How do we track immigrants? Use Fedex.

This is Chris Christie:

From the article.

“At any moment, FedEx can tell you where that package is. It’s on the truck. It’s at the station. It’s on the airplane,” Mr. Christie told the crowd in Laconia, N.H. “Yet we let people come to this country with visas, and the minute they come in, we lose track of them.”
Mike Huckabee called Fox news this morning and was asked about this. He want’s credit for having created the idea first. He did seem to scoff at the idea of a barcode though, so I guess that’s something.

For the life of me, I can’t figure out how on earth they think this is going to work.

They don’t think it’s going to work. They see Trump saying dumbass stuff and getting the bottom 30% to cheer him on anyways, so they’re trying to say stuff that’s even dumber.

Why just immigrants? Let’s tattoo a barcode on everybody.

Tattooing bar codes on people now, governor?
"Chris Christie: Oh, What a Package of Brown can Do for You…!"

Not only barcode everyone, have a reader at every street corner, so you know where everybody is. And make going off-road illegal.

Excellent idea. Have them implement it and afterwards crowing about this being one of the signs of the Apocalypse/Rapture/Revelations/whatever

I came in to say much the same thing. Contrary to Christie’s premise, FedEx does not know where a package “at all times” — the location is updated only when the package changes state. So in order to make the system work readers would have to be placed every few feet and avoiding them would have to be a criminal act. All backed up by armed police drones.

(For some reason, “Why don’t you share?” just popped into my head while I was typing the above.)

Forget barcodes - implant GPS transmitters and set up centers where they’re monitored - kinda like air traffic controllers do with airplanes. Easy-peasy!
Barcodes, indeed - I scoff at barcodes!

That tracking system is largely for show and useless when they actually lose something.

Someone should point out to him that persons, unlike packages, have free will, are ambulatory, and can remove a label.

Are these candidates now competing to see who can say the stupidest shit? Did I miss a memo?

My parents visit Arizona occasionally… I’ll tell 'em to pre-scan themselves in Phoenix now to save time.

Well, see Lord Feldon’s post (#2) above.

Trump has been appealing to the conceit of “good ol’ American know-how,” and the Republican electors love it. Christie is just following suit.

Imagine how poor Chris Christie must feel. Trump out Christied him exponentially, and now where is he?

And the best part of this FedEx program? We’ll make DHL pay for it.

I hate to give this idiot any ideas, but we could probably give them cell phones and track those. I don’t think people on visas are the immigration problem though.

… and I could give Boss Hogg a coupon for Famous Dave’s BBQ and track him with a Seismograph. Its ALSO not something I want to see Tax Payer Money spent on.

“Oh that’s it… NOBODY empties out a Church’s Fried Chicken in MY town…!”

The data’s not current but the Pew report underlying some of the current claims really did see it as a big chunk of the problem. One number in the link is 41%. Anotehr is a range of 33-50%.

The only person I knew who was here illegally simply over stayed their visa by a couple years before self deporting back to Canada. There was zero enforcement or tracking. Nobody checked when the visa expired. They just stayed without changing address or phone number. The legal system really is very porous. For effectiveness even some small improvements in tracking is likely the best bang for the enforcement buck.

About 40% of illegal immigrants are due to coming into the country legally and overstaying their visas.

I seem to recall another fellow wanting to code people he considered unreliable.

That’s fine, but let’s not get any big ideas that we should track guns. There’s still a thing called freedom, ya know.

As long as the gun has a jammer to defeat the barcode-on-forehead trackers everything will be fine. Only gun-owners will be free. Exactly as their Gawd intended. :rolleyes::smiley:

I was going to make a ‘Christie wants to confiscate all your people’ joke (because, you know, ‘guns don’t kill people…’ + ‘gun-grabber!’, etc). Except I guess he actually does. So, you know, not a good joke.