way to deal with it. A labrador would be the best in my opinion. Get it as a puppy, you’ll grow more attatched to it that way, and it to you. This will help you get used to the animal itslef, and it’s size when it’s older should help you deal with being edgy around big dogs. When little dogs get mean, you know you can handle yourself, but no matter how tough you are, when a great dane starts bearing his teeth at you, it’s a scary thing. So, get comfortable with the big dogs, that will help curb your jitteriness around little ones.

Plus, labrador puppies are so damned adorable.
God, I miss my dog.

17

I think getting a dog would be absolutely the worst idea at this point. Please think about it at great length before making such an important commitment. Ratty had some great pointers to think about if you do decide to go that route. Take it from a Chow owner that a dominant breed would be a bad idea and also remember any dog will dominate you if you let them. You need to make sure you’ll be the Alpha - in charge.

annieclaus asked an appropriate question. Although I personally would never avoid pet owners because I love animals.

flyboy88 what somewhat correct about a wagging tail - it can mean friendliness. But it can also indicate nervousness and subordination.

I’m not sure what to suggest - maybe you could volunteer at a shelter and do clean up and other chores until you feel more comfortable one on one with dogs? You could learn dog behavior and response by just observing them individually, together and with other people. Be honest with the shelter staff about your reasons for volunteering. Good luck!

18

Boy! Do I agree with Lisa Ann here! Bringing a dog into your home is not like checking out a library book. If it doesn’t work out and you want to get rid of the dog, you’re shifting around a living animal. And dogs are “bond-ers.” They don’t like to be shifted from person to person, place to place.

If you really want to overcome your fear of dogs, look into a mental health facility that has group therapy to correct fears, etc. Maybe there’s a group for fear of dogs and you and some other people could all become relieved of your fears together based on professional therapy.

19

I work at a shelter, and I’m a little leery of dogs, too. Twice when I was a kid I was attacked by dogs.

I still really dislike poorly-trained dogs. YOu know, the big, smelly, barky ones that come bounding up at you and try to jump on you. However, I’ve had enough good experiences with friendly, well-behaved dogs that I’ve gotten to appreciate them.

Do you have any friends with well-behaved dogs? Maybe you could go for walks with the friend and with the dog. Get to the point where you hold the leash, and to the point where you can give the dog commands in a confident voice. Play fetch with the dog.

I’ll third the idea that getting a puppy is a bad, bad idea. Dogs are critters, not therapy tools, and you don’t want to get a dog if you’re afraid of them. However, maybe your local shelter will let you socialize puppies; you may even be able to come by sometime when they’re slow (especially during the winter) just to play with the puppies.

Good luck!
Daniel

20

It’s obviously a bad idea if he’s not prepared to make the committment that having a dog entails, I never suggested otherwise. If he is, however, aware of the responsibilities, I see no reason why it’s a bad idea.