How do we actually *know* this is Michael Jackson?

I mean, dear Lord.

Really, is there a chain of evidence that this is the same person who sung ‘Ben’ and ‘ABC’.

Or even ‘Thriller’, for heaven’s sake. He could have be replaced with this person at any point in the past and who would know?

It’s not. I maintain it’s Gollum.

Note the eyes… nose… cheekbones… the drawn lips in a grimace.

Mm-hmm… Gollum! Disguised. But undeniably Gollum.

You know, it occurs to me that that’s what a lot of burn victims look like.

No wait, the burn victims usually look better . . .

Actually, I had noticed that Nanette Fabray and Michael Jackson possess near-identical noses…

He reminds me of Jack Nicholson in Joker make-up. Actually, the Joker is attractive, comparitively speaking.

Hey, Master Wang-Ka! Welcome back!

But what do you think of the theory that Michael and Janet Jackson are really the same person?

At the very least, they must patronize the same plastic surgeon.

No, no. It’s Michael and Latoya Janet is the popular, decent and relatively normal Jackson.

Oh, please, please, tell me she’s normal enough that she hasn’t gone and named a kid “Pwincess Pwecious” or something that I don’t know about.

EddyTeddy here ya go. A photo of Latoya from… from… her official website…




It’s gotta be true! Latoya and Michael are the same person!!!

Please, please, tell me there can’t be two of them??? :eek:

Just looking at the mugshot. It says “Race: B.”

Is that still accurate?!

Yeah, mugshots are for identification purposes, right? Would a person who had never seen Michael Jackson before really describe him as “black”? I’d be more inclined towards “killer space zombie,” personally.

That THING on the control board can’t be human… can’t be
Speaking of the Inhumans Glad to see you Back MWK U love your stories

Sure, if it’s a multiple-choice test question.

My race is:
A) White / Black / Hispanic / Asian / Pacific Islander / Native American / Inuit / those blue people in the hills of Kentucky / Martian
B) Other

He’s 5’11" and weighs 120 pounds?? Plastic must be lighter than human skin, or he might have an eating disorder on top of his myriad other problems.

I think I just realized where Lord Voldemort has been hiding for the past 15 years. All he needed was a wig, some eyeliner, some lipstick, and about 50 lbs of pancake make-up. Who’d think to look for him in L.A.?

I think this is one of the cases where they need a “Species” part for identification.

Seriously, that might be the closest approximation of a real, living extraterrestrial we’ll ever see.

He looks like Latoya and Gollum’s love child. Hmmm…maybe the real Michael died in that accident that set his hair on fire. Latoya substituted her and Gollum’s son (who is also named Michael, after his uncle) and everyone is just pretending that he’s the same guy who sang “Beat It.”